What's Your Name?

~~~~ A NAME. A CALLING. A DESTINY. ~~~~

"And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for Him, to give His people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.”And the child grew and became strong in spirit; and he lived in the wilderness until he appeared publicly to Israel. (Luke 1: 76-80)

Hello family and friends and welcome to the Introduction of "The Story of My Life" series aka "Reviving Charlene" aka "Finding Charlene" aka "My Odyssey" aka "The Journey Back to Life" aka "The Return to Pride Rock" aka "The Homecoming". Ok enough of that lol. So this journey was prompted by my interesting predicament which I'll get to in a bit. This must be the 100th time that I'm introducing this series but this time I'll actually start it and hopefully finish... scratch that, I will finish. I've been avoiding making this journey for too long now. But it's about time. I need to. I have to. What I'll be sharing is not just close to my heart... it's my heart. I'll lay down my life before you. I must make this journey for myself. God wants me to. He keeps telling me to remember who I am and writing helps me remember stuff- I can easily escape my thoughts and avoid painful feelings but when I'm writing I have to face them. Writing also helps me process stuff that's why it's so important in my journey (I call it "freedom by expression"). But if you want to hear this from me I'm up for that too so hit me up :) Why am I making this public? Because I am dedicating it to you. I just care a lot. So let's share this journey? Say what? Oh, you want to know my name? Oh sorry! I totally skipped the introductions! My bad! Allow me to introduce myself... {If you're impatient /don't have time for all this then just read the last section -What's Your Name? - I'll tie everything together and "get to the point" lol }
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My Name is...

In the post REAL Identity, I had shared that God had revived me at the Pre-Fall leaders retreat but during that Fall quarter a lot of spiritual warfare was going on and my identity was under attack. At a prayer meeting God spoke to me through Paul and Thaddeus and said that He would start protecting me and He did. He started giving me lots of confirmation that I wasn't nuts (that what He was giving me to share with others in the fellowship was from Him). In that post I shared the confirmation He gave me but I left one out... my name. He told me my name. Like a week after that prayer meeting I went home for the weekend. I was driving with my mum one night and while she was talking to me I wasn't really listening to her since I was consumed with my thoughts (sorry mum!). I was worrying about all the drama that was going on in the fellowship - conflict with staff over the messages I was giving the fellowship - the length, frequency and some of the content; and I was confused because I didn't know my place in the body of Christ. So as my mum was talking something she said caught my attention and blew me away. 

1. Charlene 

Charlene means FREE woman :-)

I knew that my mum had named me after a prayer warrior but that's all I knew. So my mum randomly started telling me more about her. She told me that Charlene was a young missionary from Germany. She was part of Reinhard Bonnke's ministry (He's an evangelist who still does massive revival crusades in Africa). She would be sent to the particular country months before Bonnke went to it and her job would be to prepare people for revival. She would teach people the importance of prayer and fasting. She told them that miracles don't just happen, they have to partner with God. She would also teach the importance of unity among the different churches in the area. My mum used to go to the different prayer  & info meetings Charlene held to prepare and spiritually equip the people; and she gained a lot of Wisdom through her. When my mum told me all that I was stunned. What Charlene was teaching people to prepare them for revival was the same as the messages that God had been giving me to share with the fellowship (ex. A Call to Prayer, Time to Seek, A Call to Fast, A Call for Unity in the Body of Christ etc). Her job was to break up the hard ground spiritually (by teaching the people to pray and fast and to work together/love each other) so that when Bonnke would go preach the Word (sow the Word) he would find good soil (soft hearts/thirsty ground) and revival would break out (lots of people would give their lives to Christ and there'd be lots of healings and miracles). I hadn't told my mum about what I'd been up to that quarter (the messages I was giving InterVarsity and the drama that ensued) so I knew it was God who led my mum to share that to encourage me. He was giving me more confirmation about my identity. It was encouraging but also kinda overwhelming to see the aerial view -For me I saw what I was doing as just sharing with my friends but God was showing me that it's part of my calling. It's my name. Why am I sharing this? I'm not just ranting about myself. This is about you. Please read on and you'll see. 

 2. Wambui

Wambui means Singer of Songs

"A voice of one calling: "In the desert prepare the way for the LORD; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God." (Mark 1:3)

"He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” (Luke 1: 14-16)

When I was looking up the meaning of Wambui online I saw this meaning: "Singer of songs. Expression: People with the name Wambui value community and balance, and are dependable and considerate. They often tend to gravitate to occupations where they can act as peacemakers or negotiators, or fulfill these roles among their friends and family. They tend to be conventional, responsible, family-oriented, warm and affectionate. They sometimes worry obsessively about those they care for. They work for harmony and balance in their lives, and respond positively to beautiful things." I know that expression thing is sketch but God teaches me things randomly and He used that to give me more confirmation about my identity. Making peace involves making war (spiritual warfare) but the weapons that we fight with are not weapons of this world. I'll have more posts to explain that but here are two weapons: The Word of God and Music. Posts: My Voice, Prepare the Way!, Spirit of Prophecy and The gift of prophecy.

3. Macharia

Macharia means one who Seeks

To this John replied, “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of Him.’ The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.” (John 3: 27-30)

"Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you." (Hosea 10:12)

Last year God called me out of working for Him (leadership in InterVarsity) while my relationship with Him was suffering. He was calling me before that but it was last year that I heeded His call. He called me into a desert season to focus on Him, yielding myself to Him to search me and refine me. To rest in His love for me and to find my identity and security in Him alone. Post: Rest. Each time I sought Him and waited for Him He would renew my mind so that I could see His love and He would restore my joy. I would find myself in Him and that's when I would go back to the fellowship events but the drama going on would then again drive me back into the desert. So I've been in the desert because of drama (spiritual warfare),  and because God has been calling me to seek Him for myself, and also because God is doing a New thing in the desert. So God is calling people into the desert, to be prepared to lead the New thing that God is doing and about to do. This song really spoke to me. It gave me confirmation and encouragement.

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What's Your Name?

A New Season's coming and it's here. A season of Revival. God wants to wake us up to our Real Identity which is found in Him (which makes sense since He is our creator). This is Your Time! :) You are a master-piece in the making and it's time to step into the purpose you were formed for and I'm telling you... God has amazing things in store for us; above and beyond our imaginations! :) So why did I have to share my name? (apart from this series being the story of my life lol) Because God has given me stuff to share with you about your identity and this coming season. I'm sharing because it's part of my identity and calling. I'm just an ordinary girl but with a message from The LORD and I want to be obedient. God is taking me on this journey because He wants me to remember who I am and to be confident in the person He made me to be. He has been rooting me in my identity in Him so that I can share the same with you. And this season is special, it's time for Heaven's rain, time for the Sun to shine :D So I urge you to learn your name beginning with Forgiven and Loved (post: I have a Father). Learn who you were named after. Claim the blessings and rebuke any of the bad things associated with your name.

APOLOGY: This is a time to break down and a time to build up (Eccl. 3). I've shared how God has been building me up and yes it is encouraging but it has also brought me a lot of pain. You see when He builds you up in your real identity He also wants to break down all your false identities and tear down all your masks. So this is what I want to apologize for... what I will be forcing myself to face on this Journey to the Past series... By exposing the devil's schemes, God has really convicted my heart about how selfish and unloving I have become :'((((((((( You see the devil lied to me that I was a problem and that I needed to change myself. He told me that I wasn't allowed to be myself, I was too young, too this and too that, it wasn't my place or my time. So I took my eyes off God and started to change myself and in doing so I let the devil steal my voice, my joy and my peace. The devil's goal was to hide the light that God was shining through me to keep it from spreading. So I stopped sharing God's Word with my friends and family, I stopped singing and I stopped being joyful and I distanced myself from God by wallowing in self-pity and discouragement and lust. The devil really broke down my identity. He attacked my name, my calling. God set me free when I finally surrendered my life to Him again last year (post: Quick Testimony)  but He was showing me how I still have brokenness, how I haven't been loving people because I stopped sharing my life with others. God showed me last quarter that the devil had made me believe that my real self was rejected by my family and peers so I had to put on a false self -not fully expressing myself and the part I wasn't expressing is His light of Love and Truth.

The devil has kept me bound for such a long time and prevented me from living out my destiny and has kept me from loving even my own family :( I have a post about family later). Yes I started sharing God's Word through my blog and it's like I've been waiting for company to apply what God was teaching me but it seems like no one is listening. But God has shown me that part of the reason for that is I'm still hiding, I've been trying to love people but from afar but now I need to take this message to the people and I need to lead by example - I was avoiding that due to fear of rejection and my insecurities. But I can't live this way anymore, my heart will explode. The Love He gives me is for sharing, His light for shining and the wings He gave me for flying. I have failed and failed continuously :( but God been merciful to me. This is my last quarter in Santa Barbara and I will finish strong! It's time to Prepare the way for the Lord! He is coming soon! I will spread the Good news. I will share His Love. Not by my own strength but by resting on His. Friends I share because I care. The Source and goal of Wisdom and knowledge is Love.  So I'm sorry for not being a good friend and for keeping God's light to myself. Check out this video I made. This song really struck my heart. I'm making it my prayer. Let's all pray it together :)

I'll keep blogging because God told me to but in addition I want to be His feet this quarter. It's about time to talk the talk and walk the talk. You're more than welcome to join me in spreading the good news (my goal for this quarter) I would love the company/friendship! As for my blog posts please feel free to ask questions and give feedback. I want to teach the Truth in Love. So yeah, this is me. I don't want to hide God's light anymore. I wanna be myself. If you're wondering what "The Gospel / The Good News" is check out this cool short clip in this post: The Full Gospel. I love you all! Thanks for reading! God bless you! =)