'Témoignage’ = comes from the French verb ‘temoigner,’ which literally translates as ‘to witness’.
Témoignage – or witnessing – is simply the act of being willing to speak out about what we see happening in front of us.
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"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."
(Proverbs 31: 8-9)
Main sections in this post:
- Remember who you are (Young Advocate Charlene),
- What would Jesus do?
- Hypocrisy Alert!
- How to change the system: Be Set Apart
- Pick a side: For the Oppressed/ Against the Oppressed (There's no neutral)
- Get Ready for The Revolution!
- (If you don't feel like reading all this. Feel free to meet up with me. Let's be friends! :)
~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Remember Who You Are ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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Me and Vallerie at our school's Swimming Gala :)
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God kept telling me to remember who I am throughout the year. So I took a trip down memory lane and I remembered an incident in Class 6. There was this one time a lot of people in my class hadn't done their math homework and that usually meant punishment but on this day instead of Mr. Chege (our class teacher and math teacher) punishing us he did something strange... he decided to listen to us. He asked us why we weren't finishing our homework (he asked in a way like he actually wanted to understand) and he gave us the chance to open up and give him the real reasons and not just excuses. And I really liked that time because he came down to our level, he listened to us and some changes were actually made and we developed a better relationship with him as our teacher coz we felt like we could trust him. So this other time, during break time people started talking about problems in our school: From Obadiah, the librarian, who harasses students, asking about your life history and other irrelevant things before he lets you borrow books (that's if you actually let you borrow them lol) to the Class 8's who acted high and mighty and wanted to keep us out of their building and even to Mr. Chege himself- this was my contribution to the complaining. You see we had a lesson called PPI (Primary Pastoral Instruction) whereby we had praise and worship (my friends and I would lead) and the class teacher, Mr. Chege would give us The Word. Then right after we had a Math lesson with Mr. Chege. But then Mr. Chege thought it would be great idea to just have 2 math lessons instead of PPI and we hated that coz we actually liked having PPI and that's what it was meant to be and who wanted to have double math!?! -_- That made me mad because he was the class teacher so he could do what he wanted and we didn't really have a say. But oh! things had changed. Well that's what I thought after the day he actually listened to us. So I had an idea, I told the people who were talking about our school's problems, "Why don't we have another meeting with Mr. Chege and tell him how we feel and the changes we want to see and maybe he'll actually want to listen to us again."
So we planned it out. We had a free lesson- I can't remember if it was that same day or another day- so I went to his office and asked him if we could have another meeting with him then because we wanted to talk about some problems we saw in the school and he was like "Sure!" I was happy because things were going according to plan so far. So during that free lesson he came and sat down and told us to take the floor and tell him the problems we saw. This is where things didn't go as planned, not everyone who had talked about problems went up to share like, people backed out. So the only people who ended up speaking was me, Vallerie and who else? Sheila Mutiga? Judy? I can't remember... And during this time Mr. Chege was taking down notes. He said that he would present them to the principal and see if they could make some changes and implement the solutions we had suggested. So at the end of the meeting, like we had planned, we sung the song ♫ Simama watu wote! [Stand up everybody!] Say yes for the Children! Sema ndio kwa watoto And make the world a better place ♫ which was a song sponsored by UNICEF in support of children's rights in Kenya. So I was glad the meeting actually happened and Mr. Chege heard us out and I called it a day. However, the next morning just when I got to school someone met up with me (I think it was Gichora) before I got to class to give me the news, "Ooooooooooh! You're in TRABOWL! Big Trouble!" Haha it's always exciting to start the day with a little drama lol. So I got to class and everyone told me the news. I was surprised to hear that Mr. Chege went and told the principal that we had started a strike and me and the people who spoke during the meeting ("the strike") were the ring leaders haha. So that morning we, "the ring-leaders" got called into the deputy principle's office, Mr. Owino. He asked us some questions then he told us about "The Black Book" where the names of the trouble-makers in school were written down. After giving us warnings he let us go back to class. Later we were told that the principal, Mrs. Gathiri, was coming to talk with the whole class. It was more like a lecture because she wasn't interested in hearing our side of the story. So turns out Mr. Chege twisted our words when he was taking down his notes. For example when Val was talking about favoritism when it came to punishment she said, "Some people are beaten like lambs and others like dogs." But Mr. Chege wrote that "We are beaten like dogs"and that's what was presented to the principal. So she told us that she could expell us but she'll just give us a warning instead. So after that eventful day, right before I went home we decided to go apologise to Mr. Chege, we had good intentions but he definitely took everything the wrong way so we went to talk to him. Then it's funny what he told us. He said that he felt like we were attacking him, "we had faces of lions" and he was scared for his life! {really? I was surprised!} And that's not all, he said that he saw it coming... He told us had been watching me and the Bible study we had started (I talked about in the post: Spirit of prophecy) and he knew from then on that trouble was brewing up. {-_-} I didn't have words for him so we just apologized because we didn't mean to make him feel that way and then we left it at that.
So we planned it out. We had a free lesson- I can't remember if it was that same day or another day- so I went to his office and asked him if we could have another meeting with him then because we wanted to talk about some problems we saw in the school and he was like "Sure!" I was happy because things were going according to plan so far. So during that free lesson he came and sat down and told us to take the floor and tell him the problems we saw. This is where things didn't go as planned, not everyone who had talked about problems went up to share like, people backed out. So the only people who ended up speaking was me, Vallerie and who else? Sheila Mutiga? Judy? I can't remember... And during this time Mr. Chege was taking down notes. He said that he would present them to the principal and see if they could make some changes and implement the solutions we had suggested. So at the end of the meeting, like we had planned, we sung the song ♫ Simama watu wote! [Stand up everybody!] Say yes for the Children! Sema ndio kwa watoto And make the world a better place ♫ which was a song sponsored by UNICEF in support of children's rights in Kenya. So I was glad the meeting actually happened and Mr. Chege heard us out and I called it a day. However, the next morning just when I got to school someone met up with me (I think it was Gichora) before I got to class to give me the news, "Ooooooooooh! You're in TRABOWL! Big Trouble!" Haha it's always exciting to start the day with a little drama lol. So I got to class and everyone told me the news. I was surprised to hear that Mr. Chege went and told the principal that we had started a strike and me and the people who spoke during the meeting ("the strike") were the ring leaders haha. So that morning we, "the ring-leaders" got called into the deputy principle's office, Mr. Owino. He asked us some questions then he told us about "The Black Book" where the names of the trouble-makers in school were written down. After giving us warnings he let us go back to class. Later we were told that the principal, Mrs. Gathiri, was coming to talk with the whole class. It was more like a lecture because she wasn't interested in hearing our side of the story. So turns out Mr. Chege twisted our words when he was taking down his notes. For example when Val was talking about favoritism when it came to punishment she said, "Some people are beaten like lambs and others like dogs." But Mr. Chege wrote that "We are beaten like dogs"and that's what was presented to the principal. So she told us that she could expell us but she'll just give us a warning instead. So after that eventful day, right before I went home we decided to go apologise to Mr. Chege, we had good intentions but he definitely took everything the wrong way so we went to talk to him. Then it's funny what he told us. He said that he felt like we were attacking him, "we had faces of lions" and he was scared for his life! {really? I was surprised!} And that's not all, he said that he saw it coming... He told us had been watching me and the Bible study we had started (I talked about in the post: Spirit of prophecy) and he knew from then on that trouble was brewing up. {-_-} I didn't have words for him so we just apologized because we didn't mean to make him feel that way and then we left it at that.
Point of the story: So yeah, through that memory God was reminding me who I am, an advocate. And I could see similarities between what happened then and what's going on now with InterVarsity and in advocacy in general. It's easy for people to rant about problems and just leave it at that. But I don't like just talking about problems, yes it's okay to talk about them when bringing them up for the first time but after that I like to actually do something about it. So with InterVarsity, we would talk about problems but that's the most that people wanted to do so it turned into the aimless talk I mentioned in the Restoration post and told people we should stop that. Another similarity I saw was: even though I was just exposing systems of oppression because I care about the oppressed and I wanted everyone else to see them too, the people in authority took it personally (like a personal attack agaisnt them) and when they did that they got defensive and no changes were made hence the oppressed remain oppressed by the systems in place.
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ADVOCACY: More Confirmation
First, through my interactions with Staff... Sometimes I would bring up some issues that the fellowship was facing and then the Staff would talk to some other people in the fellowship about it and they would tell them there was no problem. That's when I noticed what was going on... In Marissa's dream, God showed her that there was division in the fellowship: One group that was having a great time and another that was suffering silently in the background. So I realized that either the Staff and I were talking to different groups of people (they were talking to the group that was having a great time) and/or if they did speak to some people in the suffering group they were either too scared or too complacent/perseverant with their suffering to be open about it. So yeah I realized that most times I was speaking on behalf of the minority, the suffering group.
Third, during Winter InterVarsity's theme for Common Ground (their large group meeting) was Identity. Rici, an African American and her white husband (forgot his name) were the speakers at the last CG of the quarter I think and their topic was racial reconciliation. Everything they said really resonated with me and gave me confirmation for what God was teaching me. They mentioned how some students from minority groups are struggling on the margin. They brought up advocacy. They said that a way we could help such students is not by trying to be their super-hero to save them (assuming we know everything and what's best for them) but by displacing ourselves, asking questions and going alongside them -> solidarity. At the end of the talk they opened it up to questions and people asked about advocacy and how to put it in practice in UCSB. Then they repeated what they said in their talk. People wanted to apply this message with their classmates which was great but it's always best to begin at home. You see the people she was describing who were "struggling on the margin" were within our own fellowship. I felt like she was describing me and some other people I talked to later felt the same way. So to be a good advocate you have to witness first -notice who's suffering around you- then take action. Rici also said that the journey to racial reconcilation is rough and most times people want the end (a racially reconciled community) but not the means (they don't want to go through what's necessary to get there). Displacing yourself was one of the applications she gave (I talked about the necessity of this in the "Lost sheep" section of Awakening post. Lessons I learnt through the Word, my Underserved medicine class, and my personal failures and struggles lol) and another thing Rici said was, "It's about time to share your uncensored self with the rest of the fellowship, they can handle it." I brought this up in the post: Spirit of Unity.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Spring Quarter ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
So Spring was application time. Well Winter was meant to be application time but I failed miserably :( Why? In the previous post I described the mountain-valley effect and in The Present post I likened it to Peter walking on water. When he looked at Jesus he walked on water but when he looked at the waves of the stormy sea he started to sink. So in my case what were the waves that were making me sink? How I was interacting with Staff. I'll come back to that...
Tangent: Like I said before, to be a good advocate you have to witness- you have to notice those who are suffering in order to defend them. So the best advocates are usually those who were once the oppressed because they know exactly how the oppressed feel. God offers us freedom not just for ourselves but also so that we can share it with others (It is for freedom that Christ has set us free). But the devil likes to prey upon the advocate's weaknesses to get them back into his oppression in a bid to prevent them from spreading the freedom.... So in the Winter, I was really dissatisfied with the state of my relationships (with God and others): shallow; so I felt the need to withdraw from the routine to seek first things first (post: Remember). I was being called out of Martha-ness into Mary-ness lol (post: Rest). So I sought God. I wanted intimacy, to remember His Love, His identity as my Father and my identity in Him. But right when I finally started to find myself in Him again, the waves would rise, I would look at them then start to sink then I'd be back at square one and this cycled continued through Winter Quarter. In the Spring I was tired of that dumb cycle and I wanted to get it right so God showed me what was going on (spiritual warfare), what I was doing wrong (I was not fighting so I was falling for the devil's schemes and getting beat up. And I had conformed so much to the culture of the world) and what I needed to do to get out of that cycle ( to look at Jesus [not the world], to remember who I am and to be myself).
What Would Jesus Do?
So God showed me that I was walking through the valley with darkness all around me and the devil, through various schemes, was trying his best to keep me from finding my identity in God, resting in His Love and walking in freedom. And I noticed a pattern, each time I was finally resting in God's love and peace, Staff would always want me to meet up with them. I didn't want to because those meetings would drain my joy and peace because we would always talk about problems and discuss solutions that would end up not being applied which then produced more problems and more meetings... but I would still agree to meet up with them because I was putting them before myself. But after the meetings, I would be drained and then I would go to complain to God. So in the Spring that's when He told me that they way I was putting staff before myself was unhealthy, I was falling for the devil's schemes to steal my joy and peace which God was restoring to me and it was also unhealthy for staff because they would think that meeting up to talk was reconciling while the actual solution was the application that was being avoided (displacement) so we were wasting each other's time and energy. Time that would have been spent applying the solutions. (InterVarsity, once again, the devil is the enemy and he worked his schemes to bring division in a bid to oppose God's plans. But God is fighting for us and He is bringing restoration! :) Just wanna make that clear. You already have the aerial view now I'm just sharing my story, my "uncensored self" as Rici said is necessary especially for those on the margin to do for there to be racial reconciliation. You see that's one way racial rec happens: when those are having a good time and/or comfortable witness (see and hear) those suffering on the margin + displace themselves to meet them in their reality => solidarity [Lost sheep section of awakening post]. K just wanted to to lay out my agenda since I'm always missunderstood. But yeah, this is for any of my facebook friends who want to learn from my experiences) So God told me if I wanted the cycle to stop, I had to do what Jesus did to his accusers/ interrogators. He either gave them the Word of God (ex. during Jesus' temptation by the devil in the desert) or Silence (ex. at Jesus' questioning by the High priest in Mark 14:16 and while on trial before pilate).__________________________________________________________________________
Choices: Silence/Word of God/ Desert wandering (cycle of oppression)?
I didn't want to choose silence because I knew staff would take it the wrong way so the only other option (because they kept wanting to meet up to continue that ruthless cycle-> fighting like the world does; a lose-lose situation) was to give them the Word of God. The Word God kept giving me to give them was not the sweetest medicine to swallow that's why I had been avoiding giving it to them and tried focussing on applying the solutions because I wanted to protect their feelings. But God showed me that as an advocate you have to pick a side: the oppressed or the side of the oppressors/apathetic/complacent/happy group. And if the side you pick is not the side of the oppressed then you are actually contributing to the problem. So yeah, the devil kept us distracted with meetings (just talking) while the application was avoided and so the oppressed remained oppressed. I remember that night I sent that email to Staff (post: Let My people go) I was sad it came to that since the solutions were ignored - I cried because I knew how it would be received- but I wanted the cycle to end so I took God's Word for it. After I sent it God filled me with His peace, joy and hope which is some of the stuff I was yearning for that the devil had stolen from me with his tactics. I finally fought back like Jesus did (spiritual warfare) and like God had told me to from the beginning and it brought such freedom, like a weight lifted off my shoulders (peace amidst a storm) =) And I realized that's all I needed to do, listen to God and obey Him because He is the giver of true peace and when He sends you He goes with you. All I needed to do is fix my eyes on Jesus and follow Him (walk by Faith/walk by the Spirit) because He is the One who gives me my identity I don't need approval/permission to be myself from the world (post: Free to Be! Free to Fly!). Also being an advocate means you won't always be understood or liked but Jesus wasn't always understood or liked by everyone so don't worry you're in good company. ♫ I'll sit on the sidelines as long as He's sitting with me ♫ (post: King Like Mine). Aside:Yeah I said I'm sharing my story but I'll also try to clarify somethings. I said giving staff the Word God gave me to give them was spiritual warfare and I also said that God is fighting for all of us. So what God's Word does is it gets to the point. "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." [Hebrews 4:12] We fell for the devil's schemes. The devil is against all of us. He drove us into the merciless futile cycle I described which left the oppressed oppressed, and oppressed the advocates and also made weary the staff. So God's Word shed light to the devil's schemes so that we could get out of that cycle and to simply love each other in truth and with actions (everyone=> solidarity with the oppressed).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hypocrisy Alert!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Let love be without hypocrisy... Romans 12:9-10
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But thus far, all I did was advocacy. I spoke of the things I witnessed concerning the oppressed but things didn't change. Then I would go to Common Ground and what I witnessed really troubled me :( It felt like the clip below. There was a focus on the future: leadership for the next year, summer mission trips, Urbana Conference. Asking God to provide. There's nothing wrong with praying for provision for the future what troubled me was what was missing, we were ignoring our present condition: the oppressed were still suffering silently in the background or had become "lost sheep" and they were still on my heart. It's also a matter of priority. “Does it make sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in the thing that lies before us today? How many momentous events in Scripture depended on one person’s seemingly small act of obedience! Rest assured: Do what God tells you to do now, and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next.” -Elisabeth Elliot, Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity. Also, after I sent that email to Staff, I went to Common Ground and I found out later that that's the day Josh was prevented from going in. I was hoping for change after that email but staff was avoiding me and didn't get back to me. The next Friday after that I still had hope so I went to Common Ground. Rich Sander spoke then gave a call to repentance and Sarah went up to encourage people to do so sincerely. Once again it was a weird feeling like in the clip below and I felt more troubled than before because we were still ignoring this: Matthew 5:23-24 I could have left right then but I waited till the end.
So I left right after it ended. I was really disturbed within me. What I witnessed and took part in was clearly hypocrisy. Something was totally off and distracted me from worshipping God. But ... was I the problem? Was it that I was just being judgemental and I'm the one who needed to change? I was meeting up with my friend Ashira at the prayer shed right after (she wanted to check out The Upper Room meeting) but I was still preoccupied with all those confusing thoughts running through my head. At the end of the meeting we all gathered around this one girl to lay hands and pray for her. Ashira was standing behind me and she lay her hand on me then she randomly told me, "I think I'll pray for you instead" lol. I didn't tell her any of the stuff that was troubling me but God really used her to speak into my situation. I was really touched... I was balling! She said something like, "I see strength. Strength. Strength. STRENGTH! ( yes there was lots of repetition and varying pitch lol)... Father is saying: You're on the right path. You're on the right path. You're on the right path... Don't look to the right or to the left. Just keep walking. You're on the right path... You're pregnant with something and it's going to be mighty, mighty, MIGHTY!" So yeah, it was really encouraging to hear that I was on the right path coz the devil likes to use the spirit of insecurity and self-pity to discourage me and distract me. But God was reminding me not to entertain such thoughts and to walk by Faith (by His Spirit and His Word) and not by sight. So yeah, I didn't go to Common Ground after that since God convicted me of hypocrisy.
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HOW TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM: BE SET APART
God told me in order to change the system you have to get out of it first. You always have to side with the oppressed and the outcasts. Once again, He told me to look at Jesus. Jesus could have been born a Pharisees then try to change the system while inside it but He didn't. He was born in an average family- his father Joseph was a carpenter. Yet He brought change from outside the system ->he sided with the oppressed and called out the Pharisees for maintaining their traditions that oppressed the poor and kept them from worshipping and then He died for them all (post: King Like Mine) And look at John the baptist, the guy who prepared the way for Him... He did the same thing! He went far away from the system... he went to the desert! lol Then the lovers of Truth heard the Truth and congregated. This is equivalent to the New Deal in the game we played at STIM. It was the best option since it was outside the oppressive system but most people didn't choose it because it was introduced later on in the game so they didn't trust it - it sounded too good to be true- and they had grown complacent with that old oppressive system which felt safe since most people were on it. So yeah, God was highlighting to be the need to be set apart. Also I was Daniel fasting and I was reading Daniel. The reason why he fasted in Daniel 1 was to set himself apart (he choose not to defile himself with the Babylonian culture). I also ran into this clip about Shadrack, Meshach and Abednego. Take a watch.Through the clip, God kept emphasizing that He was calling me to be set apart. He showed me how serious He was about being set apart because choosing not to was not only hypocrisy but also a form of idolatry! :o Choosing not to change a system that oppresses others (or just being part of that system) is actually bowing down to it kinda like the people did to the B.G.I in the clip and God hates that especially when it happens in His House of prayer. That's what made Jesus furious and turn tables in John 2:13-16. vs. 17: "His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.” So that's the thing that we missed in InterVarsity. Some people were advocates like me, we didn't like the systems of oppression in place and some of us were open about it. But things didn't change. So people were like, "Oh well, we need to love staff and put our differences aside for the sake of Common ground." So for the sake of appearing united we were actually putting on a show for God (hypocrisy =pretense). But God doesn't want a show. He doesn't want to see tolerance of injustice in the name of love. He sees everything and the disunity is plain in His sight even when we try to cover it up or forget it during InterVarsity events. He wants to see true unity. True worship. True love. This is how we feels about our upside down approach:
“I hate, I despise your religious festivals;
your assemblies are a stench to me.
Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them.
Though you bring choice fellowship offerings,
I will have no regard for them.
Away with the noise of your songs!
I will not listen to the music of your harps.
But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!"
(Amos 5: 21-24)
I know that's harsh but try looking at things from His perspective. He always takes the side of the oppressed. And He wants us all to do the same (solidarity with the oppressed). True worship. True love. Love is not selfish. Watch the videos I posted in the Who Cares post. They really convicted me. By the way, the videos I post usually reflect the tone of my messages. Just saying, since that has been confusing for some people. ♫ Lord give us a generation who says no to toleration. But rather chooses to be free, Oh God give us a new breed. Let me burn with Holy Love. Let my heart burn, Let it burn for You. ♫ Psalm 24: 3-6.
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PICK A SIDE: FOR THE OPPRESSED OR AGAINST THE OPPRESSED
So God kept giving me confirmation in different ways that I needed to be set apart and that when it came to advocacy there were two sides and I always had to side with the oppressed. One time I was at the family prayer meeting and the stuff I shared in the "What would Jesus do" section was on my mind (this is before I sent Staff that email) but I didn't ask prayer for that. Then at the end of the prayer we were just talking then I got a lot of confirmation from what Chris Taylor shared with us. He told us that he was reading 2 John and it was talking about showing no love to false teachers coz if you do you're endorsing them. So God emphasized to me that there are two groups the side of the oppressed and the side of the oppressors/apathetic/complacent and He told me that I was showing sympathy to the wrong group of people. I was showing sympathy to Staff (trying not to hurt their feelings with the Truth God gave me to share with them) and when that happened, the cycle I described at the beginning took place: the oppressed remained oppressed, the advocates became oppressed and hypocrites and the rest didn't benefit either coz God wasn't pleased by what He was seeing from His perspective. Here's the other confirmation (to be set apart and side with the oppressed) I got from His word and my classes.
"Watch out that you do not lose what we have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take them into your house or welcome them. Anyone who welcomes them shares in their wicked work." (2 John 1: 8-11) (Show no love to false teachers- Word from Chris Taylor)
Reader! are you with the man-stealers in sympathy and purpose, or on the side of their down-trodden victims? If with the former, then are you the foe of God and man. If with the latter, what are you prepared to do and dare in their behalf? Be faithful, be vigilant, be untiring in your efforts to break every yoke, and let the oppressed go free. Come what may—cost what it may—inscribe on the banner which you unfurl to the breeze, as your religious and political motto—”No Compromise with Slavery! No Union with Slaveholders!”~ William L. Garrison (May 1, 1845) (Source: Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave)
"You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." (James 4:4)
"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." (1 John 3:18)
"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks." (John 4:23)
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)
*Psalm 1:1-3* (About being set apart)
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."(Romans 12: 9-10)
♫ I feel the absence of love and it scares me. I feel responsible now that I have seen. 'Cause we all were born to live for more than this. So much more than this. So I want love like You love. Love like You love, I want to love others. The way that You love me. ♫
About Josh
I had updated the Who Cares post with this paragraph but I don't think anyone saw it so I've copied it here: "I'm really sad for Josh, how we have not cared for him- we did nothing and said nothing- we stuck to the routine while blindly following staff's lead. Josh was isolated from community which just makes his depression worse. He is really suffering and we are helping him suffer instead of fighting for him in prayer and fasting. I'm really sad that that was his last experience as a UCSB student. What I was describing in my introduction was about Josh. God really broke my heart for him. I was sad that people were celebrating the last common ground and senior banquet which Josh was excluded from. I have been hoping and praying that staff open their eyes and reconcile but they never initiated even when I called them out as God led me to, they just ignored me. But selfishly (because I did not want to deal with the strong emotions I was feeling) I let myself sink into apathy and did nothing and said nothing. I really wanted to hold a prayer meeting for Josh but I was discouraged by all the drama and the sides that were forming (for staff or against staff). I invited people for dinner at my house one day during finals week. Many people came and ate. I shared with people about what God told me about the earthquakes and stuff just to prepare people but that was probably a wrong move coz people thought I was crazy and left right after and didn't stay for prayer and worship. Yeah I wanted to see people before summer and to practice hospitality but I also wanted us to pray for Josh and each other and to worship. I guess I was trying to do too much at once...but there's a lot you guys haven't been prepared for...sigh... Please pray for Josh's freedom and let us repent from our hypocrisy- yes all of us."Friends, I just want us to love each other in truth. Everyone to see each other and love each other. That's all. (post: Rooted in Love. That's my prayer for us :) I deleted the last section since this post is too long. It was more of my experience of the quarter (being a misfit, a StinkBug) but if you're interested in reading it let me know. If anything is unclear to you so far that may help so yeah just let me know and I'll send it to you (or better yet, let's meet up and talk like friends!)
Thank God for His Love! ♫THE LOVE OF GOD CAN HEAL THE LOVE OF GOD FORGIVES THE LOVE OF GOD RESTORES, THINGS WE HAVE BROKEN THE LOVE OF GOD PROTECTS THE LOVE OF GOD REMAINS FAITHFUL THROUGH LIFE AND ALL WE ENDURE ♫ HAHAHA! So there is HOPE =) Lord, help us abide in Your Love. In Jesus' name, Amen.
"May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." (2 Corinthians 13:14) =)
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Get ready for The Revolution
♫Do you want a Revolution? (woop! woop!) Do you want a Revolution? (woop! woop!) Sick and tired of __________? The solution? A REVOLUTION... Get ready for The Revolution...Revolution's comin', yes it's comin', revolution's comin', comin'! ♫ :D More details to come! To get an idea you can check out these posts: REAL Identity and The Kingdoms. Peace! :)
But with the information I've shared thus far. What are you going to do about it? Here's the voice of the oppressed: This is how Josh felt: "I have appreciated your repeated invitations. I have consistently had a reason why I was unable to make it, but even if I didn't, honestly, I would turn down the offer. I am too hurt to be around InterVarsity people, and I am assuming there will be a few of those at your house. Their apathy and indifference at my pain - inflicted on their behalf - hurts me deeply every time I am reminded of InterVarsity. They preach justice, they practice apathy. They re-brand their cowardice as something 'admirable', like 'staying out of it.' It hurts me, and it really disappoints me. I thought IV was better than this. I thought my friends were, well, friends. Turns out no."
Are you just going to tell Josh, "Sorry about that. You should forgive your oppressors" and then go back to your InterVarsity routine? Yes he should forgive no matter what. But what it's hypocritical to tell him sorry for something that you are still doing or rather, not doing. It's time for us to repent. I can relate with Josh's pain since I've experienced it myself. But my weaknesses are actually self-pity and false humility so it's easier for me to be comfortable with suffering, and it's easier for me to forgive. But like I shared before God told me He doesn't like that. He didn't set me free to be enslaved again. I've heard that one of InterVarsity's goal for the CSAME groups this year is to reach out to black students. Oh my God.... So this post is directed to the students in the fellowship. I already told Staff all this and they did nothing. So yeah if you guys (InterVarsity student leaders and non-leaders) sincerely want black students to be part of the fellowship, racial reconciliation and unity then it is time for you to STAND. Don't you care that Josh hurts? Don't you care that I hurt? Don't you care that there are people in the fellowship (maybe even you) that hurt? DO WE ACTUALLY CARE FOR EACH OTHER? DO WE REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER? ARE WE REAL FRIENDS??? DO WE CARE THAT GOD HURTS WHEN HE SEES THIS DISUNITY AND OPPRESSION???
Let me know when you're ready for action, for change. When you're ready for revival.
Let me know when you're ready for action, for change. When you're ready for revival.
What are you willing to do on behalf of freedom for those who are oppressed and marginalized? What are you going to do about the injustice and racism happening right in front of eyes in our own fellowship, InterVarsity??? Are you going to fear God or will you choose to fear man and the status quo? Are you going to love with actions and in truth? .... Are you ready for The Revolution? Let me know when you're ready coz I've been ready... I was born for this.
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