REST

"You make known to me

 the path of life;

in Your presence there is

 fullness of joy;

 at Your right hand are

pleasures forevermore."

   (Psalm 16:11)

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"Trust in the Lord with all your heart

    and lean not on your own understanding;

 in all your ways acknowledge Him,

    and He will direct your paths."

 (Proverbs 3:5-6)

*Learning to Rest is Learning to Trust*

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Update 9/30/12: Here are the words I left unwritten from this post...


"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)

"No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15)

So through different events at the beginning of this year and before that, God was showing me that I had turned into a Martha and He was calling me to become a Mary (who I used to be). I don't want to repeat myself much so you can go check out these related posts: Trust/Love Issues anyone? (A Call to Abide), Remember, Just Be, The Present, The Desert.

For a summary, my relationship with God was not okay as well as other areas of my life but I kept moving on with my routine (leadership with InterVarsity and school. Trying to balance the two). I remember one time during Common Ground I went to get prayer in the back from Paul and when I told himthat I wasn't doing good with God he told me, "But you're a leader..." He was surprised and I knew why. That's the view people had of me. ♫ On the outside you think I'm alright. There's a smile on my face, everything's okay. But on the inside there's a different story... ♫ (song below) I became like the rabbit on the right. My sophomore year I was co-leading a freshman bible study, family prayer meeting, the black csame group and I organized a school wide event mostly by myself (The Black Church Experience) and trying to keep up with being a Bio major. So yeah, on the outside it seemed like I was doing great with God since I was doing all that stuff for Him but beneath the surface my carrot was tiny. I knew this for sure but most people couldn't tell because they usually judge by external appearances. But I knew that I wasn't doing good with God. My identity was not firmly rooted in Him (kinda like in the vision that Paul had of me as a plant in the post: My Voice). And I became too caught up with being a Martha (doing work for God) to deal with my identity crisis... until things started falling apart and God used that to get my attention so that I can put first things first: my relationship with Him. “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.

Friendship with God

So I finally left leadership after the Fall. In the Winter I was set on seeking God and finding my identity in Him so I also withdrew from Common Ground for a while (I talk about this in the "Remember" post). During that time of being by myself and in the Word, God was reminding me of His identity as my loving Father and my identity in Him as His daughter. He was also restoring to me joy and peace which I was really yearning for (posts: Just Be and The Present). And He started giving me gifts to share with people, Wisdom through His Spirit and His Word. Read the verses at the top of this post again. So yeah, He was just reminding me that it's all about my relationship with Him. Everything else flows from that ("Ministry flows from being"). So my focus should always be on Him. When I focus on Him I find my identity in Him; when I seek His presence I find all that I need (love, joy, peace, strength...) which is too good to keep to myself so I wanna share it with others (ministry). So this is what He meant by working from a place of rest (post: Trust/Love Issues anyone?) And the opposite of what I was doing (Martha me). My focus was on the work: "I have no peace and joy but I'll keep doing these things for God. I'll make this sacrifice for His Kingdom." This seems nice and sacrificial but it was the WRONG approach. God doesn't tell us to sacrifice our relationship with Him "for His Kingdom" What's His Kingdom about in the first place? "righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" (Romans 14:17) And in 1 Corinthians 9: 24-27 Paul tells us, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." Which is the same message Jesus gave Mary and Martha, "but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

So yeah, Jesus was reminding me that He just wants to be my friend (like a real friend). To hang out with me all the time. And because He is God He knows everything so He doesn't want me to aimlessly do stuff for Him and wear myself out. He wants to direct my paths so I need to stop worrying and choose to listen to Him. (post: My G.P.S) He wants me to do stuff with Him. That doesn't mean that everything will be easy. Storms will come but He promises to be with us even in the storm so we can find rest in Him even in the storm. Listen to the first song I posted: "Alone in His presence"."No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends"- Love Jesus. Isn't that amazing??!! Jesus calls us His friends!! HaHaHa! =)

God, thanks for teaching me all this stuff. Help me to fix my eyes on You always. It's easy to take my eyes off you to focus "on the work" or on the storm which brings weariness. And it's easy to try and find rest in the world (say facebook, or movies, or silly unimportant things) or in people or even in myself but I've realized that's not finding rest; it's actually falling asleep. But I want to be awake and alert and at rest in You always so yeah, fill me up with more of Your presence. Thanks for calling me your friend! Help us all to apply this message and to be good friends with You coz that's all that matters at the end of the day. We love You Jesus! Thanks for loving us and sending a friend request in the most awesome way: laying Your life down for us even when we were Your enemies. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 <3 :)