Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly —mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings? What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.
By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care.For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, becausethe Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.
Don’t you know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.
Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”; and again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.” So then, no more boasting about human leaders! All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future —all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God. (1 Corinthians 3) =)
Dear InterVarsity, it's all about Jesus and His Kingdom (He has His own perfect culture which we all need to surrender to). Let's fix our eyes on Him, stay in His Word and follow Him wherever He goes :-) And we are one in Christ so let's be one. God bless! :)
InterVarsity, we really need to pray for Staff. Whether or not you get what I'm saying (it will make more sense later) just pray. This message came up thrice today in different ways: Ezekiel 13: 10-16. I exposed some of the devil's strongholds that are blinding them and are leading to various forms of oppression (in the "Let My people Go"post) and God being a God of Love and Justice and The Perfect Father, He will do whatever it takes to to set them straight (refer to the verses at the beginning of the the 'False Teachers' section of that post). This is spiritual warfare which a lot of you don't understand coz of your background or this touchy context but I'll explain further in upcoming posts (please be patient! I really want you to understand but yeah, you'll have to wait for it! Don't fight me right now coz you really don't know what you're doing or what I'm doing so wait and I'll let you know. Good things come to those who wait :) So yeah, just pray, if you don't know how to pray about this stuff then you can just pray the Lord's prayer (Matthew 6: 9-13). For those who know how to pray with their spirit (praying in tongues) please do, it's much needed during this time of intense warfare coz the devil likes to attack the mind (1 Corinthians 14:14-15). We all need to pray in The Holy Spirit (Romans 8:26, Ephesians 6:18) coz when there is ignorance hence uncertainty the devil likes to bring in confusion to keep us from praying or so that we can pray ineffective prayers- prayers for our will done (what we think is right) instead of God's perfect will (James 4:3, Romans 12:1-2). So yeah if you are confused, worship before you pray (that will fix your eyes on Jesusand not on the devil's distractions) and also do listening prayer. Ttyl! Peace! ♥ :)
"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. (Jude 1: 24-25) =)
Psalm 63- A Psalm of David, when he was in the desert of Judah.
1 You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and
your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
After our faith is tested and our idols are exposed (what we place our trust/hope in that is not God) we can lay them at His feet (get pruned) then remain empty and thirsty for His Presence (His Love, His Power, His Glory). As we thirst for Him we praise Him as we wait for Him because He is more than willing to fill us up and He surely will satisfy our thirst =)
"Then Moses said to Him, "If Your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here."(Exodus 33:15)
_________________________________________________________________________ 3. To SING and to CLING
He also reveals our brokenness because He wants to reveal Himself to us as The Healer and the solution for everything we lack (Our All in all). And He is still worthy of all our praise no matter how we feel (Praising Him changes our feelings. That's how we can be joyful always like the Word tells us to. When we set our minds on Him -through praising God for who He is and giving thanks for what He's done for us- our hearts follow and respond in joy! :)
The day God visits you has come,
the day your watchmen sound the alarm. Now is the time of your confusion.
Do not trust a neighbor;
put no confidence in a friend.
Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips.
For a son dishonors his father, a daughter rises up against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—a man’s enemies are the members of his own household.
But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. (Micah 7: 4-7)
Hello sojourners! :) So we reached a point in the journey where DRAMA! rises up or rather heightens within the family/fellowship. This is part of the Desert series. "The Desert"is that season in between the past dissatisfying yet comfortable life and the future filled the hope of greater things as well as the feeling of uncertainty of newness. "The day God visits you has come, the day your watchmen sound the alarm"
As you know by now, I'm behind on sharing stuff that God's been teaching me (mostly coz I've been caught up/ distracted/discouraged by the drama I'm yet to talk about). Anyway, if you read my "Hello Africans post" God gave us lots of visions about stuff that's going to happen this year. In the Fall, He also gave us Isaiah 61 and He emphasized to me Isaiah 61:1-3. So yeah I really believe that God is going to visit us this year! :) But that's not a good thing for everyone :'( ("To proclaim the year of Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God") In the post "Spring rains" He told me that we are in a bipolar season ("a time to mourn and a time to dance"). He is a God of Love and Justice. Anyway, this is not the main topic of this post. I'll have more details in an upcoming post "Sound the alarm" and don't freak out! God will protect us we just need to seek Him (stop your routine and wait for Him!) and make Him our refuge (Psalm 91) :)
"Now is the time of your confusion. Don't trust a neighbor..."
So there's lot's of stuff going on in this Desert season. God is leading us forward to a new place, a better place but the enemy, the devil, is anti-God so his plan is to confuse people to get them not to move forward into the promised land (so he wants to get us to either go back to Egypt (our past) or wander around the desert till we wear out and die there. Yeah he's really mean :( So we have the choice to either trust God's leadership into the promised land (which is unknown and new to us hence scary though biblical) or trust ourselves and what we know from our past experiences (our ideas about God and how we've related to Him in the past). In other words, we can either walk by faith (trust God's Spirit and His Word) or walk by sight (what seems logical to us based on past experiences or what other people taught us). It all boils down to trusting God's word. That's why we can't trust anyone because if we follow those who are following the past then we are being misled (not following Jesus since He is leading us forward). We have to let The Lord be our shepherd and follow Him even when others around us even our leaders are not following, they'll understand what's going on later and join in. God is gracious :)
" A man’s enemies are the members of his own household"
One reason for this is due to the tension created between those walking by faith and those walking by sight. Another is because everything is falling apart since people are getting fed up of the kind of life they've been living which is actually a good place to be at ("a time to breakdown and a time to build up"). God is also doing a new thing in the desert which throws people off. He is reminding us our identity as leaders. He is rearranging things in the church to how they should be. During Winter break He told me that leadership (in His body) is not a job, it's not even a prescription but it's an identity for everyone in the body. This awakening brought a lot of conflict between those who already knew that they were leaders and those who were waking up to that fact. This is similar to the conflict that Miriam, Moses and Aaron had in the desert ( Numbers 12:2 when Miriam challenged Moses' leadership).
"I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me"
So the practical for all of us is to surrender our alland follow Jesus knowing that God has only good plans for our life :) Let's stop trying to fix our problems on our own since we are in over our heads and the drama is too complicated when dealing with family/fellowship. But God exists and He cares for us! :D He specializes in the "impossible"and He is more than willing to step in and set things straight. He's just waiting for us to do our part which is to stop (give up on our futile efforts. We are only human!) and wait for Him (seek Him in prayer and in His Word, in fasting and in praising Him). We need to do this individually as well as cooperately (1 Samuel 7).
K, let's stay in God's Word and put our trust in Him alone (not on our reasoning based on our past. All that will prove to be sinking sand if it doesn't line up with God's Word). Peace! :)
Thanks Lord for being our shepherd! Help us to trust You with our all and follow You wherever You go. Help us surrender to Your power. Yeah help us to let go and just rest in Your arms of love and victory. Fill us up with more of You as we lay our burdens and crowns at Your feet. In Jesus Name, Amen! :D
(I'll share more about this since I learnt about some cultural strongholds involved and I'll get more personal too. This was like an overview and general message lol.)
P.S: There's no condemnation to anyone involved in the drama. God is for us (all of us)! Things are changing and it's hard to adjust to change. It's hard to loose control and trust God and follow Him "blindly" (using the eyes of our heart = faith). But God remains faithful even when we are faithless. His grace is enough for all of us and His love is unending. So let's pray for each other and love each other even when we don't see eye to eye concerning this desert drama. God's light is shinning and will shine even brighter until we all see the Truth which will bring us unity. So let's fix our eyes on Jesus, He is the only constant when things are changing. He has exciting stuff in store for all of us! Yay Jesus! :) Watch the videos I posted in "The Desert" post if you haven't already. Love, Charlene :)
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." (Hebrews 10:23) :-)
"Say to those who have an anxious heart, “Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you.” (Isaiah 35:4) :-)
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." =)
(James 1:2-4)
The test: When everything goes wrong who will you ran to? What will you cling to? Where will you go for comfort? Who/what will you turn to for relief? When everyone you put your trust in rejects you and gives up on you what will you do? Who you gonna call? The answer we give to all those questions will reveal where our faith/trust truly lies.
The goal: "To be mature and complete, not lacking anything." The goal is for us to say "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." (Psalm 23:1) and "...I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.” (Psalm 16:2) That's the truth right there. EVERYONE can and will disappoint you. But there is one who will NEVER give up on you. One who will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. One who will NEVER stop loving you no matter what you do. And He is The LORD =)The realization of that Truth (God is all we need) is what will change our breakdown into a breakthrough. It's time to know this God. This Jesus. Who He really is. It's time to know Him as our refuge, shield and defense. The one who protects and fights for His people. "Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle." (Psalm 24:8)
Also there's an urgency to the kind of testing we are now facing. I was led to sing this song in the Fall. It's in Swahili but I've translated it. "These are the last days and those who have faith have been set apart for the testing of their faith." God wants to refine us because Jesus is coming back soon! And He is coming for a pure bride so don't try to avoid the refiner's fire. It's for our own good. Let everything that is not of Him burn away. Anything we put our trust in, anything that we go to find refuge that is not Jesus is an idol and the fire shall reveal it. Let's cast all our idols into the fire and cling to Him alone.
HOLD ON! Don't give up. Let perseverance finish it's work. Breakthrough is coming so let's wait upon the Lord. Let'sstand on His Word and all His promises. So let's be in His Word and let's seek Him with all our hearts. He is with us :-)
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.You need to persevereso that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, “In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.” And, “But my righteous one willlive by faith.And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.”But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved." (Hebrews 10: 35-39)
Related Post: Pruning.
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HOLD ON! STAND STRONG! THIS BATTLE WILL BE WON! =)
I'M FEELING LIKE A BREAKTHROUGH!!! I'M LONG OVERDUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Be careful," Jesus said to them. "Be on your guard against
the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees." (Matthew 16:6)
I hope you will put up with me in a little foolishness. Yes, please put up with me! I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the Spirit you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough.
I do not think I am in the least inferior to those “super-apostles.” I may indeed be untrained as a speaker, but I do have knowledge. We have made this perfectly clear to you in every way. Was it a sin for me to lower myself in order to elevate you by preaching the gospel of God to you free of charge? I robbed other churches by receiving support from them so as to serve you. And when I was with you and needed something, I was not a burden to anyone, for the brothers who came from Macedonia supplied what I needed. I have kept myself from being a burden to you in any way, and will continue to do so. As surely as the truth of Christ is in me, nobody in the regions of Achaia will stop this boasting of mine. Why? Because I do not love you? God knows I do!
And I will keep on doing what I am doing in order to cut the ground from under those who want an opportunity to be considered equal with us in the things they boast about. For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve. (2 Corinthians 11: 1-15)
Dear InterVarsity Friends, Please beware of the yeast of the pharisees!- I'm talking about our Staff! :o yeah I know... it was a shocking discovery for me too...
“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in." (Matthew 23:13)
The Real Jesus didn't come to burden people with rules but to give people life full of life through His Spirit of power, love and self-control."For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (Romans 14:17) "He has made us competent as ministers of a newcovenant--not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." (2 Corinthians 3:6)
So please be on your guard against these "false apostles" who may not even know that they are misleading people by following a bunch of rules and traditions- while disregarding the Holy Spirit because it's 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. (Zechariah 4:6)
"The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men." (Isaiah 29:13)
Part of an email I sent to Staff on 4/21/12: "The thing is, it's not me that you don't trust. I have been taking this rejection personally but God told me you don't trust the Holy Spirit. You guys are "control freaks" like Sarah said to me last quarter and like Melissa admitted in her talk, and that's not a good thing at all because you can't rest if you want to be in control, you have to lose control to follow Jesus. Jesus wants to give us rest so bad , we just have to lose control first. I know due to your cultural experiences you haven't had much experience with the Holy Spirit being poured out (like at Prefall) and that's okay don't feel pressured to know everything, we all don't, but we are a body and we all have a piece to the puzzle so as we share our pieces it all comes together and we all benefit since we get a fuller picture of God. This is all about God and Him getting His glory.
Please. This year God has really broken my heart for the fellowship ("break my heart for what breaks yours") and He opened up my eyes to see what He sees, I see everyone (including you guys) suffering in different ways and we have grown weary and even complacent with this suffering but He is not okay with it and He wants to change this. The King of Glory wants to change this, we just have to lift up our heads and let Him in. He promised us revival. When you hear revival the first thing that should come to mind is Holy Spirit. Revival starts with His people first. So let's stop avoiding the Holy Spirit because that means we are avoiding revival."
"Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil."(1 Thessalonians 5: 19-22)
These people may be people we love and respect but we have to avoid them because it's hypocritical if we call ourselves followers of Jesus yet we follow people who are not heeding to Jesus' ministry (the new covenant which is all about the Holy Spirit).
"Watch out that you do not lose what we have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take them into your house or welcome them. Anyone who welcomes them shares in their wicked work." (2 John 1: 8-11)
"No compromise with slavery! No union with slave-holders!" -William L. Garisson.
Yeah I know from personal experience that that is hard to do but it's tough love. All you can do is follow Jesus (avoid such people like the Word says. No compromise.) and pray for them that they may see the Truth so that they can stop enslaving people, that is, keeping them from the whole Truth. (A lot of cultural strongholds may be preventing them from seeing the Truth so we need to pray for their deliverance and revival). Still don't get what the fuss is all about? I'll explain further later.
"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." (1 Thessalonians 5: 23-24) =)
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." (Proverbs 27: 5-6)
It's time for me to stop holding back my love. It's time for me to be a true friend. It's time to freely give what I have freely received. For this to happen I have choose love over fear (fear of rejection/ fear of being misunderstood/fear of standing out). And it's time for us to stop judging each other (Romans 15:7) in order to receive love in it's different administration (loving is not just giving a pat on the back, it's also correcting, rebuking, teaching, when the occasion comes (2 Timothy 3:16).... Jesus is the perfect example :)
Let's stop running from Truth. It is the Truth that sets us free. Free to be ourselves. Free to love God and to love each other. Especially for us Christians we have to realize that the Truth keeps on transforming us it's not just a one-time encounter, it's a relationship! :)
I can't call myself "a true friend" if I can't tell you the truth and please don't call yourself my friend if you can't do the same for me. A true friend is not one who watches his/her friend falling for lies and says nothing. A true friend is one who actually cares. One that loves not just with words but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:18). Let's be real friends. Tell me the truth even if you are afraid it will hurt me because I love the Truth, Jesus is the Truth, so why should you hide Him from me? Why should we hide the Truth from each other because of fear? Fear is selfish. Love is not selfish. Let's be moved by love and not fear. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." (1 John 4:18a):-) P.S: You may not want to be a real friend to me and that sucks for me but I won't let it affect my response to this message. I'm not holding back my love anymore. And you can be my enemy but even then we're still family haha and I'll still give my love.
Related Post: Family Matters.
Ah! You're such a light!!! God bless you Jessica!!! :-) <3
Thanks Jessica Wu for being a good friend! :) Thanks for telling me the truth even though it made me uncomfortable. Jessica and I were housemates my Junior year. During that year she was torn about going to study abroad and she was also torn about what fellowship God wanted her to be part of since she was involved in a lot of them. So one day she went to Paul to get prayer. She really wanted to go study abroad that year but when Paul prayed for her he felt like she should stay and he kept getting "your roommates, your roommates." So for somereason, God wanted her not to study abroad that year as she had originally planned but to stay in SB for the sake of her roommates.
So I later figured out what that reason was. God really used Jessica to wake me up from my sleep. As you know by now, since I keep repeating it in my posts, I haven't been myself for a long time and there's a quote: "if you don't define yourself for yourself you'll be crunched into other people's fantasies for you and eaten alive." (Audre Lord) And that's pretty much what happened to me. I let the world define me, I conformed. When I stopped using my voice, I accepted everything that I was being told and taught even though it went against what I believed. I became like a robot and I wondered why my life sucked. So God really used Jessica to help me remember who I am and what I believed in which made me realize what made me turn into robot, hypocrisy-> my actions didn't line up with what I believed in. That realization was harsh but it was liberating because I knew the solution and it was simple: stop it and change.
But all that didn't happen over one conversation. We talked a lot and InterVarsity would come up and she would challenge me about some stuff in structure/tradition and I would defend it with my life using words that were not my own but what I had been told and had come to accept. And this kept happening whenever we talked (you see being friends doesn't mean you have to agree all the time about everything). The day that made me break and fall from the standpoint I held onto oh so fervently, is the day she got personal. It was easy to argue about things such as structure and tradition. That's what we had been doing and I always got defensive. But that day we talked about people and that made all the difference. She shared her story which reminded me of my own. You see if I'm the only one suffering I can just persevere through it so as to not inconvenience everyone else, I'm used to that. But if someone else is suffering I just cannot stay silent and not do anything about it. It would totally eat me up if I did nothing. So that's what woke me from my sleep. Now I'm longer a robot but a free bird :) (well I'm still working on my flight lol). Related posts: My Voice, Advocacy and Just Be.
Thanks so much Jessica for your bluntness, honesty, persistence and vulnerability! I really thank God for you coz I needed all that. You don't know how much it means to me... you helped lift up a huge load that had been weighing me down for a long time. You played a big role in my journey to freedom. Thanks :')
So yeah, friends all I want to do is be a good friend. I don't want to meet up to argue about things. Things don't matter but people do. I wanna share my story. I want us to get personal. So please don't judge me (by settling for your assumptions and misconceptions) until this happens. I just want us to care for each other for real.That's all. To be: Rooted in Love.
Introduction
Hey family and friends :) This is a continuation of The Present so you can read that post if you want background info. After my experience "rediscovering the present" my eyes were opened to the bigger picture and everything started making sense. (If you have no time for stories go ahead and jump to the main part: AERIAL VIEW!)
It's about time for aerial view! Join me as I put the pieces together... I had a flashback to my past few years at college. I was doing what became my life routine: school and leadership with InterVarsity (leading Bible study,the African diaspora group and family prayer meeting) but something was way off. Sophomore year I started doing terrible in school, failing classes all over the place which was unlike me. I was a bio major and I kept re-taking classes as I strived to stay in the major. Many times I would ask Paul (one of the InterVarsity staff. He had discipled me my freshman year) to pray for me and he would always support me through prayer and encouragement (thanks!). This one time I had shared with him how it seemed like I was failing at everything and something was definitely wrong with me but after he prayed for me he told me he kept hearing God saying "It's not your fault. It's not your fault."When he told me that I was like "What do you mean it's not my fault? It's obviously my fault if I'm not studying hard enough or not trusting in God enough with school." But he kept hearing God say the same thing, "It's not your fault." I didn't understand what that meant until I started to put the pieces together (stuff that I'm highlighting).
So by some miracle I made it through sophomore year and when junior year came by I was determined to turn over a new leaf and do better at school. I thought, if I just put my mind to it things will be different. Half-way through the quarter right before my midterms this strange dread came upon me. I feared that I would fail my classes and that I should withdraw from them while I had the chance. I didn't know whether that was just me wanting to give up (the devil wanting me to give up) or God trying to tell me something. So I asked Casey to pray for me and she encouraged me to keep going. So I did. I kept moving forward with my routine through Fall and Winter. Unfortunately my good intentions and strife took me nowhere and I fell flat on my face at the end of Winter quarter. I had performed the worst ever.
By Spring quarter I had had it. Something was definitely wrong. Something needed to change. Something had to change because I couldn't go on like that anymore. I felt like a failure - I was failing in my major classes and messing up my dream of being a doctor in the future. I was letting down my family and they views of me as "the good student with a bright future". Yeah I was just feeling lost and disoriented and change needed to happen. So instead of moving forward with my life routine which wasn't working anymore, I decided to start being open to change. First thing I did was change my major. I found out from my roommate Jessica about the academic counseling services that EOP offered. I checked it out and it was a huge blessing to me. They were more helpful than the other academic advisors that I had been seeing. They filled me with lots of hope by showing me other avenues to get to my dream of being a doctor.
I did well in my Spring classes and I was able to retroactively withdraw from the three classes I had failed in Fall and Winter (Thank God! That was a miracle!). Towards the end of the quarter, I felt like more change was coming my way. I felt like God wanted to me to change other things that were in my routine. I turned down a job that I got as a tutor because it didn't feel right even thought it was perfect for me (I had Lissah and Lupita pray for me and they also felt like I shouldn't do it) and shortly after that I got the internship I'm now doing at St. John's hospital. Also, I decided not to do leadership with InterVarsity my senior year. This was a sad decision to make because I wanted to be a leader but I decided just to trust God and accept change. Well that was my decision until one of the staff met with me and offered me the position of being an area leader (leader of bible study leaders). I had declined the first few times she asked me because I told her that I wasn't yet sure what God wanted me to do. But I changed my mind after I met with her and she explained the position to me. What appealed to me was that it would put me in position to influence other leaders and would give me flexibility to lead how I wanted to lead. So I said yes and did that in Fall quarter. But all the way through Fall quarter, as much as I loved my area, I didn't feel at peace with that position and I didn't know why because it seemed like the perfect position for me.
I found out why over the break... I was chatting with Thaddeus one time and he told me that he was going off leadership. When he told me the reasons why it dawned on me why I was not at peace with being an area leader... because God had told me that more change was coming and I had decided to accept that but later on I had compromised my decision. But then I was like, "Well, I've already made the commitment and I just can't leave my co-leader and my area leaders hanging just like that." Halfway through the break I got my grades back and an email that I was on academic probation. I had done so terrible that they should have kicked me out but they said they decided to let me stay for some reason (Jesus!). So after I read that email, I was like "Ok God! You got my attention. I'm out of leadership."
When Winter quarter came about, I began to see similar trends of strife, failure, discontent, and disorientation among a lot of the leaders in the fellowship even with the staff. I noticed a lot of weariness and uncertainty about the future. That's when all the pieces started falling together and I got aerial view!
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AERIAL VIEW!!! :-)
My InterVarsity family, and family and friends around the world, the body of Christ, we have been and still are in a Desert season. A season of transition. 1.The Promised Land
If you read about what happened at pre-fall in my Hello Africans post. Many people got visions that a great revival is going to happen at UCSB. People got visions that there will be unity in the body of Christ at UCSB and that lots of people in the school will turn to Jesus :) These are promises He gave us to hold onto but like the children of Israel, we also have to go through the desert before we get to the promised land. 2. The Desert: The only way out is through.
I remembered that in the Fall God had given me this verse and I had shared it at Common ground when I was on the worship team:
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." (Isaiah 43:2)
*It says "when" not "if" so this season is inevitable. And it says "pass through" this is only going to be temporary.
3. Shifting. No looking back. Moving forward. Walk by faith not by sight.
"The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want" (Psalm 23:1)
*Jesus is our shepherd and He is leading us to the land He promised. He is doing a new thing and He is preparing us so we have to trust Him and follow Him. If you read my story it seemed like what God was telling me to do was going against what seemed logical to me (the routine I had followed in the past). But when I walked by sight I was not at peace and kept reaping failure but when I walked by faith, I found peace with God and the joy, love and intimacy I was seeking.
4. Re-arranging. Renewal. Wait for the Lord!!!
*It's all about priorities. First things first. So I kept moving forward with the routine I had yet, as I shared in my Remember post, my relationship with God and people was suffering. I was lacking intimacy but I kept on moving with the routine. So God allowed me to experience failure in something that was important to me so that I could stop, re-evaluate things and seek first things first.
*It's all about LOVE (that's the greatest commandment) but we have complicated things by messing with the order. God is love so if we miss that we miss everything."Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."-Francis Chan. So God wants us to seek Him first and with all our hearts because everything else flows after we put Him first.
God is asking, "What will it take for you to stop and wait for me? What will it take for you to give up and seek me?" Whatever it will take He is willing to do because He is our shepherd and "He guides us along the right paths for His name’s sake." (Psalm 23:3)
*He kept giving me this verse in the Winter and the thumbelina song: Let me be your wings . (And He later led me to the videos below for confirmation.)
"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but they who wait for the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40: 30-31)
InterVarsity family, God has brought us this far and He has given us promises of what is to come in the future (unity, racial reconciliation and revival in our school) but He wants us to know that it's "Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts." (Zechariah 4:6)
Notice in the Isaiah verse above there is a divide.
There are those who grow tired and weary stumble and fall.
Those who wait for the Lord = Those who renew their strength. Soar on wings like eagles.
"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain." (Psalm 127:1)
Let's Be Prepared. Let's Wait :)
We are in the desert and the only way out is through and the only way through is not by might nor by power, it's only by trusting the Holy Spirit (the spirit of Jesus, the spirit of power, love and self-control. The Spirit of Wisdom that helps us know God better). To be followers of Jesus we have to actually keep following Jesus so let's just follow Him forward and not hold onto the past because God is doing a new thing and He leading us to a better place :) He is leading us to a place of deeper trust in Him, a place of rest in His love and His power. We don't have to understand it all before we follow, we just have to trust Him and obey His Word.
At the beginning of this quarter God gave me this verse for us, InterVarsity: "On one occasion, while he (Jesus) was eating with them, he gave them this command: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 1:4-5)
We can't get to be the Acts 2 church (a racially reconciled growing community) before going through Acts 1 (waiting on God for the baptism of the Holy Spirit). Let's trust Jesus. God doesn't give us bad gifts. He wants to give us more of Himself so that we can be more like Jesus and live the life that Jesus lived (power, love and self-control) and usher in His Kingdom of love and freedom :-) How thirsty are we? How much do we want more of Him? Because He is more than willing to fill us up. Let's humble ourselves before Him, pray, surrender our all and ask Him to fill us with more of Himself because the more we seek Him, the more we find Him. And let's love each other.
"And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed."(Romans 13:11) :) (In the Bible, numbers are significant. 11 signifies transition and 12 signifies perfection of government. Things are shifting and finalizations are in order. More details to come! :)
"Leave behind the world you know for another world of wondrous things. Stay with me and I will be your wings." - Jesus (Let me be your wings ) There's lots to share about this desert season so stay tuned! Questions and comments are always welcome :) Love, Charlene.
(This is part of Boot camp essential # 3. Know where you are, why you are there and how to advance- Times & seasons & GPS.) ___________________________________________________________________ Update: So God told me that "2012" refers to the Hebrew year that started in September so it overlaps into 2013.
"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
-The LORD. (Jeremiah 31:3)
BEHOLD LOVE!
In my "Remember" post I rant about all my dissatisfactions with my life then how God told me that all I need to do is to remember His love, His rich, rich Love because it His love that transforms me and brings restoration to my life.
"BEHOLD! what kind of love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1a)
This is funny because that's the same thing He told me at Prefall (He spoke through Thaddeus in Hello Africans post) and when I stopped fixing my eyes on myself (my mistakes and the devil's accusations) and on my mind (trying to understand grace logically), yeah when I took my eyes off me and fixed them on God (the Living Loving Faithful Father) I was set free! It didn't happen immediately because there was a battle of doubt (unbelief) vs. faith (choosing to believe the Truth about God, His great Love and my identity in Him). It really helped me to speak the Truth outloud to silence the accuser in my thoughts. Yeah He then set me free and filled me with His Love through His Holy Spirit("God has poured out his Love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."(Romans 5:5)And yeah when I did this (renewed my mind with Truth), it was kinda like the story of the prodigal son:
"So he got up and went to his father.“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate." (Luke 15: 19-24)
The thing is God is our Father and He sees us and cares about us and He doesn't care how long we've been distracted by the world, deceived or oppressed by the enemy, He loves us the same. All He cares about is that we come back to Him and freely receive His Love and find our identity in Him (sons and daughters) because He hurts to see us hurt and oppressed by the world. He just LOVE US for free! hahaha We don't have to work for it or even understand it. We just need to see it. Let us behold His Love :-)
NEVER will I leave you, NEVER will I forsake you
At one prayer meeting during Fall, Paul, Thaddeus and I were praying for each other and doing listening prayer. God gave me encouraging words through them. Paul told me that God was going to protect me- He got a vision of the cross and it's shadow (It reminded me of Psalm 91) and Thaddeus got this verse for me:
"I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty" (2 Corinthians 6:18)
This was really encouraging to hear because, I was facing a lot of opposition and I still had the fear of rejection. At prefall, I shared in my post that many people had visions about what was going to happen this year. Most of people got visions that spiritual warfare would intensify this year. Some people had visions/dreams that there would be lots of conflict between the staff and students in the fellowship and it is unfortunate that this came to pass :( ( "a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household." -Matthew 10: 36. To be continued... )
Let's all behold His love and receive it =) God is with us and even when everyone deserts us He never will.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ." (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)
P.S: Thanks God for my earthly dad, for how you have shown me Your love and protection over me through Him. And thanks God for being the Perfect Father who loves me perfectly :)
*Note: "My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." =) (Proverbs 3:11-12)
I thank God for my African parents who helped me understand what this verse means lol.
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Every stress and anxiety is gone when I enter Your Rest. I am surrounded by the Power of Your Love! :)
It's LIVING LIFE WITHOUT FEAR OF EXPRESSING ONE'S THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THROUGH WORDS AND ACTIONS
It's NOT LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE-"NO! THAT'S A SCAM!"- BUT IT'S HONESTLY DISPLAYING THE CONTENT OF ONE'S HEART. "THAT'S BEING REAL!"
It's STANDING FIRM ON WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN, NOTCONFORMING TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU.
It's FINDING YOURIDENTITY IN CHRIST, FIGURING OUT YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE and LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST WITH ABSOLUTELY NO APOLOGIES....
It's SAYING TO THE WORLD THAT LOOKS DOWN UPON YOU, "THIS IS ME! THIS IS WHO I AM. GOD CREATED ME WITH A UNIQUE PERSONALITY SO DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE EXACTLY LIKE YOU. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE ME OR BRING ME DOWN. JUST ACCEPT ME THE WAY I AM. EVEN IF YOU TRY TO DO SO, I'LL CHANGE FOR NO ONE BUT CHRIST."
It's BEING YOURSELF REGARDLESS OF WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU OR SAY ABOUT YOU, OR HOW THE WORLD AROUND YOU ACTS.
It's LIBERATING YOURSELF FROM THE CONSTANT PRESSURE OF THE EVER-JUDGING EYES AND UNSHUTTING-MOUTHS THAT TRY TO SUPPRESS YOU, SQUEEZING THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!
IT'S UNVEILING YOUR MASKS AND THROWING THEM AWAY FOR GOOD!
In two words it's "BEING YOURSELF", WHO GOD CREATED YOU TO BE.
IT'S BEING YOU WITH ME, AND YOU, IN SPITE OF ME.
So then, KEEP IT REAL!....BE YOU! :-)
(I wrote this note on 12/3/07. Inspired by: Life, Psalm 139:14,1 Timothy 3:16, Romans 12:1-2, Galatians 6:9, Hebrews 12:2)
__________________________________________________________________________ Related Quotes:
-It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not.."~Andre Gide
-"The real you, I believe, is not the person others see, not even the person you see, but the person God, Christ and the Holy Spirit see. Only they know the real you." ~Selwyn Hughes
-"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting" ~e.e. cummings, 1955
(For more great "YOU" quotes go to: http://www.quotegarden.com/be-self.html )
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IT'S TIME TO BE YOURSELF! IT'S TIME TO FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So if you've been reading my blog you probably know thatdiscouragement/mental oppression/spiritual depression is something that I've been struggling with. But all year long God's been telling me, "Remember who you are"and "be yourself" and it's funny that in trying to do that I've faced soooo much opposition from the most unexpected sources (details later) and that's what has been discouraging me and kept me in bondage. So last quarter God told me something else, "Stop asking the world permission to be yourself. I am the One who has given you your identity and I'm telling you, you are Free to be yourself. So be!" (Read Joshua 1:9) So I realized that I had decisions to make,... I had to choose whether to listen to God and obey Him or to keep listening to the world and waiting for them to give me approval to be myself. But I let fear distract me and drive me to discouragement and apathy. At the end of the quarter I ran into these prophetic songs and God spoke to me again through them. So this Spring quarter I made a decision: to listen to God and to follow Him over trying to please the world. This was my decision but I hadn't made it official yet due to fear of even more rejection and opposition. But God has encouraged me once more to be myself and this encouragement has come from unexpected sources as well. So yeah, there's no time to fear, .... I shall soon make it official. This may all sound cryptic right now lol but it shall all be crystal clear pretty soon so stay tuned! In the meantime (and always) BE YOU! FLY! :-)
(Brothers and sisters in Christ, God is doing something new [He says so in His Word and through His Spirit] so let's ask Him to give us eyes to see and ears to hear so that we may follow Him where He is going. Let's fly with Him :)
In my "
