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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Neglected Art of Self-Care

"Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God."-Maya Angelou.

"Learning to listen to the body, to rest it and honor it as a place where God makes His presence known becomes, then, an important discipline for the spiritual pilgrim."-Ruth Haley Barton.

Listen. Reflect. Create.

 Looking back, this year been my most restless year... and the main reason why is clear... I stopped listening to myself... I stopped listening to God...how did that happen? Well I stopped writing for me. I stopped making time to self-reflect.


Rants: Writing has been a means to heal, to listen to myself and listen to God. I do it for me but I also share my writing coz I care about others and I don't want to benefit from it alone.  In my Remember post I said, "I choose to journal about it {my past} since writing is therapeutic for me and I choose to blog about it because it's the only way I can get myself to journal consistently since I'm not just doing it for myself, other people may also benefit from it." And it became such a natural response, an outlet for the flood of emotions I was experiencing, the many thoughts running through my mind and the tons of observations I was making. But it was mostly my brokenness that forced me to resort to writing... so I never really saw it as a strength... until I stopped. I gave in to the pressure to be normal, because the world said, "No one reads your blog. No one cares what you have to say." But not really the world but mostly the people I care about... I gave in out of a desperation to see change and sought more direct methods of communication. Long story short, after I gave up writing I received so much affirmation to write my stories, my reality, hopes and dreams, from the heroes who have walked before us. And through my many mistakes (stemming from not listening to myself) I've learnt that you can't work for seeing transformation in our world while rejecting yourself - coz transformation always happens from the inside out. So no matter what happens, I should stay committed to my own healing and existence through the methods that work for me (writing and creating) -expressing love for myself and others through being myself. Here are some quotes I encountered that affirm my identity, and writing as a form of existence:

"This (liberation) can be done only by means of the praxis: reflection and action upon the world in order to transform it." ~Paulo Freire, "Pedagogy of the Oppressed."

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." ~e.e. cummings.

“Why am I compelled to write? Because the writing saves me from this complacency I fear. Because I have no choice. Because I must keep the spirit of my revolt and myself alive. Because the world I create in the writing compensates for what the real world does not give me. By writing I put order in the world, give it a handle so I can grasp it. I write because life does not appease my appetites and hunger. I write to record what others erase when I speak, to rewrite the stories others have miswritten about me, about you. To become more intimate with myself and you. To discover myself, to preserve myself, to make myself, to achieve self-autonomy. To dispell the myths that I am a mad prophet or a poor suffering soul. To convince myself that I am worthy and that what I have to say is not a pile of shit. To show that I can and that I will write, never mind their admonitions to the contrary. And I will write about the unmentionables, never mind the outraged gasp of the censor and the audience. Finally I write because I’m scared of writing but I’m more scared of not writing.” — Gloria AnzaldĂșa “Speaking in Tongues: A Letter to 3rd World Women Writers,” from This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color, 2nd ed. (Latham, NY: Kitchen Table, Women of Color Press, 1983), pp. 168-9.
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SELF-CARE / SPIRITUALITY : TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! 

The theme of the Women of Color Conference this year was: "Nourishment before Action, Action before Change." I went to the first workshop session: "Redefining and reconsidering spirituality as a means of healing" and the facilitators asked us why we were there and what spirituality means to us. I can't remember what exactly I said but I remember linking spirituality with self-care... Self-care is taking care of yourself... your whole person... including taking care of your spirit. I shared that for me spirituality was having an awareness of how I'm really doing (my state of being), an awareness of God (the state of my being reveals to me my relationship with the Creator coz He is my source of peace, love, joy and Hope...) and an awareness of others. That reminds me of this verses from the Let Go. Let Love Flow post: Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 23: 37-40)

K let's now jump to the self-care tips:

1. Write- I already went over why writing is important to me. There's lots of noise and so many other voices out there so just sitting in silence or processing with other people and taking to their advice isn't always helpful for me. So a way of quieting myself down to hear my inner voice, even the voice of God is through writing. Also, I've seen that it's important to self-reflect to keep myself accountable to what I'm learning so that I don't make the same mistakes, for growth and for healing. So yeah, I do encourage you all and especially myself, to write consistently. Related post: Stories.

2. Check your sleeping schedule- I tend to be restless and depressed if I'm not taking care of myself. And something I need to check is the number of hours of sleep I get but especially what time I wake up in the morning... I've realized that if I sleep early and wake up early I am more refreshed and have some time to meditate in God's word (how God sees me and His promises over my life) which affects my whole outlook on life, how I start my morning and how the rest of the day unfolds. My sleeping schedule has been terrible this year and that explains a lot :/

3. HYDRATE- Water is life. Your brain cells and every other cell in your body needs water to function properly so if your not drinking enough water then that can affect your thinking, your mood and health in general. 4. Eating a healthy, balanced meal is always recommended as well as cutting down on too much junk food.

5. MUSIC-- Music's a big one for me... music is how I fight all the lies and negativity that tries to fill my mind. Listening to music or singing a song of praise to God, calms me down and gives me hope, it reminds me that I'm never alone. God is always with me so I never have to be afraid of the unknown, all my fears and worries I can give to Him, all my questions, curiosities and thirsts He can fill. So yeah music reminds me of the Real Reality... so I definitely need to surround myself with Truth, Love, Hope, music. Identity music. Music for my soul.

6. "Quiet time" -make time for you / Learn to say NO- Community is great. Healing can be done and
needs to be done in community... but it's still important to prioritize self-care.... coz when I don't (prioritize self-care) even when I'm in community I may not be mentally checked in so lack of self-care also affects my relationships with others (coz I'd be too preoccupied with my own issues). But yeah that doesn't mean we have to wait to be perfect to be in community... yes I agree that community is imperative for healing to take place and we need to learn to reach out for the help of others... but sometimes it takes your own self-care to get you to that point of reaching out. I also agree, from my own experience that sometimes I isolate myself to work on me first but those are the times I need to be in community and I'm in fact slowing down the healing process by isolating myself. So it all comes down to balance -making time for yourself and that may take learning to say no to some things / people. I can't be a yes girl trying to please everyone coz that always brings failure and burn out... the only One I want to please is God and He likes it if I'm taking care of myself coz that means I'm letting Him take care of Me =) So yeah it is important to make time to reflect, to relax, to read/watch something for your own relaxation and nourishment. It is important to refresh ourselves to avoid burn out or being stuck in half-hearted routines and living like a robot.

7. Community /Outdoors - Community is super-important, nobody with whatever personality was made to be an island we all need community- friendship, love and support. So a self-care tip especially for those who struggle with depression like I do, is to get out of the room... wake up early, get ready, if you have work to do take it with you to a communal space like the SRB or Ucen or somewhere outdoors - the beauty of nature usually helps me maintain a positive attitude -- for me creation reminds me of the Creator and His presence with me wherever I go and in whatever I am doing. Following those tips usually increase my productivity and just uplifts my overall attitude... Also, like I mentioned before, healing has to happen in community... coz we are communal beings,... healing won't be complete until it happens in community, restoration has to happen in community... so what I've seen this year is that God was leading me to spaces where I felt safe, safe enough to be vulnerable, and safe enough to expose my brokenness without being judged, and where the unveiling of my brokenness would be met with affirmation, love and support... but yeah those are the spaces I didn't take advantage of coz I was busy either fighting to make other places my home or I was isolated and depressed which both kept me from seeing what was right in front of me... and when I made this discovery (where I was actually meant to be) I'd feel ashamed that I hadn't been there all along, and then the cycle continued. But yeah, honesty with myself and others is what's needed to break those cycles coz we all need somebody to lean on :-) Oh yeah, and join clubs/ organizations that work towards the same things you are passionate about. Surround yourself with people going and growing in the same direction of life as you, and it's okay to let go of those who aren't coz they may drag you behind with them. Yes I learnt all that through mostly through my mistakes this year.
8. CREATE- Make something, draw, paint, take pictures, make a video... tap into your artsy and craftsy
side and you'll discover a well-spring of life even in the midst of a desert season. The arts can be used to tell our stories which is empowering... and what's even more powerful than retelling our realities is the fact that we can create the world we envision, a whole new world, all our hopes and dreams, through speaking it forth, drawing it forth, dancing it out... we can sing out the Freedom we want to see, Hope we want to hear, and the Life we want to live. Try it out: paint, write a poem, take pictures, and then share it with the world. And it makes sense that creating makes me feel closer to the Creator, and also gives Him an avenue to create through me, to feel His heartbeat. Though our world is filled with darkness and misery, God gave us the power, this light of creativity dwelling within us, and as we claim it and use it we transform not only ourselves but also our world. God is so good! =)
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Summary: BE YOU! You are enough. --The world likes to tell me otherwise so just recalling this truth: I am beautifully and uniquely made by God and it's totally okay to be exactly who He created me to be is freeing. But yeah there's lots of distactions and discouragements in this world that's why I need to apply these tips to make sure I keep listening to myself, keep listening to my God, keep being true to my heart. And reaching out when I do need help. So help me God =)

I love these songs, these images and these Scripture; love and affirmations from my Creator <3 =) 

"Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God"? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to Him who has no might He increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:27-31)



"But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me; my Lord has forgotten me.”“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me."(Isaiah 49:14-16) 

For thus says the LORD, "Behold, I extend peace to her like a river, And the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; And you will be nursed, you will be carried on the hip and fondled on the knees. "As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; And you will be comforted in Jerusalem."Then you will see this, and your heart will be glad, And your bones will flourish like the new grass"(Isaiah 66: 12-14)



"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."(Isaiah 41:10)

Related posts: Wait!, Be Still and Know , I have a Father! Peace! =)