Jamhuri Day

#late #JamhuriDayPost (12/12/13, Kenya's Independence Day) #YearofJubilee ♫ This is a NEW Sound coming from the underground! ♫

{Would have sounded better when it was fresh off the press... I had written all this then hesitated to press 'post' coz I still haven't shared the background to get everyone else on the same page (sorry!) :/ In that moment of hesitancy safari was like, "i quit!" >.< so yeah I'm re-writing this and you know how fun that is! That's what you get when you doubt yourself :P (Always Save your work!! Salvation is necessary!) oh well, there's Grace... so here's the shortened version lol}

On Jamhuri Eve, I was re-watching Sarafina! for my paper then when the song, ♫ Freedom is Coming Tomorrow! ♫ was playing I looked at the date and that's when I realized it was Jamhuri Day the next day and it was already Jamhuri Day in Kenya {Freedom is coming. Freedom has come.}

HAPPY JAMHURI DAY KENYA!!! :D HAPPY YEAR OF JUBILEE!!! :D :D :D
"This fiftieth year is sacred—it is a time of Freedom and of Celebration when everyone will receive back their original property, and slaves will return home to their families. " (Leviticus 25:10)

*** IT'S TIME! A Tribute to my Country***

To begin with I want to the thank the Almighty Creator for choosing to birth me into the earth on the Eastern side of the great continent of Afrika. I wouldn't trade my experiences growing up there for Nothing! Kenya, there's something special about you, so special you're about to be Thrust Forth! to share it with the world and also the world will come flocking to you #Isaiah60. Some people call you "the origin of mankind" and uhhh... speaking of origins I like all the New things I see popping up on my newsfeed and in the media! all your current feats - friends of mine and other Kenyans - You're so innovative and versatile! So proud of you! Najivunia kuwa mKenya! :D On the morning of Jamhuri day youtube recommended to me Jake Hamilton's "New Song" and I dedicate it especially to you Kenya, take a listen -though it's nothing new to you - you've been singing it ever since I can remember but more intensely now than ever. A Strong song of PEACE,  LOVE and UNITY throughout the land, amongst the different tribes and peoples and creating a greater sense of unity with other African countries and also internationally through education, music and collaboration. I just love that powerful prayer of a National Anthem you have and your beautiful flag loaded with symbolism. Gotta lay the right foundations for greatness to be achieved.

When Uhuru ("Freedom") Kenyatta (Google thinks means, "Musician") was sworn in as president it made me think, "Hmmm, *full circle*- Like founding father, like son." It reminded me of the scene in The Lion King when Simba ("lion") finally took his place on Pride Rock like his father, Mufasa ("King") always wanted him to, reclaiming his crown and beginning the work of Fighting for JUSTICE, Restoring PEACE and REBUILDING the Kingdom of LIGHT. My hope is not in Uhuru, though but in the returning KING of Kings. 

I'm in love with how PROACTIVE your YOUTH are. How they continously and effectively ORGANIZE against a really strategic target - against the POWERS AND PRINCIPALITIES OF THIS DARK WORLD! Using their God-given WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION to aggressively and mercilessly change the culture from the stance of authority and destiny! Boldly, passionately and creatively filling the atmosphere with the sound of MUSIC, painting a picture of the coming Kingdom, spreading Life and Love through dance and the arts {Concerts, plays, dance offs and dance parties to beautiful-sounding, heart-awakening, head-nodding, foot-stomping, body-shaking Truth Music, Keshas (fun worship and prayer all-nighters! Who does that? Kenyans! The Holy Ghost party don't stop! Turn down for What?! Haha} No we don't fight like bind mice, big picture tunayo! "The way we lead our lives; in freedom, openness, unity and consideration for each other represents our victory over all those who wish us ill. We are as brave and invincible as the lions on our Coat of Arms." - Uhuru Kenyatta. #WeAreOne.

Our neighbor, Ethiopia was wise to tap into that same arsenal, learning from the greats like King Jehoshephat #2Chronicles20 and by imitating such advanced level strategies overpowering the looming colonists and becoming the Only African country not to be colonized. And Kenya, though you were colonized, your prophets so it coming and they told you the power of the colonizers is in their education... and so the most effective resistance efforts would be through education. #MugoKibiru #Daniel1:4

I like how your primary schools are not spoon-feeding cafeterias but training grounds where your young intellectuals are challenged to think critically, equipped with a sense of identity and connectedness, and trained to use their weapons of spiritual warfare. Though I don't thinking taking music and the arts out of the curriculum was a smart move, hope that changed/changes. (Thank you Nairobi Pentecostal Church Academy for "Educating the whole person" and producing Revolutionaries lol) I'm a grateful for my experience at a boarding school, State House Girls High School which prepared me to tackle my next stage of life.

So what are you waiting for? Get on the Front line and PREPARE THE WAY for the Lion of Judah!! ♫ Ebu jitokeze, jionyeshe, simama mbele ya watu! ♫ Whip out your sWords (The Word Himself, your pens, your paintbrush, your camera, your clay)... Put on all your war clothes coz VICTORY is nigh! It's Ours for the TAKING! You also have to wait for it though... yeah you're about to be equipped with more POWER from on high then you'll be sent out with earth-shaking intensity and you will do greater things than this world has ever seen. RISE UP! #Exodus14:16


“...Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities... For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth..." <3 Isaiah 54 <3 #HappyYearofJUBILEE!! :D :D :D


♫Worshipping Warriors ARISE!! "The vision is an ARMY of young people"

This is the New Song, Rising from the underground!... The vision is Jesus, obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus, the vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army.... They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations, they need no passport. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence. They are free, yet they are slaves to the hurting, dirty and dying. (What is the vision?)...The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure... It loves people... this is an army that will lay down its life for the cause. A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose, that they might one day win the great “Well done faithful sons and daughters!”... And this is the sound of the underground, the whisper of history in the making, foundations shaking, revolutionaries dreaming once again, mystery esteeming and whispers conspiracy is breathing, this is the sound of the underground. And the army is disciplined: young people who beat their bodies into submission. Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts “For me to live is Christ, and die is gain.” Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes.  Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them? Can hormones hold them back? Can failures succeed? Can fear scare them? Or death kill them?...Waiting. Watching 24/7, 365. Whatever it takes, they will give; breaking the rules, shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide, laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs. Laughing at labels, fasting essentials, the advertisers cannot mold them. Hollywood can not hold them. Peer pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at laid back parties before the cock crow cries; they are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside: they hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate, but never to hide. When they surrender their image or their popularity, they would lay down their very lives, swap seats with the man on death row, guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair, with blood sweat and many tears, sleepless nights and fruitless days. They pray as if it all depends on God and they live as if it all depends on them. Their DNA chooses Jesus, He breathes out, they breath in. Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their word makes demons scream in shopping centers. Don’t you hear them coming? “Herald the weirdos, summon the losers and the freaks”: “Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.” They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow and mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of Heaven, and invoke the ancient dream of Eden. And this vision will be, it will come to pass. It will come easily and it will come soon. How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is His today, my distant hope is His 3D and my feeble whispered faithless prayer invokes a thunderous resounding bone shaking great AMEN from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ Himself. He is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner, guaranteed...

CommUNITY

Art work titled, "Spirit of Unity" 

"You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour, now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.  And there are things to be considered . . .

Where are you living?
What are you doing?
 What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader."

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, "This could be a good time!"

    "There is a river flowing now very fast.  It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.  They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are torn apart and will suffer greatly.

"Know the river has its destination.  The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above water.   And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate.  At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, Least of all ourselves.  For the moment that we do,  our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt. 

    "The time for the lone wolf is over.  Gather yourselves!  Banish the word struggle from you attitude and your vocabulary.  All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. 

    "We are the ones we've been waiting for."

-- attributed to an unnamed Hopi elder
Hopi Nation
Oraibi, Arizona

I have a lot of words still unspoken... but I guess until I find the strength and time... mostly just stillness (it's hard to catch you up on the past while trying to live in the present and advance into the future) to write them down I guess I'll just let others speak for me and to me.

NEW ERA!

Dare to Dream and Learn to Fly! =)

♫ Close your eyes and visualize. Nothing is impossible for those who try. Just dream to fly as eagles fly across the sky. I know We Can... See the rainbow around us all. Hear the angels when they call. Find a way to reach inside. Just dare to dream and walk with pride. Oh and we'll Rise Up Together we'll go Higher! Find such to make it through the fire. Just dare to dream, I know We Can Do Anything!... Stand Together side by side...♫- John Legend, "Dare to Dream"
Promise-Holly's story and visions.

*PROMISED LAND*

*REVOLUTION*

*UNITY*

*IT'S TIME!*

*PREPARE FOR GLORY!*

(Main part: Application portion at the bottom)


Hey Everyone =) This is an update of the RISE OF AN EMPIRE post. Towards the end of Spring quarter God spoke to me through the 300 (Rise of an Empire) trailer and I shared what I saw concerning this new season in that post. And after that I kept getting more and more confirmation and I can see some things already unfolding which is what I want to share in this post. So let's begin! =D

"It begins as a Whisper, a Promise"

In the summer, the last Sunday of IV Church Holly shared the message in the video below. Take a listen! Let me highlight this one part: "He gave me a heart, a burden for the people in this city... I really wanted to see God move in this city... Then He started giving me promises... I hear He was speaking so much to me about huge things! He was giving me all these verses about how Nothing is impossible with God. Just giving me all this Faith basically to see... I felt like He was promising me so many students coming to the LORD and revival breaking out in IV. I had a vision of like DP people worshipping Jesus instead of drinking and partying. Just massive things and I had so much faith for it and I was like Yeah! This is gonna happen. I hope everybody's ready for it! It's probably gonna happen this year..."

Holly is Pastor Jason's wife and she's been believing God for revival in IV since her first year in college! She's been faithfully stewarding that promise for all those years (I wanna point out that Marilyn, who shared in the counterfeit revival video I posted in the Rise of An Empire post, also has been stewarding that promise for a while now and I remember her saying that's what keeping her here). So back to Holly, year after year passed without seeing the promise but along with the promise for revival God had promised her a son, "Isaac" (which was also the title of her message). So each time she  was expectant she got excited but God was like "that's not Isaac" so she waited. God told her he was bringing her "Full Circle" in order for her to see the promise. So finally this past summer she announced that she was expecting her fifth child and this time God told her that it was Isaac and he's due in March She was excited to share that with us because it also meant that "It's Time", "A New Era" for the promise of revival to come to fruition! :D So I've highlighted some words in the paragraph above coz I wanna unpack them.:

• So in the Rise of Empire post there's a female commander and as you've noticed Holly and Marilyn are women warriors who have been stewarding this promised and have now released this word that it's time. And yeah God told me that He's raising up strong women generals in this hour. 
• "Full Circle"- Holly used those words and they stood out to me because that's a word that God had given me that summer. So for me he didn't tell me to wait for the promise. He told me to walk into it and it wasn't a simple walk, it requires courage, laying my life down in order to violently take hold of the promise. But I held back because I was waiting for unity (reconciliation) in the InterVarsity to happen first. But that summer was when I saw the whole picture when I looked back. God wanted to use me like a forerunner to start a fire just by sharing my heart and he put me though a journey where I encountered more groups of people in His body and in the campus but I didn't share the fire in my heart :(details about what happened in later posts). But yeah when I saw the whole picture I started to write an email to InterVarsity Staff and the title was "Full Circle" but I never sent it. It's still in my drafts. I facebooked Melissa though. 
• Isaac in the Bible is the son of the promise and the name means laughter. That implies it's time to reap. Those who sow in tears will reap in songs of joy! :D Also he is the fifth child. I'm the fifth child in my family and as I found out in this post that 5 is a number of Grace and this year is a new season marked by Grace. Also he is due in March 2014, in the Rise of Empire post I had highlighted that month because I felt there was a significance since the release date was moved from 2013 to 2014. And yeah, God was just showing me His grace for us this year. Unity and revival didn't happen last Hebrew year (school year falls within the Hebrew year) since the forerunners like me didn't do our job but he has extended grace to us this year. I feel like Isaiah 66: 7-13 is connected to March 2014 a birthing month. The RISE OF AN EMPIRE. 
• Oldies in IV (still)- I noticed that some people in the church, God had told them to stay an extra year (the 2012-2013 school year) and they were planning to leave after that but then God told them to stay for this year as well. People like Caralee, God brought her here and told her He was going to use her to unite the church but at the end of the school year He told her to stay for this year also why? He told her because she didn't do what He told her. The work is not yet done. I could also see some of the InterVarsity people who are still in IV after graduation. I wanted to tell them that there is so much more that God has planned for us this year! He wants us to bring in the harvest. Lead the multitudes to know Him just through unity in prayer and pursuing more of His Kingdom of power and Love =)
• This was Pastor Jason's status yesterday: "I had a dream last night that I was in Reinhard Bonke or Billy Graham's pool, ha ha. Halloween week this next weekend IV, c'mon Jesus!" Go to the bottom of the Rise of an empire post coz I had included a Word from Bonke, "And Now America."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FALL at UCSB

♫ I'm building My army now. I'm searching all around (for those in position). Never have you seen the things you'll see. Get ready for the GREATEST VICTORYYYYYY-YEAH! ♫ ("Are you ready?" by Beckah Shae)

So when I came back to SB this Fall I noticed a change in the atmosphere. During the week of welcome I heard that most of the christian groups had a lot of people coming to their events, more than in past years. Not just that I noticed that this hunger for change among those not in christian groups. I realized that many of the people I met and friends I made last year have leadership positions on campus this year. 

I went with Impact to the Black Scholars floor in Santa Rosa to do follow ups and Nadya commented that Impact was the first group that these students were getting exposed to, the message of the Gospel and christian community (The Black Student Union didn't have it's unity event - the first event till Oct 15th). Also FMLY band had it's show on Sept 28th, "It also just so happens to be the first weekend for IV to be back into its full swing with UCSB being back and all." So there's a post called Take the Land! that's still in my drafts but that's what I see happening a take over =)

Other things I took note of concerning this year: IV church is focussing on evangelism this year, Cru is focussing on unity -the theme of their Fall retreat was "Bonded in Love." The Destino Fall conference theme was Restore.The InterVarsity Ignite conference in the summer was titled, "Start Something New" and their Fall Conference this weekend is "Step out in Faith." The Impact conference in Atlanta is themed, "Break Free." All those may just be words to you but to me they are indicators that the church is finally ready to move forward together! And you know what that means!! :D

***InterVarsity Visions***

So at the Pre-Fall Leaders Retreat in 2011, the InterVarsity leaders had an unusual experience (read more in that post) and many people had many visions. I won't list all of them, but basically God was showing us the series of events leading up to the Great Revival that He promised us. So Paul Benthin, one of the InterVarsity staff, had a vision that there was going to be an earthquake in IV then revival would happen after that. So what's been keeping revival from happening? Well you see it starts with the church. Jeremy, the new Upper room pastor, shared his vision last week where God told him that the key to this city is the fear of the LORD. Seeing God on the throne and not just as Father but as King.

"if My people, who are called by My Name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." (2 Chronicles 7:14) I shared this verse at the retreat back in 2011 and someone else also shared it at IV Church yesterday.

So when people were sharing at IV church yesterday I was being reminded of the visions that still haven't taken place. 

1. Alex had a vision that we were on a hill holding hands (praying I think) and there was a cross at the center. And then he saw our non-christian friends coming up the hill and gathering around us (from a far he saw demons but when they came closer he realized that they were just our non-christian friends). What does that mean? Well right when I stepped on this campus this school year, and even before that, God was showing me signs that UCSB is ready, ready for unity and racial reconciliation and everyone is set on working towards that this year. He would surprise me with this visions when I wasn't even looking for them - pictures in the new planner and the arts and lectures magazine like some of the ones I've posted and more that I'll post on fb. These pictures are saying, "It's Time! We are ready!"so that's what the significance was of our non-christian friends walking up towards the top of the hill. But what's at the top of the hill? Jesus. He is at the center of the unified church. That's only way to achieve unity and racial reconciliation, through Him. That vision is a call for unity in the church. If we are being honest the church in SB is not united. We are not yet the Acts 2 church. But to get to Acts 2 we need to go through Acts 1=> A call to united prayer and waiting on God to be endowed with Power from on high.
2. Judith had a vision that we were marching down DP holding hands and she was holding hands with her friend from Real Life. This just shows unity in the body (different ministries working together) and together being a bold witness for Christ.
3. Storke Plaza -In the Fall 2011 the InterVarsity staff were hosting all the prayer meetings at Storke Plaza. I went to Paul's prayer meeting and he shared that Zach Morrissey who was a freshman that year had a vision during the previous prayer meeting. In the vision he saw the whole of  Storke Plaza really packed with people worshipping God. InterVarsity used to hold all their prayer meetings there. Also Cru usually does their worship nights there. Last year was the first unity worship night called With One Voice and about 100-150 people showed up. So yes that vision is a sign of revival happening in the school but let's think practically... I'm sure there's more than 150 Christians in this school... if all the Christians would come together and worship the King... I think that vision is a sign of revival in the church. People go to different conferences, concerts and events such as One Love in different areas and they expect God to do great things at those events. What are about right here and right now? Why can't the body of Christ come together, worship, pray and seek His face expecting great things? Christafari is coming this Saturday at 5pm to have a worship concert at Storke Plaza. Let's come together and worship the King =)

-

Application: Halloween Week

So this really is time for revival... and it's really up to us the church to walk into the promises and reap the harvest. So here are some practicals:

• Halloween Prayer Week - An opportunity for the body of Christ to unite in prayer. More info on the fb event: https://www.facebook.com/events/156560897888489/ There's gonna be 24/7 prayer this week so you can sign up by yourself or with a group. And whether or not you sign up just get together with people and pray for the Kingdom to come down. I signed up for Tuesday 4-6pm at the prayer shed come join me =)
• Prayer and worship. Let's pray and press in to God through worship and do it with expectation that He will show us His glory.
• United outreach: AACF is passing out water bottles in front of the Jesus Burgers house this Thursday. Jesus burgers will be running on Friday and Saturday and a team from Bethel will be coming down. More events from IV church in the picture below.
• Christafari Concert-  November 2nd at 5pm. This was meant to be a united outreach/ unity event for all christian groups by the newly formed (on paper) org called ONE Body but the group hasn't fully formed yet. Still need student representatives to be part of it. And yeah I need help this week in preparation for the concert. So please help. Let me know if you can. Thanks!
• It's time for us to be more involved with what's going on in the campus. You'll be surprised by the fire that's already there. Sorry for the lateness of this post also it's not my best work coz I'm really tired right now, just wanted to get this info out there. I gave you the happy version but there is MORE. Remember this is WAR! So I need to spit some FIRE! soon.

I see the King of Glory coming down the clouds with FIRE! The whole earth SHAKES!
I see a GENERATION RISING UP to take their place! With SELF-LESS FAITH!
I see a NEAR REVIVAL. Stirring as we PRAY and SEEK! We're on our knees!
HOSANNA in the HIGHEST! =)

__________________________________________________________________________

ZOE =)

My niece Zoey and I =)

Stumbled upon this piece online: "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have more abundantly." (John 10:10)

Note 5 at John 10:10: The thief mentioned here is specifically speaking of the thieves and robbers of John 10:8 who had claimed to be God's messengers but weren't. They were selfish (steal), cruel (kill), and destructive (destroy) in contrast to the true Shepherd who was selfless and kind and laid down His life for the sheep. This verse is still the "acid test" for discerning false messengers of God today as well as the demonic inspiration behind them. The devil steals, kills, and destroys, but God ministers the "ZOE" life note 6 at this verse.

Note 6 at John 10:10: The Greek word translated "life" here is ZOE, and it means "life in the absolute sense, life as God has it" (Vine's Expository Dictionary). Everyone who is breathing has life in the sense of physical existence, but only those who receive Jesus can experience life as God intended it to be. Jesus came not only to save people from the torment of eternal hell but also to give them this ZOE life, or God-kind of life, in abundance. The life of God is not awaiting people in heaven but is the present possession of all born-again believers in their spirits (John 5:24 and 1John 3:14). Believers can release this ZOE life and enjoy it now by losing their natural lives (Mt 16:24-25, Mr 8:34-37, and Lu 9:23-25) and finding this supernatural life. The way believers lose their lives is to deny any thoughts, emotions, or actions that are contrary to the Word of God, which is life (ZOE in Joh 6:63). When they line their thoughts, emotions, and actions up with the instructions of God's Word, then they'll find this ZOE life manifest in their bodies and souls as well (see note 53 at Mt 7:14).

♫ Bring me to LIFE. ♫

My niece Zoey is really lively, fun and spunky. Just like her name =) I haven't done any recent videos of her but in the one below she is: ♫ Bubbles, she is the joy and laughter ♫ haha :D Please pardon the intentional horrible singing lol.

Giants do FALL! :D

Giants do die! The bigger they are the harder they FALL! .... Let God ARISE, Giants DIE!!! =D

Only HOPE

"Only Hope"

[Written by Switchfoot]

There's a song that's inside of my soul

It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again

I'm awake in the infinite cold

But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands

and pray to be only Yours

I pray to be only Yours

I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars

Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing

and laughing again

When it feels like my dreams are so far

Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you're my only hope

I give You my destiny

I'm giving You all of me

I want Your symphony

Singing in all that I am

At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you're my only hope

LORD be my ALL!

Found this note saved on my laptop... one of the prayers I wrote to God a while back. 

THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!

JESUS THANK YOU !

THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE

FOR BEING GOOD TO ME EVEN WHEN i DON'T DESERVE IT

LORD DRAW ME CLOSE TO YOU

YOU SAID THAT I SHOULD DRAW NEAR TO YOU AND YOU WILL DRAW NEAR TO ME

LORD YOU PROMISED AND YOU CAN NEVER LIE

LORD AM DEDICATING THIS QUARTER TO YOU

WHERE IT'S NOT ABOUT ME BUT ALL ABOUT YOU

LORD COME BE THE CENTER OF MY LIFE

BE MY ALL

CAUSE I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

EVERYTHING I DO IS MEANINGLESS IF NOT FOR YOU

LORD TEACH ME YOUR WAYS

I KNOW THAT I STRAYED EVEN AFTER BEING CLOSE TO YOU BUT I ASK YOU TO FORGIVE ME

I AGREE THAT WE SHOULD REASON TOGETHER SO THAT THOUGH MY SINS ARE LIKE SCARLET THEY SHALL BE AS WHITE AS SNOW

CLEANSED BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS

THOUGH THEY ARE AS RED AS CRIMSON, THEY SHALL BE LIKE WOOL

LORD I AM WILLING

SEARCH MY HEART, TEST MY ANXIOUS THOUGHTS. SEE IF THERE'S ANY OFFENSIVE WAY IN ME, AND LEAD ME IN THE WAY EVERLASTING.

LORD TAKE THE BROKEN PIECES OF MY LIFE 

i SURRENDER ALL OF THEM TO YOU

AND CREATE THE MOSAIC OF MY FUTURE AS YOU WILL

USE IT ALL FOR YOUR GLORY

WAKE ME UP INSIDE

I WANT TO SEE YOU, OPEN MY EYES

LAST Holiday

My big sis Sheila in Kenya wrote to me on What'sApp asking how I was doing coz she had a dream about me.  I asked her about it and this is what she said: "Yvonne (another big sis) told me she was told you were in an accident and you died. So I kept thinking about it and I was very sad. I kept saying,"Yaani you are dead and the way you are young." Then I was wondering if you were right with God and if you went to heaven. And Yvonne was saying that she kept on telling you to do things as God would want you to."

 

My sister's dream was really convicting and it made me cry. It was the same conviction that was heavy on my heart after Spring quarter and after this summer session. It also reminded me of Queen Latifa's movie, LAST Holiday. You can check out the trailer above. She was living in a shell all her life, she had a "Book of possibilities" where she recorded pictures of all her dreams and desires for her life and future but she never did anything about it apart from dream until she was diagnosed with a brain tumor then she quit her job, sold her bonds and went off to live out her dreams. She told her friend, "Remember when you said life is too short to live the way I do... I quit." She quit on her old way of life: safe, not taking any risks, lonely, not satisfying. And she decided to live her life the way she always dreamed to. To her reflection in the mirror: "Next time we will laugh more, we'll love more. We just won't be so afraid." And when she did, she gave her all, had lots of fun and made many friends but she was sad that it was almost time to die but then she found out that she was actually misdiagnosed and so she had the second chance to keep the new life that she had begun.

I had watched this movie last Winter break and it was convicting and it also made me cry. This year (2013) I feel like God was setting me up to believe that it was my last time in SB so that I could give my all before I left. But what ended up happening was, when it came to relationships, I really wanted to   share my whole heart but then I wouldn't go all the way coz I'd be like, "Well what's the point. I'm about to leave soon anyway. What difference does it make." So I'd hold back then go back home and be filled with anguish and regret then God would open a door for me to come back and the cycle continued. The dream and the movie reminded me of these verses:

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12)

"Show me, LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is." (Psalm 39:4)

"I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done." (Psalm 118:17) I'll finish strong! I'll finish! By His Spirit! Lord help me yield my heart wholly and continually to You! =)

It's not time to dwell on the past. Now's the time to move forward trusting in God and resting in His Grace. It's time for me to step out, to be myself. It's time for us to PREPARE THE WAY FOR THE LORD!! =)  (post: "What's your name?") Take a listen to the song below... I know it's sung by kids but God really spoke to me through it. It was everything I needed to hear at the time.

  

(Got so many posts in my drafts from the summer and before that coz I stopped sharing but I'm back to sharing :)
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After I did this post I God was reminding me how much He loves me. He is not disappointed in me. He is not angry with me. He's not disappointed because His hope is not in me. He is Hope. Jesus Christ, the Hope of glory living inside me. So just to rest in His Love. There's no shame and no condemnation in Him. (post: No Shame)

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11/30/2013 I heard that Paul Walker died and people have been posting that all over fb as well. Reminded me about this post. God has been reminding me to do things His way coz it's the only way that counts in the end. He wants me to live out my destiny, not to shrink back not to hold back, not to be discouraged and distracted by the ways of life but to fix my eyes on Him and cling to Him and His Word more and more. So yeah, Lord, help me let go and flow with Your Spirit, in Jesus name Amen :)

Make it Real

So much craziness surrounding me

So much going on, it gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone, 

you bring it back to me

You make it real for me

When I'm not sure of my priorities
When I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be
Like holy water washing over me

You make it real for me

And I'm running to you, baby Jesus
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing You lately
Cause you make it real for me

When my head is strong but my heart is weak
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty
When I can't find the words
You teach my heart to speak
You make it real for me, yeah

And I'm running to you, baby Jesus
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

Everybody's talking in words I don't understand
You got to be the only one who knows just who I am
You're shining in the distance, I hope I can make it through
'Cause the only place that I want to be
Is right back home with You

I guess there's so much more I have to learn
But if you're here with me, I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere, somewhere I can run
You make it real for me

And I'm running to you, baby Jesus
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately
'Cause you make it real for me
Yes, you do, you make it real for me

{James Morrison - You Make It Real}

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“He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Blessed is the man who always fears the LORD, but he who hardens his heart 
falls into trouble.” (Proverbs 28:13-14)

My phone froze today (9/3/13) ... which made me aware of the condition of my heart... stone cold. frozen. I have been really rebellious this summer. Not listening to God. Not resting in Him. Not listening to my heart. Making me the lovely mess I am. God told me to follow my heart but it's hard to follow a heart that's been hardened. Hardened by mentalities of the past: everything I tried failed so why should I try again and I know (based on the past) that it will fail. It's hard to put my heart out there again even though I want to and plan to, it's easier to stay hidden behind defensive walls. But when I do hide I ache or I'm numbed into a depression which is worse because it immobilizes me. And I'm like: ♫ Sound the bugle now... play it just for me. As the seasons change... remember how I used to be. Now I can't go on...I can't even start. I've got nothing left... just an empty heart. I'm a soldier... wounded so I must give up the fight.There's nothing more for me... lead me away Or leave me lying here. ♫

♫ Then from on high, somewhere in the distance.There's a voice that calls, "Remember who you are... if you lose yourself, Your courage soon will follow, So be strong tonight... remember who you are" Yeah, your a soldier now,Fighting in a battle,To be free once more. Yeah, that's worth fighting for! ♫
   
"Cast away from you all your transgressions which you have committed and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit! For why will you die, O house of Israel? "For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone who dies," declares the Lord GOD. "Therefore, repent and live." (Ezekiel 18:31-32)

"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a NEW heart and put a NEW spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."(Ezekiel 36: 25-27) "Then the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Sovereign LORD, when I am proved holy through you before their eyes" (vs. 25-27)

UNITY! =)

Hey everyone =) sorry I haven't been blogging this summer so I'm really behind on sharing what God has been teaching me. So I saw the post below on a facebook group a while back and it was exciting to read and encouraging coz I had the idea of planning the "Dream of a King" unity worship event for this summer but I was discouraged by all my failures over the years. But yeah, God is really creating unity around the world which means global revival is about to happen soon!! Check out what was going on in Kenya:


Tr DanielThe Voice of Christian Youth Foundation

Exactly 1 month to the GLOBAL REVIVAL- KENYA CHAPTER event with the servant of God Apostle Mary Magdalene Wangui :

A date like of today next month, one of the biggest and most significant event to the body of Jesus Christ and nations of the world will be taking place here in Nairobi, Kenya at Uhuru Park grounds.

Preachers from different countries of the world will be gathered at Uhuru Park for the GLOBAL REVIVAL event. Local and international gospel artists will also be there, not to entertain but to praise the King of kings as they tap into the revival grace for their singing gifts.

From Africa we have preachers attending from South Africa, Ghana, Ethiopia, Nigeria, Congo, Malawi, Zambia, Cameroon, Rwanda, Burundi, Uganda, Tanzania, Mozambique, Botswana...The rest from Europe, America and Asia.

Continue praying with us for revival in the ongoing 90 days of global revival prayers that began on 1st June and concludes on 30th August with the gathering at Uhuru Park from 30th Aug. to 1st Sept. 2013. Pray for the event too!

If you would like to invest in this Global Revival event either materially or financially call us on the number below or email: apostle@thewillofGodchurch.net

If got any questions please call today: +254717 287782.‪#‎GlobalRevivalKE‬

Unlike ·  · Share · 5 minutes ago near Nairobi, Kenya · 

• You like this.

I was going to do this post after I read it but I was mostly busy, exhausted and overwhelmed this summer so I didn't. And then last week I found out about this ONE LOVE event that happened at USC on August 28th.

• 
  

I didn't go to the event but I heard it was really powerful! Check out the event page on facebook! =)

Tonight at 7pm in the MCC is "The Dream of a King" event. It's poorly planned. But God has brought me this far in spite of my failures and weaknesses. And I'm just standing on His Word and going ahead with the event. Please pray with me for breakthrough. I know I need it! Lord we want more of You! Baptize us with more of your Love. Spirit break out! Break our walls down! Spirit break out! Heaven come down! Amen. All the Glory goes to You Lord! Show us Your glory tonight! =)

(Oh yeah, and it's a New Year!! New Beginnings! Rosh Hashanah (head of the Jewish year holiday) was the past 3 days! Praise God for a Fresh Start and New Mercies!! He makes beautiful things out of us! =)

"Listen, a noise on the mountains,

    like that of a great multitude!

Listen, an uproar among the kingdoms,

    like nations massing together!

The Lord Almighty is mustering

    an army for war." (Isaiah 13: 4)

God is building His army now. Preparing us for war.  WE ARE His army. UNITED we stand! Check out my previous posts: UNITED, Be ONE, ONE New Man... and the rest about the importance of Unity! Let's do this!! #Acts1-2 :) What's the war we are being prepared to fight?... ohhh the battle is raging! More details to come! 

Walk by FAITH!

God has just been reminding me to:
1. Walk by faith not by sight- It's about trusting and obeying God. Not about seeing fruit and being affirmed by people... He is the Lord of the Harvest, not me. My job is to be faithful in following Him.
2. Take the Narrow Road- Seek Him with my whole heart. Let Him satisfy my thrist fully. Walking in the way of Love: Dying to myself in order to live fully (love deeply).
3. Fix my eyes on Jesus. Not to look to the right or the left. Not to be distracted by the waves.
4. Walk by the Spirit - Be obedient to His promptings and convictions.
4. Look forward. Look up. - Yes I have failed a lot- failed to obey Him/failed to love/ failed to be myself a lot but I should not let my past failures discourage me and keep me bound.

• I should look up to Him for He is my strength, all that I need: grace, mercy and His unfailing Love.
• Look up to Him for His approval- that's the only opinion that really matters at the end of the day- How unconditionally loved I am by Him.
• Look forward to the future in the hope of salvation- seeing all His promises come to fruition... and the greatest reward... being one with Him.

Lord, I surrender all to You. So help me. In Jesus Name Amen :-)

Check out this Word from one of the sites God led me to for encouragement and confirmation: A New Road. God is doing a New thing in this season that's why we really need to walk by faith. 

Blessings!

May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really CAN make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God's grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator,

Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word who is our brother and Saviour,

and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide,

be with you and remain with you, this day and forevermore.

AMEN.

by Sr. Ruth Fox, OSB (1985)

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Just stumbled upon this today. Didn't realize how blessed I am. Thank You Lord for Your blessings even those that don't appear to be blessings and thank You for Your Love, help me to rest in it and flow out of it coz apart from your Love I am nothing. Without You I can do nothing. I'm all weakness anyway. So yeah Lord, help me rest in You and then not to resist moving in the ways Your Love compells me to. Thanks Jesus! Amen. =)

Joan of Arc =)

"One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying."-Joan of Arc.

I saw that quote yesterday and I decided to watch a youtube video to find out more about here. I watched a series of videos of Warrior Women- Joan of Arc. Check it out. It was super encouraging =)
http://youtu.be/4anpGgBaMro

Lovely Mess

♫ I was staring at the sky today. Thinking back on when I was just a kid. 'Cause it seems I was more gentle then. Seems the world's traded me stone for skin. And I've tried and tried to fly But it's hard to wing away when you're weighed down

Oh mess that I am
Can You put me together again?...
Carry me high on the heights on the wings of the dawn
Lead me all the way to the place where You say I belong
'Cause You have the power to cover all my wrong
And present me as whole
Only You can make me whole ♫

On Love by Khalil Gibran

When love beckons to you, follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

p. 11

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.

Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

p. 11

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you

that you may know the secrets of your heart,

and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only

love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor,

Into the seasonless world where you

shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,

and weep, but not all of your tears.

p. 12

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself,

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed:

For love is sufficient unto love.

p. 13

When you love you should not say,

"God is in my heart," but rather,

"I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

p. 13

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; to return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

p. 13

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Prophet

~Teach me the way of Love~

"Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."-Jesus. (John 12: 24) -<3->

"If I ask to be delivered from a trial rather than for deliverance out of it, to the praise of His glory, If I forget that the way of the cross leads to the cross, and not to a bank of flowers, If I regulate my life on these lines, or even unconsciously my thinking, So that I am surprised when the way is rough, and think it strange, though the Word is "Think it not strange, count it all joy'. Then I know nothing of Calvary love." -Amy Carmichael.

♫ Your Love never changes. Let it change me. ♫

Cinderella :)

Cinderella: I've always wished for someone to come take me away from here.

Fairy godmother: Cinderella if you want to get out of here you're gonna have to do it yourself. The music's in you. Deep down in your soul. When you find it. Nothing will be able to keep you from walking out that door.

Cinderella: You don't know my stepmother.

Fairy godmother: You wanna know what her problem is? She can't handle how fabulous you are!

Over the summer I was watching Cinderella 1997, the one Brandy acted in (it's all on youtube) and the above quote stuck out to me and spoke to my situation, my family's and the black community. Also at the beginning Cinderella sung the song, "Impossible" but later she sung a new song, "It's possible!" Then she watched all her dreams come true -> first her dream of going to the ball happened with the inspiration of her fairy godmother then later after some obstacles, her dream of marrying the prince came true.

"But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26) =)