Search Me. Test Me. Lead Me.

" Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting. "

(Psalm 139: 23-24)

This is such a simple prayer but when said from the heart, it can mess with your life as you know it. (Keeps messing with me each time I pray it).

Search Me, Test Me

In the preceding verses of this Chapter, David acknowledges that God is our Maker hence He knows everything about us. He knows us better than we know ourselves. So this part of the prayer is asking God to reveal to us what He already knows. Asking Him, the One who sees our inmost being, asking Him to open our eyes to see ourselves as He sees us hence to convict us of the underlying desires of our hearts and the content of our thoughts. Such a perspective of yourself can mess you up since it's kinda asking God to air out all our dirty laundry before your eyes. It's embarrasing even when no other parties are involved (no outside observers, just you and God).

See if there is any offensive way in me

Once again, God sees everything so this is asking Him to give you His vision.

Other translations say: Point out anything in me that offends you (or "any grievous way"). This part of the prayer is really eye-opening to me because most times I just try not to offend other people and this verse just convicted me of how I don't usually think, "If I do or don't this will it offend you God?" For the longest time my eyes have been fixed on the world trying to please it, trying not to offend it, to maintain "peace" and this prayer fixes my eyes back to my Maker, the One who fully knows me yet still loves me, that my focus may be pleasing Him and not grieving Him, that He may align my heart's desires and thoughts with His. For He is the giver of true peace.

And lead me in the way everlasting

Like I mentioned before, asking God to give us His perspective can be wrecking because the ugliness in our hearts is exposed to us. This is between you and God but the accuser likes to roam around and do his thing. The devil loves to use such painful truth against us. He wants to bring in shame. It is shame that keeps us from approaching God's mercy seat with confidence that God knows our ugliness yet He still loves us and He extends His grace to us. So it's important to keep the right perspective, God is exposing the sin (or brokenness) hidden in me not to condemn me but so that I can ran to Him, surrender it all to Him and find rest in His arms of Love.

Each time I pray this prayer God shows me a lie that He wants to kill, a hurt that He wants to heal or an emptiness that He wants to fill.

So my challenge for us is to keep praying this prayer.

God is leading us to rest. So let's keep praying for Him to rid us of anything in us that is not of Him. That we may find our identity in nothing else but in Him. So let us face the fire of refining and the winds of refreshing. Lord have Your Way! All this for Your glory and for our good! God, You are so Awesome! =)

All we want is You. Take Over! Till we are consumed by nothing else but You! :)