Friday, January 24, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Serenity Prayer :)
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
(by Reinhold Niebuhr)
Come have Your way! Oh beautiful God of mercy! =)
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Let go of the past disappointments and rejection...
"In everything, give thanks!"
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Resting Place =)
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| "He makes me lie down in green pastures. He restores..." |
♫ I am bound for the Promised land ♫
When I went home after Spring quarter God was speaking to me through Deuteronomy about crossing over to the Promised Land, what we need to do to possess it. Read Deuteronomy 5:28 through chapters 6-12. And He was also stressing that we are closely approaching the Promised Land that's why the enemy is intensifying his attacks to keep us from entering in. When I went home there were many problems that were popping up and others that were already there were surfacing. The enemy was throwing sickness and threats of sicknesses, conflicts and division, confusion and depression... basically his plan is to oppress and destroy us to keep us from the destiny God has set for us and to keep us from inheriting all the promises that God has for us. I could see this in my life, my family, my friend's families, and in America (I'll talk about that later also there's a post in my drafts about families.) But yeah, God was just reminding me about the spiritual warfare we need to engage in order to overcome the enemy's evil plans and see God's promises materialize. I'll highlight some of the verses:
1. LOVE -He wants it ALL.
2. RESTORATION of Fortunes
“And when the Lord your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you—with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant—and when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. It is lthe Lord your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by His name you shall swear. Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; 15 for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a jealous God" (Deut. 6:10-15a)
He wants to bestow blessings like never before. Restoring the years of the locust has eaten."If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God:" (Deuteronomy 28:1, 2 NIV) Refer to these posts for more Scripture talking about that PRIDE ROCK, Sow in tears. Reap in Joy!,
So He wants us to make Him our first Love, our One and Only (because when we have Him we have everything and He is the only One who fully satisfies and the only One who matters in the end) and so when we do, the other stuff He blesses us with won't take His place. He is our Resting Place for better or for worse. Whatever the season let's make Him our refuge, our peace and our rest :)
3. WARFARE!
"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is ONE. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." (Deut. 6: 4-9)
First and foremost, God wants to be the first priority in our lives, our center, our all in all. Remember, the main reason why He let them wander in the desert (besides them being stubborn and complain-y) is because He wanted to test them and see where their trust lied and also to show that He could fulfill all our their needs (The Desert Series posts: The Desert, A Call to Persevere, i Thirst/ i Sing/ i Cling).
“And when the Lord your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you—with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant—and when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. It is lthe Lord your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by His name you shall swear. Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; 15 for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a jealous God" (Deut. 6:10-15a)
He wants to bestow blessings like never before. Restoring the years of the locust has eaten."If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God:" (Deuteronomy 28:1, 2 NIV) Refer to these posts for more Scripture talking about that PRIDE ROCK, Sow in tears. Reap in Joy!,
So He wants us to make Him our first Love, our One and Only (because when we have Him we have everything and He is the only One who fully satisfies and the only One who matters in the end) and so when we do, the other stuff He blesses us with won't take His place. He is our Resting Place for better or for worse. Whatever the season let's make Him our refuge, our peace and our rest :)
3. WARFARE!
"And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that it may go well with you, and that you may go in and take possession of the good land that the Lord swore to give to your fathers by thrusting out all your enemies from before you, as the Lord has promised."(Deut. 6: 18-19)
“When the Lord your God brings you into the land that you are entering to take possession of it, and clears away many nations before you, the Hittites, the Girgashites, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations more numerous and mightier than you, and when the Lord your God gives them over to you, and you defeat them, then you must devote them to complete destruction. You shall make no covenant with them and show no mercy to them."
So I begun this post early summer, but I left it in my drafts... but then Olivia, my lil sis, was reading the Bible more for herself and she used to call me with questions when I came back for summer school. And she told me that she kept seeing the number 7 in the Scriptures she was reading and she felt like God was trying to tell her something. So when she googled it she came across this website: 7 types of evil spirits. And I feel like God was using her to speak to me,... coz it immediately reminded me of this post in my drafts coz she was talking about the same Scriptures God had highlighted for me. This chart below especially stood out to me. In order to inherit God's promises we need to overcome the schemes that the devil has set to distract us from entering in, in other words, "idols."
I just realized how similar the chart above is to the list I made in the pic on the left. God had showed me that I was letting these schemes of the devil hold me back from being who He created me to be and from claiming His promises. And I needed to fight back ...but the battle belongs to the LORD so it's all about release. For me to let go and let God fight for me. For me not to shrink back but to stand firm on my identity hidden in Christ. This is a call to put on the FULL Armor of God (post).
This is what God promises to do when we surrender to Him:"The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven... The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. (Deuteronomy 28: 7, 12-13) Read the rest of the promised blessings in the PRIDE ROCK post :)
So I begun this post early summer, but I left it in my drafts... but then Olivia, my lil sis, was reading the Bible more for herself and she used to call me with questions when I came back for summer school. And she told me that she kept seeing the number 7 in the Scriptures she was reading and she felt like God was trying to tell her something. So when she googled it she came across this website: 7 types of evil spirits. And I feel like God was using her to speak to me,... coz it immediately reminded me of this post in my drafts coz she was talking about the same Scriptures God had highlighted for me. This chart below especially stood out to me. In order to inherit God's promises we need to overcome the schemes that the devil has set to distract us from entering in, in other words, "idols."
| Spirit name | Meaning of name | Abbreviated explanation of effects |
|---|---|---|
| Hittites | Sons of terror | Subliminal torments, phobias, terror, depression, deceit |
| Girgashites | Clay dwellers | Focus on earthliness, unbelief in what cannot be seen |
| Amorites | Mountain people; renowned | Obsession with earthly fame and glory, domineering |
| Canaanites | Lowlands people | Addictions, perversions, exaggerated people-pleasing |
| Perizzites | Belonging to a village | Limited vision, laziness, low self-esteem |
| Hivites | Villagers | Vision limited to enjoying an earthly inheritance, hedonism |
| Jebusites | Threshers | Suppression of spiritual authority in fellow believers, legalism |
This is what God promises to do when we surrender to Him:"The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven... The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. (Deuteronomy 28: 7, 12-13) Read the rest of the promised blessings in the PRIDE ROCK post :)
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"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you." (: 2 Chronicles 20:17 :)
"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations." (Psalm 100)
Praise is a powerful weapon against the devil's schemes. Praise keeps our eyes on God's goodness no matter what is going on around us. So it is through praise that we will inherit all of God's promises! When we exalt God over our problems He takes care of the problems for us. Praise prepares the way for God to show us His salvation :) Read the whole of Psalm 68 :-) Here's some of it:
"God shall arise, his enemies shall be scattered; and those who hate him shall flee before him!...Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves! ...Your procession, God, has come into view, the procession of my God and King into the sanctuary. In front are the singers, after them the musicians; with them are the young women playing the timbrels. Praise God in the great congregation... Summon your power, God; show us your strength, our God, as you have done before. Sing to God, you kingdoms of the earth, sing praise to the Lord, to Him who rides across the highest heavens, the ancient heavens, who thunders with mighty voice. Proclaim the power of God, whose majesty is over Israel, whose power is in the heavens. You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary;the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!"
A CALL TO REST! A CALL TO PRAISE! =)
"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations." (Psalm 100)
"God shall arise, his enemies shall be scattered; and those who hate him shall flee before him!...Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves! ...Your procession, God, has come into view, the procession of my God and King into the sanctuary. In front are the singers, after them the musicians; with them are the young women playing the timbrels. Praise God in the great congregation... Summon your power, God; show us your strength, our God, as you have done before. Sing to God, you kingdoms of the earth, sing praise to the Lord, to Him who rides across the highest heavens, the ancient heavens, who thunders with mighty voice. Proclaim the power of God, whose majesty is over Israel, whose power is in the heavens. You, God, are awesome in your sanctuary;the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!"
So yeah God wants to restore relationships (including our relationship with Him, marriages, friendships and families), fortunes, and He also wants to restore the people of Israel, and not just those who know their heritage but all the dry bones as well (post: REAL Identity). Restoration is a sign of the times. Here's a video I watched and got confirmation about that :)
"I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign Lord. I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak,..." (Ezekiel 34: 11-16)
So yeah, let's find rest as we praise and hope in the Lord our Peace. Greater things are yet to come!! VICTORY!!! PRAISE GOD!! =D #Plug: If you are in SB let's all come together and worship the King on January 25th 7pm, UCSB. He's gonna work miracles! =)
So yeah, let's find rest as we praise and hope in the Lord our Peace. Greater things are yet to come!! VICTORY!!! PRAISE GOD!! =D #Plug: If you are in SB let's all come together and worship the King on January 25th 7pm, UCSB. He's gonna work miracles! =)
*Oh yeah, everything I've written in this post is also for myself. I just like to share the journey. That's the Word God was speaking to me and it's also corporate. Let's pray for each other, encourage and help each other apply it. I'll share more of my personal stories later, with God's grace, and go into my struggles and experiences and God's hand at work in the midst of it (I need to for myself so I don't keep making the same mistakes, and you are welcome to learn from my experiences as well. God bless! Let me know if you have any questions! =)
Just ran into some cool confirmation. Check it out: Crossing the Red Sea.
Just ran into some cool confirmation. Check it out: Crossing the Red Sea.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Destination SB :-)
So anyway, after I packed my bags Yvonne (my big sis) gave me a ride to the train station... and I must say... this time around my decision to return to SB was met with more opposition than ever before - opposition from my family- and I understand why... My sisters have sacrificed a lot to provide for our family even though they now have families of their own... Flo especially has sacrificed so much to the point that her health was affected. Me, on the otherhand, God gave me this scholarship to come to college and since I am done with my major my sisters want me to go back home, find a job and start taking care of bills so that me, Olivia and my mum can have our own apartment. "Don't you wanna help mum?... Don't you think it's your responsibility to help the family?" my sisters asked me. It was hard hearing this because I do want to help my family, and I had opportunities in the past where I could have helped them while helping myself (paid internships and jobs in the medical field that I let slip through my fingers since I got distracted with my own issues - I was busy being depressed and doubting myself).
Those are questions that came up all through Winter break and also as Yvonne was escorting me to the train. And they were a real concern- it seemed like I didn't care about my family, or that I cared about Santa Barbara more than my own family. Those questions made me want to cry and in the train I did. I was not crying because the observation was correct (coz I do care about my family, I just also care about many more people) but because I know the solution, how to cross over to "the promised land" but I've been holding myself back hence holding all my beloved ones back with me for so many years. I was also crying because my family loves me and I have a home as well as a place to live. Unlike SB where I don't have a place to live (#couch-surfing status) and I have also continuously failed to make it my home :( Though my past failures (and how they affect my family) made me sad, I just could not pull the plug on Santa Barbara though it was the logical thing to do... coz though I failed time and time again, God's grace carried me this far and I can't just bail out on the best part... Seeing God fulfill the promises He has for me after I give my all. So anyway I packed my bags got on the train got to SB. And when I looked up, the moon was smiling at me as if to welcome me back :) (Check out this song by Diana Nduba, she was in my high school in Kenya) #ByeAgainFamily #HelloSB #ReclaimThePrize #EyestotheSkies #ACallforLoveNsolidarity #ItsTime =) ♫ I'm not giving up this time. I can't stand to lose what's mine. Not giving up ♫
♫ There's so much inside of me so I'm running! running through the storm! ♫
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THE RETURN TO SB
Sometime during my train ride to SB my mum called me and something she said really gripped me, she said, "You never know, maybe God will give us a house in Santa Barbara." (If you wanna read more about my family's situation you can go to the "Dear Families" blogpost... but yeah some friends of mine had prophesied that we would move out of our apt and also that God would give us a house... we moved out but don't yet have a house of our own). That stuck out to me because there was a point that I had thought the same thing... I think it was after I watched Dr. Cindy Trimm's testimony of what God did for her family in the video: Commanding your morning.
But anyway, I kept that at the back of mind but it kept coming up as God gave me more confirmation. He was reassuring me that I was right where He wanted me at this time and that: ♫ I'll make this place your home. ♫ I kept running into music about "home" like the one below. And yeah everything started making more sense, God kept sending me out here to SB so that I could have a home here (make it my home) before He gave us a house here... But it's not just about my family... there's a post in my drafts titled, "This Time for Africa!" where I shared some of the revelations God gave me while I was here in the fall.
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Sing Out Your Freedom! Promised Land!! =D
The classes I was planning to take this quarter are: Intro to African Studies with Akudinobi (that's the one I need for my minor), the Civil Rights Movement with Johnson, Black Diaspora Cinema, SWAPA (Spoken Word Art Performance Activism) and Housing, Inheritance, Race with Lipsitz. I don't know if you see what I see but from just the titles it should remind you of my Prison Break post. It's time for FREEDOM! from all chains of oppression and it's time for RESTORATION of what was stolen and all years that the locust ate up. BUT there are huge giants roaming around in our promised land but if we focus on them they intimidate us and when we try to fight them with our own strength we have a few victories here and there but the struggle continues and it wears us out and keeps us restless... BUT when we focus on OUR GOD we realize that He is GREATER than any giant that is keeping us from our destiny, we also see the BIGGER PICTURE - that God had a PURPOSE for even our pain, He has a way of turning what the devil (or others) meant for evil for our good.
I have had some really tough and depressing times at SB but when I looked to God He showed me the bigger picture and filled me with HOPE. That's why I'm still here. I am yet to share with all of you the big picture (my observations from last year) but it's basically the story of Joseph and his brothers. It's a season for breakthrough and shifting, favor and promotion! =) But to get there we need to FIGHT! those giants. How?
- Forgive and Love - Let go of the pain from the past. The only way to do this is through looking at Jesus and letting the Father fill us with His unconditional love, mercy and grace.
- Express your freedom to receive it - We are not fighting against flesh and blood, it's spiritual WAR and we need to fight with all the right weapons if we want to see VICTORY. We need GOD to fight for us so we need to partner with Him coz He wants to give us what we want. So let's ask Him (pray), let's praise Him (sing and dance), let's speak life into our situations (speak, write, draw, paint). God gave us the power to overcome the schemes of the enemy. It's time for FREEDOM so we need to SING IT OUT! Then watch! As the praises go up, the blessings come down! IT'S TIME! :D God will show us His POWER just like in the days of old so let's FAITH it till we make it to the Promised Land. Sing! =D (Check out this video I made a few years back, some of the promises God gave me... I'm waiting for the RAIN. So I'll sing! :-)
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ONE LOVE: A Night of UNITY! =)
After "The Dream of a King" event in the summer, I kinda gave up... well I gave up before the event. I just wanted to get over with the event and finally get out of Santa Barbara. I was tired. So my focus wasn't doing God's will or laying down my life for others. At the event I knew that God wanted me to speak but I cancelled the talk. And I knew I was disobeying God and so I felt terrible after the event. After that I wasn't planning to do any more events... But then in the Fall, when I walked by faith things started lining up... and God placed me in the path of people who had the same vision that I did and we started planning One Love... I haven't publicized it as much as I would have wanted to,... but I am expecting Great things... since God is the one behind this event.... not me striving... I know I've failed on my part but God's been showing me that He still stays faithful to His promise.... so whoever shows up or doesn't show up, I'm withholding nothing this time... I just wanna yield myself to however God wants to us me, I just wanna do His will so Lord I pray that Your Kingdom comes and Your will to be done. Thank You for your mercy and grace =)
Friday, January 3, 2014
Stories :)
"Why do we tell stories- who are they for? Do we tell them for us- for healing? or for audiences - seeking their involvement?" (~Ralph Armbruster-sandoval, Racism in American History class)
That quote is from a class I audited in the summer which was really cool! The professor is great and the material is super- relevant and timely and he provided a space for students to interact with the material and share their personal stories and emotions which was so powerful like nothing I've ever seen take place in a college classroom. Anyway, the quote was eye-opening because after the Spring is when I broke down when it came to blogging (sharing my own stories and emotions. My own words, not just copying and pasting other people's words and song lyrics or re-posting old blog posts which is what I've been doing ever since then). ♫ You might be wondering... why do I limp? I fought a war and it gave me this...I may be down but look in my eyes, I've got a light that's ready to Shine! ♫ So yeah I'm in the process of a revival... I've been dormant and holding myself back but all these reasons and things keep coming at me about why I should keep writing, one of them being God Himself. So feel free to join me as I walk through the various reasons why I should write and why you should consider writing ;) (oh and they are not in order of importance but be sure to check out the last section: A Whole New World) =)
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Why Write?
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2. For Vulnerability - Another thing, why did I chose to blog? Why not just keep a journal? In my "Remember" post I mentioned: "I choose to journal since writing is therapeutic for me and I choose to blog because it's the only way I can get myself to journal consistently since I'm not just doing it for myself, other people may also benefit from it." I'm one of those people who cares about other people sometimes more than myself so when I'd slack off on journaling I wouldn't feel so bad coz I was the only one being affected -I know that's not the right mentality but having a blog was kinda like a solution to keep me accountable to myself while still fulfilling my desire to help others. But isn't it embarrasing to show your true thoughts and emotions to the public? Well for me it's something that I need to do. Blogging really helps me be more vulnerable (which is actually a strength I seek after) since letting out my stories online makes it a bit easier to talk about coz it's already out there.
This past Fall I was looking through the "Start Something" book by Tiger Woods which I received for free while I was part of the Tiger Woods Learning Center while in high school, and I got lots of affirming words, encouragement to keep on sharing my stories and not hiding my emotions while I'm at it.
"Letting those emotions out proves that you're confident enough to be honest about how you feel, that you have the power to release your feelings instead if keeping them locked inside like a nasty secret... Crying makes you flexible, lets you bend without breaking. It releases tension and gives you a fresh perspective on what's really important to you. Learn to let it go. You'll never regret it... The best advice I ever got was from my dad, and it wasn't about golf: Always be yourself." - Tiger (Start Something, p.39-40)
"Open Up. It's scary to share our feelings with others. After all, who wants to admit when we're sad, or angry, or jealous, or scared? It seems easier to keep those feelings safely locked inside, secret and private, so no one will think we're weak or immature. But what if sharing those feelings make things better? Your friends might feel exactly as you do, but if nobody talks about it, nobody wins. So take the first step. By showing that you're confident enough to open up and admit your feelings, you give others the power to do the same. Now you can begin to share ideas about how people handle their lives, and you can learn and grow from their experiences, just as they can benefit from yours. You're not alone in this world. Share yourself with others. "My father has always taught me that there are only two things in life that you have to do. You have to share and you have to care."~ Tiger (Start Something, p.78-79)
“There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion.” - Carl Jun. // “I have a duty to speak the truth as I see it and share not just my triumphs, not just the things that felt good, but the pain, the intense, often unmitigated pain. It is important to share how I know survival is survival and not just a walk through the rain.” ― Audre Lorde.
God also reminded me the importance of transparency in this excerpt of the "Pimp My Ride" post: " He tells you that He is not yet done. He starts to scrap off the dark tint on your windows but you interject, "That too! But my great grandmama and everyone before that always had dark tinted windows. It makes us look cool and it keeps people from snooping in our business." He lets you know that it's not your business to begin with (It's His business. You His masterpiece in the making) and that you need to be transparent so that the love He put in you could shine through to others and so that they could see how much interior work He has done so that they too could let Jesus in to pimp their ride (yep it's all about Him). He further explains that that dark tint was a product from The Oppressor & Co. they were selling it as "cool" yet they intended it to blind people from seeing the Light that was shining out of Jesus directly from Him or from other cars."____________________________________________________________________
"Malcom did invent himself as a black man more than once; there is much to learn in that, including the fact that self-creation may need to be repeated."// "Obama’s desire for “repeated acts of self-creation,” including writerly acts of self-creation, must be understood in terms of how the created self attaches to community, and is in a real sense fully created through that attachment."
When these legendary people wrote about themselves they were "nobodies" they were not doing it due to popular demand, they were doing it for themselves but with their eyes fixed on who they were becoming. I remember Professor Madison mentioned that it was amazing that Obama wrote an autobiography before people even knew about it him, it was like he knew he was going to be somebody someday. For me thinking about the final product /seeing the bigger picture of my identity and calling freaks me out so God has just been reminding me to stay faithful to the process coz He is the one who is molding me as I submit to His will and His ways.
♫ I don't rush me. I'm a work of art. I'll take my time right from the start. Usiniharakishe. I'm like a building. Starting from the foundations then Rising!... I'm a work in progress, a work of art. I dare not digress, I gotta play my part. Just like wine I'm gonna take my time. Realign, Redefine, Redesign. Don't worry darling I'm gonna be fine... Like a painter with her brush, like a potter with his clay,... I aint rushing so don't rush me. I'm a work in progress, a work of art. ♫
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"Go now, write it on a tablet for them, inscribe it on a scroll, that for the days to come it may be an everlasting witness. For these are rebellious people, deceitful children, children unwilling to listen to the Lord’s instruction. They say to the seers, “See no more visions!” and to the prophets, “Give us no more visions of what is right! Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions. Leave this way, get off this path, and stop confronting us with the Holy One of Israel!” -<3-> Isaiah 30: 8-11-<3->
"You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen, for they are rebellious. But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do not rebel like that rebellious people; open your mouth and eat what I give you.” And he said to me, “Son of man, eat what is before you, eat this scroll; then go and speak to the people of Israel.” So I opened my mouth, and he gave me the scroll to eat. Then I looked, and I saw a hand stretched out to me. In it was a scroll, which he unrolled before me. On both sides of it were written words of lament and mourning and woe. Then he said to me, “Son of man, eat this scroll I am giving you and fill your stomach with it.” So I ate it, and it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth. He then said to me: “Son of man, go now to the people of Israel and speak my words to them."(Ezekiel 2: 7-10 -3:1-4)
So you see as I write and create things God would reveal things to me and speak through me and it makes sense why this would happen because He is present with me as I am writing and He is THE Creator so He likes being involved with such creative projects ;) And if you think about it the writers of The Bible were humans like us but they wrote under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. So creating and writing can activate the prophetic -and prophecy's not all about giving correction and exposing division, but also giving hope and encouragement, painting a picture of the future :)
5. For Reconciliation: Last Spring I went to watch a one-woman show by Fanshen was awesome.
So public expressions such as plays, videos and blogging can be used as a tool for reconciliation. And this became my main goal for a long time especially when it came to InterVarsity but after a while it was hurting and disillusioning to hear that people in my intended audience did not even care to read what I wrote. But I still kept sharing but it looked like nothing was changing while I was just wasting my time talking to myself on my blog so I decided to stop and look for other ways to reconcile... But something I learnt is that love doesn't insist on it's own way and that I don't need to change who I am to try and reconcile. Anyway the message is, if you're trying to use your art for reconciliation just keep at it, give your love by all means whether or not it's being received because Love never fails. Love conquers all. And you don't need to give up on your strengths in order to focus all your energy on your weakness, which is what I did coz at the end of the day, if you don't succeed you'll be burnt out, and all weakness. Also if you're doing it for audiences, be open to reach everyone not just the intended audience. Writing can be a way to serve, some people count it as a spiritual gift, so it's not in vain. Don't be driven by how many likes and comments you get, just focus on the quality, giving your heart through writing and creating.
♫ Till we find our place, on the path unwinding. In the circle, the circle of life. ♫
________________________________________________________________________6. For Africa - In the Fall one of my friends shared the video below, it's by a Kenyan now living in the states and it was awakening me... to the need to be me... the need to create, sing, live. I need to live. Also it's important to share my story for myself because, "Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter."- Chinua Achebe. It's time for Africa to Rise Up. It's been really cool to see people starting blogs and this was posted on the Black Student Union page the other day:
Dear All, Are you interested in journalism, photography, blogging, poetry, writing, and or/editing? Do you want to gain experience working on a newsletter or have an avenue to publish your work? The Black Student Union will be creating a newsletter to centralize the experiences of African American/Black students at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Since there has been a narrative of anti-blackness in the news recently with the tragic killings of teens Trayvon Martin and Renisha McBride, the recent hate crime against a Black student at San Jose State University, and the numerous acts of racism in Santa Barbara through forms of cultural appropriation, racially themed parties, and micro-aggression's; the Black Student Union is using the newsletter as a medium to create our own counter-narrative which will display Black people in a more positive light and dismantle negative stereotypes. The goal of the newsletter is to showcase the real experiences, culture, and identity of Black students through our writing, poetry, artwork, and the multiple other talents students have. The newsletter will be printed and distributed quarterly, and our supplemental Word Press online journal and blog will be updated monthly. **The Word Press will also include a section for blogs, so if you currently have a blog or are interested in creating one, this will be a great way to broaden your audience and legitimize your emotions through writing. We want the newsletter to be as transparent as possible, and include ideas and content of all students who wish to be involved, including the naming of the newsletter. If you wish to join the newsletter team, which will work on choosing the content of the newsletter, editing and layouts please contact Kashira Ayers. If you do not want to be directly involved in the process of creating the newsletter, but would like to submit articles, short stories, poetry, pictures, and other things that you think should be included please submit this to blackpress.ucsb@gmail.com by January 5, 2014. This gives you the Winter Break to write freely without the stress of writing papers for class or studying for exams. To help inspire ideas, we've included a list of possible themes for writings in the newsletter but don't let these limit you. You have complete freedom of creating a unique piece to showcase your experience as a Black student at UCSB.
-What it means to be a Black Student at UCSB
-Black Culture
-Black Hair
-Opinions about Current Events
-Book Reviews (a review about a great book you've read over the break)
-The current condition of Black people in America
-Living on the Black Scholars Hall.. What are your opinions of it?
-Poetry and Short stories about your identity
-Mental Health articles/pieces
-Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday
-Holiday Celebrations: Christmas, Kwanza, etc.
-Cultural Appropriation
-Black community around UCSB
-Black Studies Major and post grad careers
***Also, this is not a competition. We will try our best to ensure that all work gets publicized in some form or another. Again, if you want to submit your work to the newsletter, please do so by January 5, 2014. There will be a meeting on Friday January 10, 2014 at 2pm. Location TBA, to discuss the name submission, content, layout, and distribution of the newsletter. Contact Kashira if you have any questions/concerns. Have a great Winter Break! (Looks like Africa is singing a New song! posts: REAL Identity, Africa ARISE!)
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7. To Create a Whole New World!
Times are changing and we are the generation who will usher in a whole new world and the time has come.
THIS IS A WAR CRY! A CALL FROM THE CREATOR: LISTEN. CREATE. WRITE. SPEAK. PAINT. DRAW. SING. DANCE. LIVE. LOVE. BE! =)
Why is this call so urgent ? And why is it a war cry?? Like I said the time's are changing and it's time for us to redefine and realign ourselves with the creator of the universe and the destiny and calling He has on our lives for such a time as this. The world's changing. The darkness is getting even darker and it is our duty to let the light of God within us shine even brighter. Our gifts and talents are powerful weapons against the powers of darkness of this present evil age that is out to oppress us and divide us. We need to use our God-given talents to spread Truth, create peace, love and unity. Yes this is the Revolution! (<-warning, that post is really intense. I'll break it down later). The kingdoms are about to go head to head (post: The Kingdoms). There's even war between the Sciences and Humanities & The Arts... Don't get me wrong I love science but it's only when we turn to science as our salvation that is wrong... more like wicked, you have no clue what science and technology is being used to create! (post: The Beast and the Big boys) You may think those revealations are crazy but creative power can be dangerous, just depends on what we're using it for, more like who we're using it for. K anyway, Yeshua, the King of Glory, is inviting us to an adventure, to share this whole new world with Him. Sing out your freedom! Sing a new song! It's time! Rise and Shine! =)
(P.S: If you don't know what I'm talking about in the 'crazy' posts I've shared you can start at: Beauty & the Beast: Prologue for explanation. Also feel free to ask questions and share comments :)
Dear Families...
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| Jesus came as a Lamb but He's coming back as a Lion! |
Psalm 96
1 Oh sing to the Lord a new song;sing to the Lord, all the earth!
2 Sing to the Lord, bless His name;
tell of His salvation from day to day.
3 Declare His glory among the nations,
His marvelous works among all the peoples!
4 For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods.
5 For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols, but the Lord made the heavens.
6 Splendor and majesty are before Him;
strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength!
8 Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
bring an offering, and come into His courts!
9 Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness; tremble before Him, all the earth!
10 Say among the nations, “The Lord reigns!
Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved;
He will judge the peoples with equity.”
11 Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice;
let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
12 let the field exult, and everything in it!
Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy
13 before the Lord, for He comes,
for He comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world in righteousness,
and the peoples in His faithfulness.
While in the deep darkness I saw the Light. He said that He is Coming SOON!
Background
This has been in my drafts since May 2012. I knew God wanted me to share it but I kept avoiding it coz family is a subject that's close to my heart so it's really hard to talk about... especially in the heat of all the things that were going on... then I forgot about it but here we are back in the desert and it's time to face this in order to stop going round in circles. Also, later in the Fall of 2012 I took the Adolescent Psychology class and a lot of the material reminded me about my life as well as my family's. God has been forcing me to face my issues through my classes, wish I paid better attention though (depression was distracting). Don't have those notes with me right now so I'll just share my stories, it won't be sound scholastic but try to learn something. (I tend to write a lot and give too much background info so you can skip ahead to the main message: *A TIME TO HEAL.*A CALL TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY. *A CALL TO WORSHIP. *REVIVAL AND RESTORATION. (and if you don't like to read stories you can just watch the videos I posted for confirmation and also listen to the music).
The American Dream
Ok I can write a lot but I have to cut this short... So it was God who opened a door for us to get here. It was His will for my family to be here and He used my sister Florence to bring us here. She has sacrificed so much for our family. She brought us here so that we could get an education and take advantage of all the opportunities offered here, for a better life. The American dream. She achieved so much on her own in spite of the obstacles so she knew that there was nothing we couldn't do as a family. But things panned out differently than she expected...
Remember my paper, also blog series: Reforming the American System, Reforming Education? that was inspired by my personal as well as family experiences while here in America. But what's wrong with the American dream? It's just striving for a better life? Well there's nothing wrong with working hard to achieve your dreams. The problem comes in when it's "Money over everything, money on my mind." Cause there's obviously more to life than that. "God over everything, love on my mind."
"The American Paradox" -"soaring wealth and shrinking spirit." He states that: "More than ever, we have big houses and broken homes, high incomes and low morale, more comfortable cars and more road rage. We excel at making a living but we often fail at making a life. We celebrate our prosperity but yearn for purpose. We cherish our freedoms but long for connection. In an age of plenty we feel spiritual hunger." (Myers, 2009) "The challenge for wealthy nations, then is to foster improving standards of living without encouraging materialism and consumerism that displaces the deep need to belong." (David Myers)
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1. A TIME TO HEAL
So why didn't we just come to America and excel like Flo wanted us to. Coz we were all broken. Well I can speak for myself. I was a mess before I left Kenya and a bigger mess when I came here. I was depressed, the past was holding me back and I needed healing, emotional and spiritual healing (post: Remember). Here's a fb message I wrote my family (we had a thread of messages going, that's one way we kept in touch with my sisters in Kenya):
- January 6
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2. A CALL TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY
What I managed to share with my fam was about my bro Moses... Anyone from Kenya knows that America is not the best place to raise children so it was hard for my younger siblings especially Moses. He came when he was beginning his teens so he was in Junior high. At home everyone was busy with their own lives, school and work, and something huge was missing... the feeling of love and togetherness we once shared. When we arrived we did more stuff together (bowling, tennis, etc) but then we stopped... why? Flo stopped initiating. She was tired of always being the one to bring the family together like it was only up to her and no one else cared. Well, we were all pre-occupied with our own lives, and for me with my selfish depression. And there came a time when Mozez started really changing and one day me and my mum found out some secrets. We found out that he was smoking weed. My mum and I were shocked, hurt and afraid when we found out. We didn't expect that from Moses though I had sensed that something was off. We found him in the park and we called him to the car and confronted him about it. My mum was quick to belt out her disappointments and we questioned him. I really wanted to understand, "Why?" I asked with tears in my eyes, he finally confessed, in an honest voice that I recognized as my baby brother's, "Because of mum and Olivia." The schools he went to were not good schools (low graduation rates) and his friends were not the best influences. But Moses was always ambitious. Though he was surrounded by negative peer pressure he didn't let his friends influence him because he had his family. But when he would come home it's like he walked into a war zone. Him and Olivia always got into fights and Olivia would go tell on him to my parents and they always took her side and blamed Moses, even though most times it was Olivia who started the fight. And this made Moses really angry coz my parents didn't listen to him. Another thing, when Olivia and I went to the Onething conference, I mentioned in the Let go. Let love flow. post that we had a cry session with Livy on New Years, what was that about? Moses. That night during worship, God baptized my heart with anguish for my brother and all I could do was weep and pray in tongues coz I didn't have the words to pray about what I was feeling. So when we got back to Lorna's apt that night I had a talk with Olivia and she too started crying. I told her that God made me feel how Moses felt and convicted me of my guilt. We stopped doing things together as a family, I stopped initiating coz I was consumed with myself, and when Moses would ask me and Olivia to play with him on the xbox or football we would say no coz that was guy stuff and we didn't want to. Then we'd tell him to get off the xbox coz we wanted to watch our shows and since he's the only boy he always lost the vote. Also he had less attention from my parents coz they were much busier with work. So Moses was feeling left out and unloved and he would let this out aggressively and also by spending less time at home and more time with his friends who were bad influences. Then my family would always lecture him about his lifestyle and tell him to get his life together and plan the future but without us seeing his pain and our contribution to it. So that day at the meeting I shared this with my mum and Flo. Also here's one of the messages I sent them.
My mum did have a talk with Moses and apologized. I was touched by what he told her, he said that I was the only one who didn't judge him. When he felt like everyone was against him, I was the only one on his side. I don't want to take credit for this coz it was God who opened my eyes to see him like God saw him and loved him. It's not that I approved of his actions, I just decided to love him regardless, to make him feel loved and seen. With much sowing: prayer, fasting, encouragement from me and the rest of my family, God did a mighty work in Moses heart, filling him with hope. Though there was a lot of factors working against him, including his own teachers and administrators (who even admitted holding him back) he graduated from high school. My sis, Florence, told him about a job he could apply for at UCI and he got it! He's working as a lifter and getting paid well. He's saving for a car... and the sky is not even the limit. Things are getting better and better. God has great plans for him and I'm so overjoyed for all He has done already! Thank You Jesus! Here's a video I made for his birthday :-) (Also I'm not putting his business out there like he's the only one who had secrets. Here's some of mine: Quick testimony! and I'm yet to share more of my stories, it's all for His glory! God makes beautiful things out of the dust, He makes beautiful things out of us! post: Pimp My Ride :)
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2. A CALL TO WORSHIP: Sing a New Song!
*Finances & Living Situations: So when we came here Flo showed us all the ropes and helped us get on our feet. Like I mentioned, family dynamics changed since mum was not working and also going to school. My dad was working longer hours including night shifts and it was taking a toll on him and his health. People usually say that Kenyan men can't survive in America (*not compatible with the life here) because of their egos. My dad was his own boss back in Kenya, he made his own hours. He didn't go to college but he took a business course and had years of experience running his own businesses and he made ends meet for the family. But he couldn't just come to America and start a business just like that, so he had to take the jobs he could find but it reached a point that he couldn't take it anymore and decided to go back to Kenya to restart his businesses and revitalize some of them then come back here when there was a steady flow of income. For my dad it wasn't just about his ego, he was willing to do whatever for us, but he was concerned for his health and he had hope that his plan would work out, plus he wanted to go back to fight for some of our land that was stolen. He had a bunch of court cases to attend. My family didn't agree with his plan and wanted him to stay... I understood both sides... my dad left though (he's being going back and forth)... It was just the timing that wasn't the best, with Moses' situation he needed a male figure around whether or not they were seeing eye to eye, my mum was left in the apartment with most of the bills, Yvonne helped out with the bills but with her baby coming up she couldn't help as much. So my sis Flo, out of the kindness of her big heart came up with a plan. She decided to let my mum, bro and sis move in with her that way my mum could work less and start taking nursing classes. It was a tough transition time, Mozez didn't wanna move coz it was his senior year in high school, then some drama erupted so my sister's boyfriend took him in, so he stayed in Anaheim with Yvonne.
Anyway, there was much more drama all over the place. Each time I came home I was happy but also sad to see the state of things... I remember one time I told God that I was waiting for Him to breakthrough, but what He told me was challenging and convictin, "I am waiting for you to be yourself."... I'll come back to that.... So Flo had originally wanted my mum and us to stay at her house for just one year at most as we waited for my dad's return but plans changed, things were taking longer than expected. And all this was taking a toll on Flo, she's all about having a plan and keeping it. Also she has sacrificed so much for my family (even though she has her own) over the years and hasn't received much back from us, just more heartache and pain it seemed. So she decided to "kick out" my mum and sis, she said this because she was desperate for change and suffering more than we knew, When this would happen we would have meetings to talk about the problems and so we can come up with a plan of action, or we would just write to each other messages like the one below.
Also I watched this video and Cindy's story reminded me a lot about my family and I feel what she teaches, "Commanding your morning" aka "singing a new song" is what is going to bring breakthrough and restoration. Check out her story it's really cool, almost unbelievable but with God all things are possible! =)
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3. REVIVAL AND RESTORATION: God is doing a New thing!
So remember when God told me, "I am waiting for you to remember who you are. I am waiting for you to be yourself," as if that was the answer to all my family problems. So when the problems got intense for me, not just at home but at school as well. I forced to turn to God. I had so many questions for him. Why did He bring my family and I here? To suffer? Was that His plan? Why are we here? Why am I here? When I started asking Him these questions and seeking Him so desperately (fasting, worship and His Word) coz I had caved myself in and there was no where else I could turn. So that's when He started giving me the bigger picture and the purpose to the pain, kinda like the story of Joseph. And He even started revealing more about our identity, which revealed more of our calling. Related post: REAL Identity.
Here's a message I wrote to my sisters:
******GOD HAS SPECIAL PLANS FOR THE MACHARIAS********
Charlene Wambũi Macharia
******GOD HAS SPECIAL PLANS FOR THE MACHARIAS********
- November 18, 2011
Hey Oh yeah, last Monday when I went to the prayer night. The guy prayed and the only thing he said was that money is a big issue for our family.
Ok that's just a snippet of our long convo. It actually begun with me sharing with them this story: Hello Africans... -My experience of God setting me free with His Spirit and waking me up to who I am and the times we're living in. And throughout the convo singing is brought up, we also talk about it more in later but I didn't include the whole thing for sake of length. But yeah these are the days... things are changing... the kingdoms of this world are more corrupt than you think. The government will need to be overthrown, yes Heaven is coming down. Jesus is coming and He also wants to fill us with more of His power and glory so that we rule with Him. He wants to empower us so that we can prepare the way for Him. Lots of changes are coming so it's imperative to turn to Jesus our Redeemer, He will protect us and restore our fortunes, all for His glory. And this message isn't just for those who happen to have Jewish roots somewhere in their bloodline, it's for everyone since He is doing a new thing, He is creating a united people, "One New Man." K this is long enough, you can check out the video below, God revealed stuff to me when I was making it so pay attention to the scripture. Here's more scripture He gave me for my family: Jeremiah 31:31-34 and Joel 2:23-29. Peace =) Here's another confirmation video:
Summary: We need to Remember who we are (Look to God), We need to love and reconcile, We need to unite and fight for each other (praying and worshipping together), We need to sing a New Song! -- instead of talking about problems it's time to declare a new day. It's time to speak life and take a hold of God's promises by faith. More about that in a post I'm working on called, "Resting Place." And yeah, Jesus is coming soon so let's get it together! =)
Oh yeah, my family never came together in worship and prayer... but this Sunday it's gonna happen. Please pray for us for healing and breakthrough. Also these are my stories, I haven't talked about all the problems and challenges we've faced, but I'm sharing this as a testimony. To God be the glory! Great things He has done and greater things He is yet to do! PRAISE GOD! =D
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