Hair Revival :)

Going Natural - The Journey Back to LIFE =)

"Arise, shine, 

for your light has come, 

and the glory of the LORD 
rises upon you." 

(Isaiah 60:1)

*Identity ~ Know who you are, where you are from and where you are going~ *Ethnic Identity = One's sense of belonging to an ethnic group and the part of one's thinking, perception, feelings, and behavior that is due to ethnic group membership. (Rotheram & Phinney, 1983) *Pharoah is DEAD!!! =)

GOING NATURAL - Story of my hair. Story of my Life :)

I feel like my spiritual journey and that of my hair is one and the same: Natural -> Chemically Changed (damaged) -> Transition (Both natural and chemically damaged at the same time) -> Big chop -> Back to natural. So in this post I'll use my hair as an illustration as I share what God's been drilling me about identity. (I have pictures of my hair journey in the video at the end :)

1. Natural (Home) - I already shared about my relationship with God when I was younger in the The Bubble post. I described those years as "The Glory Days" coz I felt like I was flying - I experienced rest, safety, joy, peace and all that goodness that comes from relationship with God (Knowing Him as my ever-present Father -provider and defense, Jesus as my savior and best friend, and the Holy Spirit as my guide) and it overflowed from within me and into other areas of my life like school. As for my natural hair when I was younger, it was black, long and really thick and bushy. I remember crying every morning when my mum brushed it. I loved it though. Every night I loved combing it into an afro - I loved the big hair look - then I would braid it into matutas before I slept.

2. Chemically Changed/Damaged Hair - In the third grade my mum decided to perm my hair. She said it would be easier to manage. It was her decision but I didn't object, I just went with it. When it got permed it looked longer (obviously) but it was still thick and people loved it. People would always comment about it's length and thickness. I kinda didn't like all the attention I was getting just because of my hair's length so I usually had it up in a pony tail. In the first few years my hair looked good and healthy but then I had this bad experience at the salon this one time in the sixth grade when the hair dresser who intentionally left the chemical relaxer on my hair for too long (out of jealousy) and so my hair got overprocessed and like half of my hair in the back fell off (and the hair dresser was laughing. So cruel!). After that my hair was never the same. Yes it grew back after some time but it was thin, lifeless, unhealthy and brown. My spiritual life: I'm not done with the story of my life series but my spiritual life suffered the same fate. A slow fade, a breaking down process that stripped me of my freedom, my joy and rest and left me barely hanging on; enslavement. It got to the point that I didn't know how to be myself anymore. And this demise was also as a result of me choosing to trust other people's opinions of me (the world) rather than only trusting God- fixing my eyes on Him and standing firm in my identity in Him (His loved daughter). So yeah the world broke me, burst my bubble and what was natural to me at first seemed so far out of reach.

3. Transition- The first state of this stage is one of compromise. The dissonance and dissatisfaction that is caused by this state is what the leads to what I call the desert season. In Psychology, it's known as the exploration stage and it may have the following "triggers" (from my class notes):

• Cultural differences between own group and the dominant group. 
• The images and stereotypes of own group held by society. 
• Experiences of prejudice and discrimination. 
• Invisibility and lack of role models. 

MOSES in the Desert (Round 1) I faced all those triggers which forced me into the desert to figure myself out.  Like I said in the Self- Esteem post God told me that I'm going to be in the desert until I'm confident in my identity. But over Winter Break God showed me something else I hadn't  noticed about the desert season. Well, He probably taught me that before but I got distracted as usual lol :( ... so He reminded me about my people. When I was at home my mum was watching TBN and the story of Moses was on. I was on my laptop. And after that Moses movie was over another version begun. So I took notice and decided to watch it. This is what stood out to me: Moses was Hebrew by birth/blood but Egyptian by upbringing and culture. It reached a point in his life when he tried to claim both identities at the same time but then faced a trigger that sent him running away into the desert. What was the trigger? He faced rejection from his own people. First the Hebrews and then the Egyptians (those that raised him).

"One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. Looking this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, “Why are you hitting your fellow Hebrew?” The man said, “Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian?” Then Moses was afraid and thought, “What I did must have become known.” When Pharaoh heard of this, he tried to kill Moses, but Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in Midian, where he sat down by a well. (Exodus 2: 11-15)

Moses stayed in the desert where he got married and had a son. "Moses named him Gershom, saying  "I have become a foreigner in a foreign land." During that long period, the Pharoah (king of Egypt ) died. The Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out, and their cry for help because of their slavery went up to God. God heard their groaning and he remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob. So God looked on the Israelites and was concerned about them." (Exodus 2:22-25) Then Exodus 3 is about Moses and the burning bush. God called Moses and told him that he wanted to use him to deliver his people from slavery. This was Moses' response: "But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” You can read the whole chapter. So basically Moses felt inadequate. He felt like he didn't belong, yet God was sending him to the people who rejected him. But God told him "I will be with you." And in Exodus 4 after Moses whined  some more, God told him that He would send his brother Aaron with him. "Then Moses and Aaron went and gathered together all the elders of the people of Israel. Aaron spoke all the words that the Lord had spoken to Moses and did the signs in the sight of the people. And the people believed; and when they heard that the Lord had visited the people of Israel and that he had seen their affliction, they bowed their heads and worshiped." (Exodus 4: 29-31)

4. Big chop-> Back to Natural - So how does all that apply to me and now? Let's tie it all together. In the Journey post I shared how this past Fall was the most restless time for me. Why? Because I was still in a desert season, I couldn't see any changes happen so that was frustrating for me. But at the end of the quarter when I finally stilled myself I started seeing what God was trying to teach me that quarter (which He then repeated to me over the break). So why are we still in the desert?

• My People = God was reminding me about my ethnic identity and my people. It's not that I had forgotten them, I just felt rejected by them. But during the break God showed me how that stemmed from my past experiences- how the devil used those close to me and those I looked up to bring discouragement. So God was showing me that it was not an issue of rejection (people actually hating me)  rather it was spiritual warfare - the devil's schemes that caused me to be insecure in my identity. God has been reminding me that I am a leader by identity so the devil brought in insecurities to keep me from initiating/ leading like I used to (positively influencing others just by being myself and sharing my life with others). I had started  going to BSU in the beginning of Fall and I put that to the test. I initiated with people and they were nice and friendly (The devil lied. I wasn't rejected :)
• "My People" part 2 - God was reminding me what He taught me about the prophetic destiny of  people of African descent. I re-read the REAL Identity post and this stood out to me: "The lady (she's white) who was leading worship at IHOP gave a prophetic utterance from God about the black community. She started by saying, "Many of you are confused and wondering why revival has not yet happened. That's because I'm waiting for the generals to take their place. I'm waiting for the African Americans to wake up and lead." She went on by saying that we are being called to rise up in leadership of the worship movement using our talents and gifts- to sing, to rap, to dance, to preach- and that we are going to have the loudest voice." When I went to BSU during Fall, I felt like crying when I saw and heard the stories of the challenges that black people still face (and I could relate with some of them). But I also felt like God was also feeling that pain even more than we do and I knew He's up to something big. 
• Preparation of Deliverers- God is great and mighty but He chooses to use weak humans to partner with Him for His power to be displayed and for all the glory to go to Himself; also because He is our Father, He loves us and likes to do stuff with His children :) So I was feeling like Moses, inadequate. But God told me that's the point. It's not about me. It's all about Him. I am weak. He is strong. And so what makes all the difference is that He will be with me so all I need to do is Trust Him -Find rest in His Love and just follow Him as He leads even when I don't see the full picture. Also, this is my diary if you haven't noticed lol so I usually talk about myself but this not just about myself. He is doing this on a larger scale. I can see this when I look at things from aerial view. This quarter is a blank page for me and I'm learning to Trust God and to go with His flow. He directed me to Impact. My friend Charity invited me. In the first meeting of the quarter they were sharing their experience from the Impact conference they attended over the break and Christina went over Impact's mission statement. It was really cool to see the fire they all had to share the gospel- the Good News of God's Love through Jesus Christ- to our campus. When Charles was sharing what He learnt from the Impact conference, what he said stood out to me. Something like,"God uses the most unexpected people to do great things. To show off His power." I'm not sure if he was referencing Gideon in the Bible. I think so. Can't remember. Anyway being there was really encouraging for me since I was a little down that week. So God was reminding me the bigger picture: We are not forgotten. He is preparing deliverers and uniting them for His harvest. I believe the harvest in the black community is coming soon. This quarter!  Praise God! =) "Y'all I am soo excited for what the Lord is doing in and will do through Impact UCSB! My heart is flooded with joy when I think about who we are becoming through the power of the Spirit of God at work in us! You all will be a part of changing first our campus, the community and the world through the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! Can't wait!" (Christina Blackwell 1/22/13) I went to IV church that Sunday and the team from YWAM gave confirmation that this is the year of great revival in America. It was exciting to see how ready IV Church is to bring in the harvest. We had a joyful celebration as we worshipped Jesus, The Lord of the harvest. Reminds me of my experience at the Real conference.
• InterVarsity- Like I shared in the REAL Identity post, God taught me about about identity through my experiences in InterVarsity which is a multi-ethnic fellowship. All the drama was due to the cultural differences within the fellowship. The devil preyed upon our differences and insecurities to attack and further divide us. God led me to call it out (bring it light/ make it public) and He told me it would lead to people misunderstanding hence rejecting me but He said that there would be unity in the end ["A time to breakdown and a time to build up"]. That's why I was frustrated when nothing had changed in the Fall. But then I saw this posted on the BSU wall during Kwanzaa: "There can be no black-white unity until there is first some black unity.... We cannot think of uniting with others, until after we have first united among ourselves. We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves. -Malcolm X [UMOJA (Unity) - Day 1 #aBSUKWANZAA] and "If the fingers of one hand quarrel, they cannot pick up the food."Kenyan proverb. If we cannot work together but are from the same place, same origin, and face similar struggles then our dysfunction can only end in our own demise. [Ujamaa- Cooperative Economics A BSU Kwanzaa Day 3] That was more confirmation why the desert season wasn't over. God wanted to re-unite me with my family and the black community on campus. As for InterVarsity right now, from what I've seen so far... God is moving in the Latino community and they have been focusing on Identity (which is cool since God showed me some stuff about their Real Identity and prophetic as well. They are having their LaFe (Latino Fellowship) conference this weekend so you can pray for them. And they are planing to have a LaFe Experience at InterVarsity's Common Ground (Leading Common Ground = Sharing their spiritual and cultural gifts with the rest of the fellowship- which is essentially what God has been telling me to do: Remember who I am, be myself and share my life with people).

• PHAROAH IS DEAD =) Moses stayed in the desert until the Pharoah who wanted to kill him died and it was after that that God sent him back as a deliverer (Desert- Round 2). I was thinking back to the visions that people received at InterVarsity's Prefall Leaders Retreat and all the conflict ones took place last year and the remaining ones that haven't yet come to pass involve unity in the Body of Christ and revival breaking out on campus. At the beginning of this quarter I remembered Marissa's vision (feel free to correct me on the specifics) : There was a shooter on campus and Marissa and Ekaete ( UCSB InterVarsity Staff at that time) were running away from the shooter while holding hands but then their hands part since they ran in different directions. Marissa was running looking behind coz she thought he was behind her but once she looked ahead he was right in front of her with the gun pointing her... At the end her and Ekaete were together again but there was a dead body in a bag. That was a weird one and I didn't understand what it meant at all last year. I was just praying that it was not to be taken literally. So when I remembered the dream at the beginning of the quarter I thought it represented how the staff leaders that InterVarsity started with Fall of 2011 went their separate ways: Ekaete was the first to leave since she couldn't fundraise, then Marissa stayed on staff still Spring 2012 then moved to Wisconsin, then Paul left SB after Fall 2012, then for the month of January InterVarsity doesn't have staff since they are not all fully funded yet. But what about the dead body in a bag? I didn't quite get that until now. As I was writing the previous bullet point God gave me a revelation! I noticed the ethnic differences. Marissa is white and Ekaete is black. They were holding hands at first: unity through Jesus (their common ground) but then there was a shooter on campus which made them ran and they ran in different directions = spiritual attacks from the enemy to the multiethnic body of Christ which brought division (segregation). BUT in the end... guess what??? Somebody died!!! Who's the mystery corpse??? Well let me break it down for you: Both Marissa and Ekaete were there in the beginning and they are also present in the end. So the mystery corpse is... <drum roll>... THE MYSTERY SHOOTER!!! Oh wow it get's more interesting ( I love it when Jesus let's me in on mystery solving! Thanks Jesus! This is fun! :) Do you remember that suspense between when the shooter had the gun pointed to Marissa's head to the end when there's a dead body in a bag but both Ekaete and Marissa were present? What was that??? Why the suspense? Where was Ekaete at that time? How did the mystery shooter end up dead and in a bag?????
• 
  
• HAHAHA I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED!!! :D (I'm getting a little excited here if you haven't noticed LOL) The mystery shooter is sly. He made Marissa believe that she was running away from him yet she was actually running straight to him and he was ready to finish her off. But Ekaete who had exited the scene was actually practicing her fighting skills so during the suspense scene Ekaete jumps in like a ninja and kicks his butt. And she doesn't just slap him around, she seals the deal by killing him until he's DEAD lol and putting his DEAD body in a bag. So in the end Marissa is saved and reunited with Ekaete. The threat to life and unity is done away with. HALLELUYAH! Do I need to decode? Well, in case you didn't get the last part... God is just giving me more confirmation about what He reminded me in the Prison Break post. Well before that, in the Colors of the Wind and Let My People Go God showed me that He created diversity not just for the sake of beauty but also as a safeguard for us. Multiethnicity in the body of Christ is actually a weapon against the devil's schemes to keep people from seeing the whole Truth due to generational and cultural blindspots. He showed us through the visions He gave people at Prefall and before that how different forms of racism such cultural and institutional racism exist and create unequality hence disunity. And He showed me that what was happening in InterVarsity was representative of what's happening in America. Anyway, back to the previous vision... The Mystery Shooter is Pharoah who wants to kill the deliverers (the body of Christ) before God uses them to deliver others. He is also Racism -a wall that divides the body of Christ by ethnicity/culture [Note! When I say racism I don't mean hate. Check the Colors of the Wind post for definitions. It's more like barriers to sincere/deep love as a result of inequalities] The shooter, the wall of racism, has a gun pointed at Marissa (reps white people) -God gave me the meaning of the vision He had given us: Racism was going on and was the reason behind the unequality hence disunity in the fellowship. All the staff we had were white (Ekaete was the first to leave) and so they didn't notice since they shared the same cultural perspective so God was using different students (from different ethnicities) who saw this to bring it light for there to be true unity but they were silenced or ignored as a result of being misunderstood. Now let's get to the fun part.
• God was telling us that He is the only One who can fight our battles and bring down the wall of racism (just meeting up to talk won't cut it since it's an unseen wall-> spiritual warfare). So He just wanted us to wait on Him together. Wait for His Spirit to break down the wall and bring unity (same vision: seeing the whole Truth) but the devil brought disunity and separation. So God has been using this desert season to prepare African Americans to lead the worship and intercession movement ("waiting on God") which leads to spiritual walls coming down. Yesterday I just started singing: Joshua fought the battle of Jericho and the walls came tumbling down!  And it's totally what's going to happen! Halleluyah! The wall of racism is going down! Pharoah is dead! We're about to seal the deal! Well, God will seal us with His glory as we wait on Him (being still, praying and worshipping) and it is His great power that will seal the deal! Glory to God! =) So yeah, let's not fight each other church; the battle is against unseen principalities. Let's love each other and worship Jesus. He is fighting for us! :-)
• Back to me and my hair lol. So after a year of transitioning I decided to do the big chop! I cut it myself and it was the best decision of my hair life. Before that the half that still had relaxer would always get super-tangled and it would take forever to detangle. But now I'm free! My hair is super curly but it's easy to manage when it's wet. I had braids for a while (protective styling). My sister bought me some hair products for natural hair so I've been trying different styles. (Oh yeah, I inspired her to go natural as well! :) As for my spiritual life, I'm still going natural. I'm still transitioning. I'm letting go and letting God. He is renewing my mind. Writing really helps! ("Freedom by Expression) I should be blogging everyday. But I know I need to do the big chop! Letting go completely (Psalm 24: 7-10). I have before, like at prefall but all the obstacles I faced keep setting me back. But God gave me hope that I'm on my way home. I need Him. I can't move forward without His presence. His glory. I know He wants to show me His glory but one thing that keeps me from drinking it in is I feel guilty going there alone. Resting in His Love and drinking His living water. I feel selfish, like He's too good for me to experience by myself that's why I try to invite people to join me in waiting for Him but then the disunity discourages me. But yeah, God told me to stop worrying about people, fix my eyes on Him, find rest in His Love and that's when He can use me to invite others in. I can't do it on my own. I need Him. So yeah God, I'm letting go. I want to flow. To overflow. So bring me to Life =) Let's wait on Him everybody! He's going to breakthrough! AMEN :)

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Confirmation Video Clip: Binding the Strongman over America. The Mystery Shooter aka "Pharoah" also goes by other names. We need to divorce this dude.

Update: Here's the video of my hair transition stage (aka compromise stage). Let's just say that times were tough hahaha. But Jesus kept bidding me to rest. To let Go and Let God. Baby Trevor learnt this lesson faster than I did =) Songs: Let me be your wings from Thumbelina and Once Upon a December from Anastasia. Featuring my cute nephew Trevor and my lil sis Olivia, the camera girl :) And Jesus singing over us with songs of deliverance: Restoration's Coming!! Haha =)

Prison Break! :D :D :D

"to proclaim freedom 

for the captives

and release from darkness 

for the prisoners"

(Isaiah 61)

About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!”

The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved —you and your household.” Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household. (Acts 16: 25-34)

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I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D It took me the whole day to get myself to be still enough to share this (well I did other stuff like I had class and I drank lots of tea, took many naps and made chicken veggie soup from scratch to fight a cold I could feel creeping in. Shindwe!) So this post has been in my drafts since last year (like many others) but I've been too distracted to finish it and post it. Or maybe this is the time I was meant to share it? Idk (Well, I've been distracted a lot- not resting in God- but God is merciful and faithful! :) Anyway, last year God gave me many messages concerning the year 2012. I had named this post Prison Break 2012. I was convicted that there's something special about that year ("midnight"). It was God who led me to learn it's significance so yeah, I was certain about it even as 2012 was coming to a close. But in the Fall He told me that it's not over. I learnt that the Hebrew year started in September and I felt God telling me that it's not over since the prophecies He gave me were concerning the Hebrew year so it overlaps into 2013. He gave me confirmation which I shared in previous posts like "Revolution" and "Soon." Anyway let's move on to the exciting message of this post! :D

FREEDOM IS COMING!!! - BLACK STUDIES REVELATIONS :D

It's funny (and sad) how easily I forget things lol. It's good that I started blogging. So yesterday (and on other occasions this quarter) I got hit by a bout of hopeless, lazy disillusionment. One of those: "What am I doing here?" You see I didn't have to come back to school this quarter since I got done with my major classes last quarter. So yesterday during the BSU (Black Student Union) meeting I told Wisdom that I felt like dropping all my classes -I was joking but serious. Then after Gospel choir I went to Shayne's and I was catching up with Christie and she asked me: "So you're taking classes just for fun?" Which made me think, "Why did I even choose those classes?!!" Then I went to bed (I had a funny dream that's not really relevant lol. Moving on...) and the next morning (today morning) God surprised me with answers (more like reminders/wake-up calls) during my Black Studies class ("The Sociology of the Black Experience" with Professor McAuley).

With Professor McAuley & Wisdom :-)

I got to class like 2 min late and I walked in just as the Professor was saying something about Christianity. (We've been reading and discussing the book, "The Philadelphia Negro" by Du Bois and when I said "we" I actually meant "they"- I've been a bad student but I shall repent lol). I sat down and I heard the rest of what he was saying. He talked about how "The Good Book" aka The Bible doesn't discriminate people based on race yet during the slavery days the white church either refused blacks to attend or they had a separate sitting area. So the whites refused to have communion with them (Common ground in Christ) and because of that the black church became a protest against racist Christianity (the hypocrisy of the white church). As people continued discussing, I kinda drifted off and this song randomly popped into my head, "The Battle is raging" by Laura Hackett and then I randomly remembered that I had heard the story behind the song. I kept this at the back of my mind and I didn't really get what God was trying to say until later. So midway through the class people seemed tired (I know I was!) so they weren't talking as much then the professor shared this "random" story. He said something like, "Just as an aside: Yesterday evening it was hazy and silent and I could have sworn that an earthquake was going to hit. I usually can tell, I'm like a dog when it comes sensing them lol. When I first came here (California) I could sense them and my predictions would come true. But it didn't happen yesterday but today morning the weather was the same, 'earthquake-y'" People laughed and he moved on with the lecture. Then towards the end of the class, he was like, "Oh yeah! I now remember why I shared that story... Why I brought up the earthquake thing is because people (who were sleepy in class) would be more awakened if an earthquake were to hit... but I'm not wishing an earthquake happens just for the sake of my class. Don't come jump me in the next class if a 7. something earthquake hits haha." And the class laughed and left.

I was definitely awakened by what he said (even though he was joking) and it reminded me of this post that was in my drafts. On my ride back to my apartment the puzzle pieces started coming together and I got more confirmation when I got home and re-watched the story behind the song. I laughed in excitement coz God had answered my questions from the previous night. He reminded me of stuff He already taught me. Check out the video below! So I had wondered, "Why I am I here?" and "Why did I choose those classes?" So I'm taking 2 Black Studies classes (the other one is "Africa in Film" with Professor Akudinobi) and Music 11 (Fundamentals in Music). Haha! :D Do you get it now? It's pretty much the same thing that God taught me in the REAL Identity, Prepare the Way!  and  African Diasporic Appreciation posts but apparently I keep forgetting (getting distracted and falling asleep).

PEOPLE OF AFRICAN DESCENT! I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU! FREEDOM IS COMING SOON!!! :D

God is doing something NEW in the desert season we are in. Change is coming! A Second Exodus! REVIVAL!!! God wants to WAKE US UP to our REAL IDENTITY. Our community is still under lots of oppression (spiritual warfare) but We are NOT FORGOTTEN! God has a plan to REDEEM us and use us in REDEMPTION of the Nations. God will make a way. He will bring Freedom. Re-read the Acts passage in the first section: our freedom will lead to freedom for many others. The means (from the passage, the video, my previous posts and The Bible): Music of His Word. A song. A NEW SONG. So sing a New Song to the Lord Africa! SING! I have more to share in my drafts. Like I said, it's not just about us, God is uniting His body and building His house to be a house of all nations =) Praise the LORD! Our Redeemer lives! :D

Oh yeah, an actual earthquake is coming but don't get hung up on that coz we're in the calm before the storm but when the storm hits no worries, we will rise above on eagles' wings! Glory to God! Praise Him! WOOHOO! :D Here's my new song (a spontaneous prayer song) I sung last April. Be blessed :)
Application: Let's be prepared :) Let's Put on the FULL Armor of God (more info in that post), and just praise Jesus and Love outloud! Love, Charlene =)

 

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Update: 5/29/2013 GOOD MORNING!

I set my alarm for 7 this morning though I had class at 10 coz I've been waking up late... which has also enabled me to be spiritually lazy (asleep). So yeah I decided to wake up early to pray but I just went to the bathroom, looked at my sleepy eyes then I went back to bed lol. Shortly after I was woken up by an earthquake and my first words: "Jesus! Oh my God!" Now for the background story: .... (I give a lot of background so you can skip to the main section: EARTHQUAKE)

The previous night I was reflecting on some things... At the beginning of this year (Winter Quarter) I came back to SB because of what was on my heart ... God had revealed to me many things about the times we are living in which put an urgency on my heart to share the gospel and to love... it was so convicting and pressing that I would be pushed to tears many times when I was in a room with a group of people (BSU, gospel choir, Impact, with InterVarsity people, in my classes or just walking on campus) but I would leave to cry then go back when I had composed myself (though I couldn't hold back one time at gospel choir but I guess no one noticed). I was crying because I was a broken mess for a long time which kept me from being a part of those communities, sharing my life, sharing love and truth. I was crying because of the division I saw among people who didn't even see it as a problem. I was crying because of the shallow relationships I had with people and that people were satisfied with that. So yeah, God gave me another chance that quarter to give my all (post: What's your name?) but I held back once again since I did not want to inconvenience people's lives - by sharing my burdens and my emotions - so I failed :/

I thought I was done that quarter yet I didn't feel like I was done. So I moved out of SB and went home but the whole time I was there God kept telling me in different ways (mostly through music) to "Not forsake the call. And to risk all for the sake of the call" but then I was like "I'm not in SB anymore"... how am I meant to do that? I made some videos and I had started to blog but I didn't finish and publish them because I was just tired and it was too much for me emotionally... So yeah, when I saw the letter that I wasn't done with one class everything made sense. God hadn't told me to leave SB just yet so I went back but then I went right back into the swing of things. The only difference was that God directed me to check out different Christian groups- I hadn't done that before. He showed me that He's bringing unity in His whole body at SB and I later found out about the "With One Voice event"- when I read the description I was dumb-founded coz it's the vision I had on my heart. But I thought that God wanted other people to bring it forth instead of me so I didn't really do anything about it except tell people that I ran into. But then later on I saw how dumb that reasoning was... we all needed to work as a body to bring forth that vision... and it's the same vision that Judith and Alex saw (unity in the body -across fellowships) then revival happening. So I tried my best to do my part though it was last minute...

EARTHQUAKE

Anyway, back to the night before the earthquake... I was reflecting on the With One Voice worship night... and I remember saying that the only visions that haven't happened yet from Pre-Fall Leaders Retreat is Unity in the body and Paul's vision of an earthquake in IV then revival... I also saw this post on Kevin Mirasi's blog - a post about a 5.7 earthquake that God told would come to California... So I went to bed thinking about that... and I was still positive that revival would happen by the end of this school year... at least the start of it... So I went to sleep and woke up at 7 then went back to sleep and then BAM! the earthquake that Paul prophesied hit Santa Barbara... for me that really woke me up and I felt God reinforcing that it is time.

IT IS TIME! TIME FOR WHAT???

IT'S TIME FOR SLEEPING BEAUTY TO ARISE! TIME TO WATCH AND PRAY! FOR THE BRIDE GROOM IS COMING FOR HIS BRIDE! A NEW SEASON IS ABOUT TO BREAK THROUGH ! LET'S ARISE! THE HARVEST IS PLENTIFUL! BRIDE OF CHRIST ARISE AND SHINE! LET US PREPARE THE WAY FOR THE KING OF GLORY! CHANGES ARE COMING TO THE EARTH! ARISE!  (posts: SOON! Here Comes the Bride Groom The HARVEST)

So yeah, Jesus is coming (1.5 coming -the rapture) and before that a larger earthquake is coming to California and the West Coast as a sign of the times. At first I thought that it would take an earthquake to awaken the church but God showed me through the scripture at the top of the post the order of events: Unity in prayer n worship in the body of Christ then earthquake -> With One Voice unity worship night  then earthquake in IV. So yeah a larger earthquake has been prophesied so it's time for the body of Christ to arise in PRAYER and WORSHIP - for chains to be broken and eyes to be opened and Christ to be revealed. We need to come together and wait on God to give us His heart and to clothe us with power. That's how revival will break forth (Read Acts 1-2). It starts with His Church. So let's WAKE UP CHURCH! (post: Time to SEEK!)

Yeah I know finals are coming up... do you know what else is coming up? THE END OF THE AGE. So I think we need to do a priority check if that's our excuse not to pray. Take study breaks and PRAY. Wake up earlier and PRAY. Prefarably with others. LET'S PRAY TOGETHER! That's how the disciples applied the command Jesus gave them to wait on His Spirit in Acts 1 and even The Lord's Prayer was a communal prayer.  So yeah hit me up whenever if you want to pray with me. Also there's a prayer meeting tonight (Tuesday) at 10pm at 6517 Madrid Road. (post: A Call to Prayer)

Church, it's time to love. We need His power to love. Let's PRAY. TOGETHER. PLEASE.

Sorry this is super late. But God is gracious. Let's apply it still. It's not too late. It's ♫ just in Time. ♫ So yeah, there's no time to wallow in the past. Let's move forward together and partner with God in building His Kingdom here! Oh yeah, this update is mostly for a Christian audience if you have no clue what I'm talking about you can start here:  Behold!, The Kingdoms, My G.P.S, Pimp My Ride, Quick Testimony: FREEDOM! 

K feel free to ask questions. And hit me up for prayer and friendship. Blessings! :-) 

The Bubble

"Then the LORD will create over all of Mount Zion and over those who assemble there a cloud of smoke by day and a glow of flaming fire by night; over all the glory will be a canopy. It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain." (Isaiah 4:5-6)

Story of My Life Part 1: The Bubble :-)

Introduction

So I'm finally doing the story of my life posts. I've been meaning to start since forever ago but I never got to it. ♫ Oh how the world can seem so vast on this journey to my past. ♫ #Anastasia. So in the Journey post, God assured me that I was on my way home and that I will regain glory. (So in this post I wanna explain what I meant by that) ♫ Back to who I was, on to find my future. ♫ I'm headed there but how I travel is up to me. I can walk or fly. I fly when I look to Him and find rest in Him because it is in Him that I find my identity and purpose. But when I fly, looking at things from above and expressing myself, people are like "??? Who are you?!"... So being a messenger is part of my identity. I like to share what God gives me with my family and friends. So I'll keep doing that since God told me to. He keeps telling me: "Remember who you are" and "Be yourself and share your life with people." So this journey to my past series will be my "walking" posts. It's mostly for me to help me remember who I am through recalling my past experiences but I think people will also get me better when I'm walking; they'll see where I'm coming from. Cool. Let's begin...

Oh before we begin (lol) I logged into my hi5 account the other day for the first time in a long time (it's like myspace) and this was my "one sentence" description of myself back in 2005: Hey! I'm Charlene. Welcome to my site!!~~ Ok, I found it quite a difficult task to accurately describe myself in just one sentence coz like a diamond I have many different faces that make me ME! so here goes nothing... I have a quiet & reserved front but there's more to me than u think. I'm self-confident, very optimistic, usually happy, crazily creative in thoughts and deeds. I'm interested in very many things. I like doing stuff to the best of my ability and try my best to make an impact on the lives of anyone who crosses my path(not literally).....wait a minute this is just too much info.......the rest is for u to find out ;) But lastly and most importantly I'm madly in love with Jesus Christ, He's my savior, friend and guide.

In the Quick Testimony post I mentioned feeling like I was "wrapped up in some kind of bubble wrap" when I was younger so this post will address that as well as the other metaphors I used. It will also expose some of the different faces of Charlene. K sorry I always overdo my introductions lol.
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The Bubble - "The Glory Days"

"He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

You've heard of "quiet time" how about a quiet inner life? Give me that!

Main section: * c)"Finding God" in the bubble

a) Charlene the baby - I was a quiet baby (and a chubby one lol). In our family videos I was usually just sitting there, biting my lip like in this picture or with my tongue out, just looking around haha. Ok that's it for baby Charlene. Let's move on to the toddler. My family and I lived in Nakuru in my toddler years (a town ~2 hours away from Nairobi). I'm the 5th child in a family of 7 kids. I joined Nursery school when I was 3 years old, Lions Primary School. I remember my first day of school. My mum dropped me off at the banda where all the new kids were. All the other kids were crying and I wondered why. "So weird!"I thought lol. Everything else I remember in that time period is the experiences I shared with my big sis Yvonne (she's 2 years older than me). Like I remember I hated plain milk and they would make us drink milk and biscuits during break time. So there's a day I "hid" my cup under the chair and accidentally kicked it hence spilling the milk on the floor. My sis was my hero those days she came and mopped it up for me :) My mum used to put a handkerchief in my pocket everyday and Yvonne was laughing at me the other day when she reminded me how I always put my hand in my pocket to make sure that it wouldn't fall down lol. I even ran with my hand in my pocket haha! (Just extra cautious I guess ;) I think I did only one year of Nursery in Nakuru then my family moved to Nairobi...

b) Charlene the child- Observant and talkative. Quiet and not afraid. Clumsy and forgetful. Creative and thoughtful. Happy. Dreamer. Giver. Care- free. Funny- Clown. Sheltered and secure. 

Me and Yvonne in Nursery lol :)

So we moved to South C in Nairobi and I went to NPC Valley Road Nursery school. I remember those days better. Yvonne and I were best friends and we were never bored when we were together. We'd invent games like "Mama Sarah & Mama Kibera"- we would impersonate my mum and her friends lol. We were also partners in crime lol like there's a time we were grounded but we sneaked out of the house to play at the neighbors house then on our way back home we saw my mum in the distance so we ran home but the gate was closed so we climbed the gate but my dress got stuck so my mum found me hanging there lol. In family videos Yvonne and I were always running around shouting, singing and dancing. Opps this is meant to be about me so I'll cut it short and zoom in on me... Observant- I remember I always used to watch my mum bake/cook so there was one time I was home alone (I got out of school earlier than everyone else but I didn't mind since I wasn't afraid of being alone) so I decided to bake a cake and surprise everyone and I did- I baked my first cake from scratch when I was 5. It was more on the flat side since I didn't put enough baking powder but it was edible lol and my family was surprised. I was also really clumsy- I always hit myself somewhere everyday haha. Clown - I liked to tell jokes and act silly lol. Giver/ Teacher- I remember whenever I would learn a new song at school I would come home and teach it to my mum until she got it lol. Not afraid- I wasn't afraid to talk in front of people - I remember acting in the school plays, I would participate in class and I would always speak my mind.

c) Finding God in the bubble

So that's the general background of little Charlene. I'll share more in other posts- my interactions with people- but now I wanna get to the main message of this post. So far, what I mean by "the bubble" is this place where I was me without being affected by what's going on around me. I was never bored when I was alone since I always entertained myself with my thoughts. And I was so pre-occupied with being me (being in my own little world) that I never really thought about what other people thought about me. So I felt sheltered from the world in that sense... I'll explain more later.

Me in 5th grade lol :-)

My mum brought us up Christian. We would go to church on Sundays and we went to a private Christian school (Nairobi Pentecostal Church Academy). We would always pray at home and my mum played for us christian music for kids. I remember that's how she used to wake us up in the morning, with sweet music in the background :) Yes I learnt about Jesus from my mum and Sunday school and I said the prayer to accept Him into my heart but later around 5th grade, I started to ask myself questions like, " What if I was born in a Hindu family? Would I be Hindu right now?...What if my parents were Muslims? Would I be a muslim?" "What if just by being born into a particular family, I got stuck in something that was not the truth?... Wait, what is the truth?"-> At that point, I wanted the truth and I wanted to decide for myself what I believed in and not just blindly believe everything that my parents or anyone else told me because "What if it wasn't true???"

1.-> So I started with the biggest question, "Does God even exist?"
I am one that likes to appreciate the beauty of nature: the beautiful sunsets, the cool arrangement of clouds in the sky, the twinkling stars and planets, the breathtaking landscapes from mountains to lakes and the ocean, pretty colored rocks and shells (I used to collect), different shades of colors of leaves on the trees,...etc. So when I answered that question I was like, "Yes. God, the Creator, definitely exists. Otherwise this whole earth and the entire universe would not make any sense at all without a Creator who designed it and set things into motion. There has to be a Source of life. A Source of all this beauty that captivates me. Turns out, nature's beauty is one of the designs God uses to point people to Him: "...what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." (Romans 1:19-20) {Tangent: One of God's qualities that nature reminds me of His omnipresence (He is ever-present. He is always there) and then "He has also set eternity in the hearts of men"(Eccl. 3:11) -> in this verse we find out that God has given us part of His nature, the gift of always (from the point of birth we will always exist). He gave us that gift so that we could share our lives with Him from now to eternity. But then there's a thief of always, the devil, who wants to distract us from the main purpose of our lives (relationship with God from now into eternity). Yes there's a time for everything under the sun but there's always time for always. Sorry if that's confusing, just forget the tangent and read on and you can listen to this song. }

2.-> So since God does exist then "Which God is the real deal?"

I knew that different religions had different things to say about God(s). I grew up around people with different religions (some of my friends) and we had a Christian Religious Education class which also compared and contrasted some religions. But at this point I wasn't interested in what other people had to say, I was searching for the truth and I wanted to make a decision for myself and be sure about it. So I decided to approach this question from what I already knew (what I had established for myself). I realized that the only way that I could be sure of the truth is to go to The Source. This was my reasoning:

God exists and since He is The Creator of everything He also created me. He fills the whole earth because He is bigger. He knows everything (duh! He created it all) so He even knows my thoughts and feelings and He sees everything I am doing. God is my Creator so it makes sense that He would want a relationship with me. And He is everywhere so He is always with me and knows my every thought so that means that I can actually talk to Him, through my thoughts, everywhere I go. So I started doing that. You know how you "think to yourself" in your head? Well I started "thinking to God"-I started to address my thoughts to God. Since I acknowledged that His presence is with me everywhere I go, I would also acknowledge His presence in my thoughts. -->If you are with your friend everywhere you go: to class, to your house, etc, it doesn't make sense to ignore them and not say a word to them and treat them like they don't exist even though they are right there with you. So I did the same thing with God; I would talk to Him through my thoughts about whatever: my day, something I was worried about, just whatever I was thinking about. And even though I couldn't see Him, I could sense that He was with me and that I wasn't talking to myself like a crazy person lol. The more I made myself aware of the presence of the Creator of the universe, my Creator, the more He made Himself known to me. (Just like it says in James 4:8, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.") I could sense His presence with me: His love, joy and peace around me. He would respond: Not in a loud voice from the heavenlies and bright light shining down on my face lol (as cool as that would be) but He would speak through whispers in my thoughts, His gentle guiding voice. Sometimes I would mistake His voice for my own thoughts and kinda brush it off, not paying attention to it, but when I did that I would later regret not following His voice because He was actually warning me/preparing me for something that I couldn't see coming (He knows and sees everything, we don't). So that's how I knew His voice- He would guide me and when I listened and followed His guidance good things would result :) -I'll give examples in the next section.

d) Fun in the Bubble: The Glory Days

Dad and me :-)

So as I developed a friendship with God I came to know Him as my loving and caring Heavenly Father  and I understood that Jesus lived inside me since I invited Him into my heart and He guides me with His Holy Spirit (♫ Jesus my best friend. My forever friend! ♫ :) In the 6th grade I started reading the Bible for myself (before I would only read it at Sunday school where I memorized bible verses for prizes and candy each week). As I read it I could hear God's voice (the same voice that spoke to me in my thoughts) speaking to me through the Bible. When I started reading the Bible for myself I was so excited and amazed at all the goodness it contained; it became my hobby. The Bible contains lots of promises from God so I used to read it and just believe it. And God's Word begun to rock my world.

1.) Supernatural Wisdom and Favor- Before studying I would read the Bible and believe the promises God gave me. For example I would read a verse like Deuteronomy 28:13 and believe that God would help me in my exams and He did! The beginning of that year (6th grade) I was usually in the bottom 10 in performance in a class of ~40 students (I remember since our class teacher Mr. Chege would make us line up by our grades) but by the end of the year I was in the top 7 of the class and in the next grade I was in the top 3! So did I just get really smart all of a sudden? Well I don't think there are smart people and dumb people (I don't like those labels); I think we just have different strengths and weaknesses. So in my case I knew my weaknesses but I trusted God's Word, "The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness." (Romans 8:26a) I knew that God was always with me so I trusted that He would guide me even as I was studying. I have many testimonies from my past when God helped me academically. He just made studying so much easier for me. I would look at my other classmates and they would be studying harder than me but I wouldn't study as much as they did yet I did better than them. I remember one time I was wondering about that and I questioned God about a particular girl who worked harder than me yet I didn't work as hard but performed better. And it's funny coz after I questioned Him about that she ended up doing better than me lol. What I got from that was that I trusted His Word and so He was showing me favor and for me not to compare myself with others. So there's this time in high school in Kenya I had 3 exams in one day but I had only studied for 2 and I had an hour break before my Computer Science exam (the one I hadn't studied for). My friends in the class pulled an all nighter studying for that class since the teacher told us that the material from the whole book was fair game for the test. But I just had one hour to study so I prayed to God to guide me and I ended up reading this one chapter only. And it turned out that 90% of the exam was from that chapter! And I got the highest grade in my class in that test! That was God! :) (That doesn't mean that I always aced every test I took, there are some that I failed but I didn't let the failure define me. I was always optimistic. I would set new goals and believe God to help me and He would come through )So yeah, God gave me Wisdom -not just guiding me in my academics but giving me the right perspective for this life: I am weak and needy and He is powerful and more than willing to help. Though life is hard He is able to provide what we need to go through it. So yeah, I just need to trust Him :) "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Jesus :) (Matthew 11:29-30)

6th grade hahaha :-)

2.) Joy, Peace and Rest in His presence. "You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11) Like I mentioned before, just knowing that God was always with me just filled me joy. So "the bubble" was a place where me and God would hang. Just me and Him. Even when things around me went wrong I still felt secure. Like I remember in primary school there were always rumors people would come up involving me and the teachers would be calling me up to question me about my involvement in the rumors and drama but it didn't phase me; I'd just say the truth and leave it at that. Most people would get worked up and all defensive but I reacted differently. I was at peace because I was secure; I knew that God was my defense and such situations (false accusations) even made me laugh. "Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91: 1-2) And I didn't realize this but people later on people told me that I always had a smile on my face and that I was sweet -> that's not a word I would use to describe myself but I guess what people could see was the result of my relationship with God (me welcoming His presence into my life; involving Him in my everyday life; friendship). "let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious." (1 Peter 3:4) "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23) Speaking about self-control, it's funny how we even need God's help to control ourselves (with positive results in the present and in the long-term). I experienced such freedom when I lay my burdens down at Jesus' feet, when I gave Him control over not just my heart and soul, but also different aspects of my daily life; even what may seem like small things. I became really self-disciplined in the 6th grade when I started developing a relationship with God, when I begun to believe and trust that He wanted to be more involved in my life. For example, we always had tons of homework in primary school but I had set a bedtime for myself and I always went to bed at that time whether or not I finished my homework. And if I had unfinished work or if I needed to study, before I slept I asked God to wake me up early in the morning and He would! Even later in boarding school in high school I didn't have an alarm clock so sometimes when I needed to study I asked God to wake me up at 5am. And right at 5am He would wake me up. He woke me up with His presence, so I would start my day with joy and peace in my heart. Refreshed and ready to tackle the day :)

3. Confidence and Boldness-  "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." (Psalm 32:8) Every morning I felt like I was embarking on a new adventure (me and God) and it was exciting to think about what lay ahead of me such as the people I'd interact with and the conversations we would have. I was confident even about something as uncertain as the future because I knew that God was with me so instead of being afraid of say the future, I was hopeful and excited since I saw it as an adventure with God as my father ( + provider), friend and guide. When I started reading the Bible for myself in the 6th grade and discovered how good it was I started sharing what I was learning with my friends and classmates. It was too good to keep to myself. So sometimes in between classes or when we had a free lesson I'd just stand up and go in front of the class and read a Bible verse that spoke to me. I wasn't afraid nor did I see any reason to be afraid, I was just sharing this treasure that I had found; it came naturally to me. I would look forward to conversations I'd have with people because I had ample opportunities to share this Love and Hope I had found. People would ask; they would bring it up and God was soo a part of my daily life that it would be dishonest for me not to include Him in my responses. When people looked at me they saw the fruit, they saw strength but I knew my weakness and my source of strength so I had to correct them; I had to tell them the Truth and give the glory where it was due.

4. Intimacy- This is the main point and it encompasses the rest. "Now this is eternal life: that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent. I have brought You glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began."- Jesus ( John 17: 3-5) "God is Love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."( 1 John 4: 8b-10) "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1a)" <Nothing> will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:39)

So what are those verses talking about? They are saying that God loves all of us sooo much. We were made for Love. God is Love. He created us for Himself, for His presence, His Love to dwell within us. We are incomplete without Him, without His Love. The very definition of life (life full of Life; eternal Life) is knowing God, having a relationship with Him; knowing Love, receiving His Love. But having free will we rejected God and decided to do things our own way which was actually choosing against love and life. But God still loved us and so He sent His Son Jesus to pay the price of our decision (death) so that we could live. That's why nothing can separate us from God's love for us, not even our sin because Jesus paid the price, so now all we have to do is receive His great Love for us :)

So yeah this whole life is about finding rest and security in God's great Love for us. Finding our identity as His beloved children. Like I've shared a million times before, God keeps telling me to remember who I am. I remember then I forget again because of all the things that pop up and distract me from seeing God's love for me so I keep bouncing in and out of rest. But He is all I want. His Love. His presence. His glory. So that's what I'm pursuing once more. Lord, help me rest in You. Please renew my mind with Your Truth. Open my eyes that I may behold Your great Love for me. Increase my faith in You that I may just believe You like I used to. To know You are always with me and are listening to me and are going to respond. ♫ Take me back to You. To the place I once knew as a little child resting in the bed of faith prepared for me. ♫ In Jesus' name, Amen :)

THE HARVEST

OMG! So the other day I re-read the Awakening post and I felt like re-posting the section below about the harvest but I didn't since I'm behind on blogging and "waiting for the right time" then today I went to IV Church and they had a team from YWAM speak. And they blasted us with hope and truth, prophetic words over this city and nation. Tons of confirmation for the stuff God's been giving me to share (some stuff is still in my drafts). Yeah it's been hard to keep up with sharing since I'm on a journey to the past but at the same time God keeps giving me stuff for the now and the future. So I've decided to just follow the Spirit and share things as He leads me instead of trying to fit my order. K, so why did I re-post this? Because the harvest is coming this year!!! Let's get ready!!! :D God gave me this song last fall,-> New thing <- "Behold I'm doing a New thing in the desert! Behold I'm doing a New thing! It's time to remember who you are." I felt like He was singing it over me as encouragement and also a wake up call for me and the rest of the church. I got into the desert when I was yearning for more. Pursing intimacy with God (first & foremost) and deeper relationships with those around me. Love-sickness brought me here so God told me all I need to do is remember how He loves me and that His Love is all I need then go share that love with those around me. That's the new thing He's doing, He is mobilizing His body. It's time we remember who we are coz the harvest is plentiful and we are the workers so let's Wake Up! :) (I have some exciting stuff to share to prepare us for this season of increase so stay tuned or talk to me. Church at SB it's time for unity in the desert :)

Updates (3/8/12): The Harvest & The Lost Sheep

THE HARVEST

So a couple of weeks ago I randomly decided to take a stroll around my apartment (Santa Ynez) with my camera. I walked around aimlessly and took pictures of any pretty thing that caught my eye. I then came to this spot and stopped. I was excited at what I saw and took many pictures (see below). I think that random walk was Spirit-led because when I stopped there this verse came into my head:

Matthew 9:37-38

"Then he (Jesus) said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

Then I kept walking towards FT while taking pictures.

Then on my walk back the pictures below reminded me of Paul's vision. He had a vision that one day he was walking on campus then he got to share the gospel with this one guy who then got saved on the spot. He was so excited and on fire that he went back to his dorm and told his friends what happened to him. Then people on his floor got saved and salvation spread like a wildfire in FT. Funny thing, this week is outreach week and Paul's going to be on campus talking to people every day for an hour. And I think his vision is going to unfold! I don't see why not! Well timing doesn't matter, it's gonna happen in God's time :) This vision goes with the song that I posted above ("The Great Awakening" by Leeland) and the pictures below.

So let's pray! Pray for FT for chains to be broken and eyes to be open. Pray for yourself and the rest of the workers who'll be sharing the gospel on campus and with their friends. Let's lift up our eyes to God for Him to prepare our hearts so that we may be intimate with Him and feel His heart beat for this city. That our hearts may break for what His breaks for and for us to be His hands and feet. Revival starts with us, His people ( *2 Chronicles 7:14). Great tips to keep in mind when sharing the gospel: 1 Peter 3:15-16.

~~~The Lost Sheep~~~

Matthew 9: 35- 36

"Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."

I learnt a lot from my time away from Common Ground this quarter. The first time that I just stayed at my apartment instead of going to Common Ground (you can read why in the "Remember" post) I noticed something. I noticed my roommate. I noticed how she was usually home by herself when the rest of the house went about InterVarsity events. Yes she knew where we were going and we would invite her sometimes and she would decline. Why? I now know why.

So after I didn't go to Common Ground the next few weeks (for different reasons) I got to experience what it feels to be a "lost sheep." I would get "I miss you!" or "I hope to see you soon" from a few people or "So you're doing you're own thing now" from others. Being the lost sheep and on the receiving end of these seemingly harmless comments, I received them differently. This is how the lost sheep receive our "thoughtful comments" :

Us: "I haven't seen you at Common Ground! I miss you! Hope to see you! "

Lost Sheep: Really? Then do something about it! I'm not quarantined in some island. You can actually come see me if you want to. There's nothing stopping you...oh wait... I guess there is.

Lesson: We usually tell the lost sheep stuff like "I miss you" and then the solution we have in mind is: "I miss you so come to Common ground so that I can stop missing you. Come to me." That's where our approach is messed up. We are confining our fellowship & outreach within a structure. I'm not against inviting people to come with us, to "come and see" but there's another aspect we may be neglecting when dealing with lost sheep which is displacing ourselves.

I learnt about that through my Underserved Medicine class this quarter.

Street Medicine 101: "You can force the patient to fit into a rigid model (patient has to go to hospital to receive care) or you can change the system to accommodate them (you go to them). Street Medicine acknowledges that there are many barriers to access healthcare ( such as poverty, war, geography and trust issues- some people don't trust government organizations). So Street Medicine acts as a bridge across these barriers in that the care-givers meet people in their own reality. They meet people where they are at.

-> When they said this in class I felt like raising my hand and asking "Uhm are you sure you're not a Christian org? And do you know Jesus? coz that's pretty much what He came to do on earth. That's the gospel right there." Lol.

So yeah my experience as a lost sheep really convicted me how many of us haven't been displacing ourselves much-from what I've heard. Well I can speak for myself. I've realized how I've lost contact with most of my non- Christian friends. Yeah I did a GIG with some and some of them checked out InterVarsity for a while then stopped coming and that was that. But being a lost sheep I realized how they must have felt. They felt like I didn't really care about them as people and was just treating them as a "Come to Common Ground" project but I won't come to you. This is easy to do when evangelizing but what we don't realize is that sharing the gospel is not just through speech, it is"in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity"(1 Timothy 4:12). Yes the Word of God is really powerful by itself but let us not limit our sharing of the gospel just to speech. In friendships this can be distrastrous in my point of view ( just trying to get them to come to us while not displacing ourselves to maintain the friendship) because I've seen that I've lost friends and therefore they have lost the chance to see the gospel shared through my life as well as my love. I was led to read Ezekiel 34, you should read it too. God's is pretty serious about His lost sheep. So let's take warning and heed his call to feed His sheep. "do you love me?...feed my sheep"- Jesus to Peter (John 21: 15). You may be like "Hey! I'm not a shepherd, that's not my spiritual gift (pastor) so those scripture don't apply to me." Well with the revival God is preparing all of us to lead people (be shepherds) so yeah it does apply to you. There are people in your life that look at you and see that you have something they are missing and God is going to use you to reach out to them :)

This is a call to open your eyes. The structure we have may be good but let's not be confined by it. Yes let's have community but let us also displace ourselves to reach out to the lost sheep.This is a call to walk by the Spirit not to strive to do anything out of our own strength. As Christians we tend to complicate things when all God wants us to do is "Just Be"-> read more about that in my post. K, blessings and my love :) Let's pray and walk by the Spirit :)

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So yeah, church, God is just bringing us back to the first commandment: To Love Him with our all and to Love our neighbors as ourselves. That's what this whole desert season is about, getting things straight. Remembering it's all about LOVE. He has really convicted me in the past and coming into this quarter how I haven't been sharing His love with those around me due to my fears and insecurities and how selfish that is. He is calling us to Rise Up and Love!  He wants to bring us freedom so that we can freely give what we have freely received. So let's do this! Let's LOVE =)