"This is what the LORD Almighty said: 'Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil in your hearts against each other.'" (Zechariah 7: 9-10)
"Thus says the LORD: “Keep justice, and do righteousness, for soon my salvation will come, and my deliverance be revealed."
(Isaiah 56:1)
"for My house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.” (Isaiah 56: 7b) :-)
"Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." (1 John 3:18)
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
The Mother of all Reformations: The Love Revolution
What's True Religion? It's all about relationship. "It is our destiny to live in intimate relationship with God, knowing the depth and delight of being loved by Jesus, our Bridegroom God and, in turn, loving Him with all our hearts. The Holy Spirit is restoring the first and great commandment to first place in the Body of Christ." (Passion for Jesus, IHOP) And out of this love relationship with The Giver, to receive His great love and to share it with others, to let it overflow. To fulfill the second greatest commandment.
So over the course of last year, Simba returned to "Pride Rock"- God set me free by His Spirit at Prefall Leaders Retreat and He filled me with joy. He also gave me My Voice back. The freedom to use my voice to share what God put on my heart. But I wasn't satisfied. I was thirsty for more. More of His love. Intimacy. So I did a fast to seek Him more. And at the same time "the powers" didn't like that I was using my voice and trying to spread the freedom that God had given me so the opposition I faced was all the more reason to chase after God like never before. As I sought Him more, brokenness and all, He revealed more of Himself. As I surrendered my brokenness to Him He healed me, He renewed my mind and filled me with more of His love. Then when I went back to share it with the rest of the fellowship the powers still did not permit me. But that was where I went wrong. God had given me authority to speak the words He had given me to share and to proclaim freedom but I was waiting around for permission from man and it never came. In fact I got the opposite, opposition. So God told me to rebuke the powers which I did and nothing changed. So God told me to make the rebuke public to serve as a warning for others. And even after that nothing changed and I got rejected. The powers told me that the only way to "be reconciled"with the rest is when I stop being black, stop being myself, stop obeying God and stop walking by the Holy Spirit. So basically the powers wanted to enslave me again. And I couldn't go back into slavery and stay silent as I saw others oppressed as well. (If you didn't catch what I was saying, God wants to bring reformation and revival to the church but the leaders who were holding onto the past and not following the Spirit's lead brought opposition. posts: Who Cares? Colors of the Wind Let My people Go! Are you comfortable yet? What is the church?)
So when Fall quarter came about and I wasn't Simba anymore, I was Nala. My role was to go into the desert and search for the Simbas and show them the way to Pride Rock. But I didn't really get that at the moment. I was still trying to fight for reconciliation in the fellowship but the powers wanted none of it. So I was distressed, alone and depressed. But in my lonesomeness God's love shone through but I felt guilty enjoying it by myself. So I was restless for most of the quarter. (post: Journey)
________________________________________________________________________
So over the course of last year, Simba returned to "Pride Rock"- God set me free by His Spirit at Prefall Leaders Retreat and He filled me with joy. He also gave me My Voice back. The freedom to use my voice to share what God put on my heart. But I wasn't satisfied. I was thirsty for more. More of His love. Intimacy. So I did a fast to seek Him more. And at the same time "the powers" didn't like that I was using my voice and trying to spread the freedom that God had given me so the opposition I faced was all the more reason to chase after God like never before. As I sought Him more, brokenness and all, He revealed more of Himself. As I surrendered my brokenness to Him He healed me, He renewed my mind and filled me with more of His love. Then when I went back to share it with the rest of the fellowship the powers still did not permit me. But that was where I went wrong. God had given me authority to speak the words He had given me to share and to proclaim freedom but I was waiting around for permission from man and it never came. In fact I got the opposite, opposition. So God told me to rebuke the powers which I did and nothing changed. So God told me to make the rebuke public to serve as a warning for others. And even after that nothing changed and I got rejected. The powers told me that the only way to "be reconciled"with the rest is when I stop being black, stop being myself, stop obeying God and stop walking by the Holy Spirit. So basically the powers wanted to enslave me again. And I couldn't go back into slavery and stay silent as I saw others oppressed as well. (If you didn't catch what I was saying, God wants to bring reformation and revival to the church but the leaders who were holding onto the past and not following the Spirit's lead brought opposition. posts: Who Cares? Colors of the Wind Let My people Go! Are you comfortable yet? What is the church?)
So when Fall quarter came about and I wasn't Simba anymore, I was Nala. My role was to go into the desert and search for the Simbas and show them the way to Pride Rock. But I didn't really get that at the moment. I was still trying to fight for reconciliation in the fellowship but the powers wanted none of it. So I was distressed, alone and depressed. But in my lonesomeness God's love shone through but I felt guilty enjoying it by myself. So I was restless for most of the quarter. (post: Journey)
________________________________________________________________________
Me: So you want me to be myself huh? Just walk into a community that doesn't know me or one that knows me and is satisfied with what they know/don't know and be like: "Now that I'm here we need to change how we do things." You want me to express myself huh? Just walk into Impact bible study in tears and be like who cares what you had planned. You don't know me but I need to share what's on my heart. I need my brothers and sisters in Christ to stand with me in prayer right now. I need you guys in my life (outside of this room). It really bothers me and saddens me that I don't know you guys yet we're a small enough group to really get close to each other and to share each other's burdens (everybody not just your accountability partners or with the leaders).... You want me to burst in tears when I see my InterVarsity friends who are not in my life anymore even after I tried initiating with them? You want me, while at HQ, or anyone else's house that I've invited myself to, when asked how I'm doing, to breakdown and pour my heart out in the midst of their funtime/ busy time? You want me to burst in tears at BSU or any other event as I share my testimony, my longing for friendship and most importantly as I tell them their real identity found in Christ. So you want me to interrupt my roomies daily drill to pour my heart out to them? So you really want me to be myself when that means interrupting people's lives and being an inconvinience??
God: Yup. First thing, I want you to remember who You are. You're a reformer. So yeah, being yourself would mean bringing reformation. And that passion, that emotion, you've been hiding is what they need to see. Watch the clip below. You're taking this thing way too personally. It's not about you. It's all about Me. Yeah your heart is tender and all you want is to love and to be loved. That's why seeing the disunity wrecks you. And that's why I want to use you coz it wrecks Me too and through my Spirit I am restoring the greatest commandment, LOVE, to it it's place; FIRST place. So yeah just woman up! and just LOVE. LEAD! I want you to introduce the whole new world that's coming (read the book of Acts to get an idea).
Second, I didn't say it would be easy and yes, nothing will be given to you. Listen to this song: ♫ Sometimes you gotta go uninvited, sometimes you gotta speak when you don't have the floor... long before you could run the risk, You were born for this! ♫
Me: Yeah, yeah I know you want me to lead and be a pioneer and all that. You said that in the "What's your name?" and "Love each other" And I finally took the first steps and went into the desert and I had soooo many opportunities to lead there but I didn't take them. Why? It just sucks being the first, feeling judged by the people who are meant to give you support, yeah no one cares to know me or know me more and I'm just meant to force myself into their lives??? Also since it was my last quarter I was holding back my love...coz I felt like it was too late and I was guarding my heart to keep it from breaking.... But you're right... WHO CARES?! if no one wants to know me more coz I'm meant to be making YOU known. And if I'm not sharing You, the passion that's within me, then I don't blame people for not caring to know me coz I'm pretty boring without You. You are what makes me come alive. ....Oh yeah, I know you want me to be vulnerable, to express the compassion You put within me.... but yeah I guess I still have issues with me... I feel like I'm not worth people's time... I don't want the spotlight on me. I don't want to take over the conversation...I don't want to dominate. I want invitation but I never get it... And then I don't want to be a burden so I don't share my burdens... but then that's really dumb coz not only do I remain unseen and unloved but I also prevent myself from loving others which is a scheme of the devil.... and at the end of the day it's like I might as well be invisible, I might as well not exist if I'm not being myself (sharing my heart, sharing my life, sharing God's love) because to fail at Love is to fail at life :( No I'm not having a pity party. I'm just saying the truth. But it's also true that I've really grown and through my failures I've now learnt what's in the way from my goal of dying to myself. I wish I could go back to SB in the Spring to apply it coz I've been a terrible friend since I let my insecurities get in the way. So I started the quarter in tears and ended in tears. Yeah I can still love my friends but I just made things harder.
God: Yeah I want you to love like My Son but don't be discouraged just keep your eyes on Him and keep pressing on towards the mark. And you're never alone. I am with you and my grace is enough for you. My love is all you need."No matter how weak or strong you feel, regardless of your previous failures, irrespective of your personality, you can be ablaze with passion for Jesus." (Passion for Jesus, IHOP) Listen to this song.
God: Yeah I want you to love like My Son but don't be discouraged just keep your eyes on Him and keep pressing on towards the mark. And you're never alone. I am with you and my grace is enough for you. My love is all you need."No matter how weak or strong you feel, regardless of your previous failures, irrespective of your personality, you can be ablaze with passion for Jesus." (Passion for Jesus, IHOP) Listen to this song.
(2/13/2013)
♫ How loud are the drums of war? ♫ "The LORD will create a New thing on earth--a woman will surround a man." ♥ Jeremiah 31:22b ♥ Usually it's the other way around, a man (seen as strength) surrounds a woman (seen as weakness). Behold! a New thing! A woman (represents Compassion) will surround a man (represents Justice) and silence the drums of war (there shall be Peace). ♫ Love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for. ♫ LOVE conquers ALL =) ~~~I'm learning that ALL I need to do is show this weakness. To Let Go and Let Love Flow ~~~ #Freedom! :D #ThankGod! :)
A great revival's coming. A revolution. And it's already begun. A wave of reformation and revival is sweeping through.
I left SB without applying all I was planning to apply but I won't live in regret. God is still on the throne and it's my prayer that He may fill us up with more of His love so that we can love like He wants us to. We are the revolution! Let's rise and shine! =)
Related posts: Self-Esteem, Misfit?-> Revolutionary, REAL Identity, REVOLUTION.
________________________________________________________________________
Related posts: Self-Esteem, Misfit?-> Revolutionary, REAL Identity, REVOLUTION.
________________________________________________________________________
This post's really whinny. Just sharing some of the thoughts that go through my head. Yes I fail but I'm glad that I serve the God of all hope so I'll keep my eyes on Him and surrender all my cares to Him. He begun a good work in me and you and He is faithful to bring it to completion. Yay God! Do Your thing! A New thing! =)
No comments:
Post a Comment