"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." ☺
(Philipians 1: 3-6)
Yay! God is in control! He is working behind the scenes (watering and pruning) but eventually seeds will grow and fruit will show =)
It's only a matter of time :)
"The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." =)
(1 Thessalonians 5:24)
Yes God is in control but that doesn't mean we have no part to play. Our part is to be good soil. My prayer tonight:
cloudy night. driving down the 91 with my mum. we come up a bend. and wow! what a sight! the half moon is hUgE and low in the sky as if resting on the mountains. shining with a radiance only second to the sun. and beneath it, a sea of twinkling lights. no, not from the stars above, but from the tiny houses posted on the mountain. on the radio: the song "God You reign" just ends and "Indescribable" begins. we coast along. dark clouds fill the sky.(the moon exits the stage). a light rain patters against the windshield. seconds later, the moon reappears with clouds wrapped around it. shining even brighter. now higher in the sky. now, no earthly lights twinkling in competition. only darkness resounds against the hills besieging the freeway. the rain ceases.the clouds step aside. the half moon shines. it shines bright and proud. for all I care, in this dark night, half moon, you have been my sun.
*When He first came, He came to show us the Father.
"The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross." (Colossians 1: 15-20)
"No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known." (John 1:14)
"Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” (John 14: 6-7)
*He left the earth to be with the Father (like when the moon was hid from my sight) but He is coming back! When He does, He will come reunite us with Himself and His Father (the Holy Spirit is already inside us). And then He will come to renew all things just like He promised. And in the same way that God decided to use us spread the good news of His salvation, He also chooses to allow us to partner with Him in His renewal plan. God, you are awesome! =)
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” (John 14:1-4)
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first." (Matthew 19: 28-30)
Then the sovereignty, power and greatness of the kingdoms under the whole heaven will be handed over to the saints, the people of the Most High. His kingdom will be an everlasting kingdom, and all rulers will worship and obey him.' (Daniel 7:27)
"The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory." (Isaiah 60:19)
But the saints of the Most High will receive the kingdom and will possess it forever--yes, for ever and ever.' (Daniel 7:18)
"There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." (Revelation 22:5)
This gives me HOPE! He's coming back! =D
I wait in hope for this great :) (for His people) and dreadful :'( (for His enemies) day when the Lord comes back to reign in all His splendor and majesty! (Zechariah 14)
Today there's a super moon - I didn't know till some people posted about it on fb last night... And last night I was listening to the Moriah Peter's song below and this morning too which reminded me of this post. Danielle posted this picture which also reminded me of this post. I had read up on it when the first super moon happened this year and the article said that it's really rare to have this trifecta super moon. Three in a year, the same year that begun the series of blood moon should tell us something. God is definitely telling us something coz He does speak through His creation: JESUS IS COMING SOON!! :D
“And there will be signs in sun and moon and stars, and on the earth distress of nations in perplexity because of the roaring of the sea and the waves, people fainting with fear and with foreboding of what is coming on the world. For the powers of the heavens will be shaken. And then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. Now when these things begin to take place, straighten up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”(Luke 21:25-28)
Something else that happened today: Historic flooding in Phoenix. Saw this picture and caption on Beckah Shae's page: "We literally left Phoenix YESTERDAY!!!!! NEWS TODAY: Historic Flooding! Most Rain in a single day in 75yrs!! 3.29 inches, State of emergency declared, 13,000 lost power, everything is closed and 2 deaths! Praying Gods Favor & Comfort for my friends and all believers! That they may encounter Is. 43:2! “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” READ - Eph. 5"
This now reminds me of my Listen with your Heart post back in 2012. You can start reading from "The Shaking before the Awakening" section. Now, I must add, this is not to instill fear but rather a sense of urgency and preparation. God has been so gracious with America, giving us time to repent but unfortunately we take advantage of his grace and fall asleep -- I know I have :/ But His mercies are new every morning :D ... He lets the shaking happen to awaken us. So let's heed the signs and not wait for things to get worse. I have some more news (good and bad) I need to share so I'll get on that. But the point is: IT'S TIME TO PRAY! FAST! SEEK HIS FACE! REPENT! INTERCEED FOR THIS LAND. AND LOVE. We cannot afford to be divided and distracted at a time like this. So let us humble ourselves before God and pray for REVIVAL. I know that acknowledging that we are living in the such times is a bit scary but it's also really exciting and God wants to prepare us by arming us with more of His Spirit, His Power and Glory. He will protect, provide for us and guide us. Jesus is our security in changing times. Related posts / Application posts:A Generation Arising!, FULL Armor of God, Time to SEEK, Pimp My Ride
P.S: I'm gonna be spending a lot of time in prayer at the prayer shed this week so hit me up if you wanna join me! (The Prayer Shed is behind the Jesus Burgers House -6686 DP and it's open for anyone or groups to pray, meditate, worship ... And please feel free to ask questions - I'd be happy to share what I know and my relationship with Jesus. Peace! =)
(This was part of a research paper I wrote last Spring hence all the references)
“There is an illness in our culture; it arises from our rigid separation of the visible world from the powers that undergird and animate it.” (Palmer 10) Modern education embodies and perpetuates the chief vice of Western culture which is secularization, as well as the other vices such as materialism, and individualism.
These problematic values come into play within the educational system in form of objectivity, the deification of science and technology, a cultivation of competition over community and a decline in ethics in regard to how we treat each other and our environment. This essay seeks to especially expose the dangerous effects of objectivity (a form of compartmentalization) which is enforced in conventional education and to explore the necessity of a “spiritual revolution,”(Dalai Lama 17) not just as the solution to the ethical problem but also as a solution to the problem posed by the “objectivist education” (Palmer 40).
The overarching vice in Western culture that influences education is secularization. An important promoter of secularization is the “separation of church and state,” a phrase derived from Thomas Jefferson’s letter to the Danbury baptist association. The First ammendment of the constitution states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;...” (US const., amend. 1) The noble purpose of this amendment is evident and commendable. The American population
is diverse in many aspects including in religious beliefs hence it was in the best interest of accommodating this diversity that this wall of separation was erected. In other words, instead of having one religion established and the others disregarded or dissolved, this “neutral ground” was created as a compromise solution. However, does the interpretation and implementation of the first amendment match up to it original purpose? Was “neutral ground” created whereby no one religion is promoted nor any religious beliefs prohibited?
Within the school system the first amendment was meant to keep administrators and teachers from endorsing their own religious viewpoints to their students, and it was also meant to keep them from “inhibiting and denigrating any particular religion, religion in general or lack of religious belief.” (Anti-Defamation League website) On the contrary, there is a double standard in how it is implemented. The freedom from religion (the establishment clause of the first amendment) is emphasized more and is more readily implemented than the freedom of religion (the free exercise clause).
From my four years experience in an American public high school and university,most of the instances when the teacher talked about religion, it involved ridiculing it or those who practiced it. For a more specific example, my high school AP English teacher once joked about how her brother had found a lot of obscene things in the Bible. I found it offensive that she shared that story the way she did; first, because it encouraged students to also ridicule those who read and believed in the Bible. Second, she did not provide the context of those obscene things that her brother found. She left out whether the Bible promoting the obscene things or demoting them. Third, without realizing it, as a literature teacher she was being hypocritical in her method of criticizing the Bible. If it was another literary text, say Hamlet, and a student in her class did not read it but decides to give an analysis based on what her brother said, the student would receive a failing grade for not reading the text and making her own analysis. Yet the teacher goes unpunished for making a similar mistake. (Hey teacher, if you are reading this... I know you were only sharing your opinion. I didn't share mine back then so I'm making up for it now. But I have nothing against you personally. You were a great teacher!) This is one of many such incidences that made my fellow classmate decide to attend a private Christian university. She said, “ In public schools you are not free to be yourself. You are not free to be a Christian and to express your faith. So I am going to a Christian university where I will be free to do that.”
In essence, the wall of separation between church and state does not provide a
“neutral ground” in which no one religion is favored but instead,it favors "secular faith". This trend can also be observed at the university level where some professors proudly and freely talk about their disbelief in God or religions in their classrooms in a way that puts down students who believe otherwise. They manage to get away
with this by thinking that since they do not believe in the existence of God or other religious components, that they are not on the same level as everyone else who does. Hence that point of view puts them on the outsidewhere the first amendment “does not apply to them,”thus giving them the leeway to denigrate religion in the educational setting.
Another way that some professors elude not fully implementing the first amendment in the classroom is by defending themselves against terminologies that they may think do not apply to them such as “religion” and “beliefs” with those they hold onto such as “science” and “tolerance.”
For further clarification and emphasis, a few terms need to be defined. To begin with, according to the Oxford dictionary, religion is “a belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods.” It is also defined as “a pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance.”(Oxford dictionary)Furthermore, in his article on the “True Definition of Belief”, Ty Bennet defines belief as an “inward conviction and a feeling of certainty about something.”
Like mentioned before, these professors who violate the first amendment, many of whom are atheist or agnostic, are able to do so without realizing it since their focus is usually on their “disbelief” which separates them from those who do “believe.” But I would like to emphasize, the second part of the definition of religion,“it is a pursuit or interest that someone ascribes supreme importance.” With that it can be
argued that atheism is not just a disbelief, a notion that is over-emphasized and results in the separation that exists, but also it is a belief of its own kind. A belief that a god or gods do not exist and that the material world is all there is. This view of atheism as a belief, brings it down to the same level as all the different kinds of beliefs that exist and that the first amendment applies to.
It should also be noted that secularization and secularism, though different, go hand-in-hand. “Secularization is a process... that gives way to ‘secularism’”(Cline, about.com) - which is an ideology, a philosophy. George Jacob Holyoake, the originator of the term "secularism," defined it most explicitly in his book English Secularism,
“Secularism is a code of duty pertaining to this life founded on considerations purely human, and intended mainly for those who find theology indefinite or inadequate, unreliable or unbelievable. Its essential principles are three:
1. The improvement of this life by material means.
2. That science is the available Providence of man.
3. That it is good to do good. Whether there be other good or not, the good of the present life is good, and it is good to seek that good." (Holyoake)
Since secularization, through the separation of church and state, led to the exclusion of religion in public life per say, (it did not leave a "vacuum" like it was intended to) “religion” was replaced by secularism . Secularization has fostered a decrease of the influence of religion on the American society, and as the influence of religion declined so did ethics.
What impact does this have within the educational system? C.S. Lewis testifies that “Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.”(Lewis, The Abolition of Man) The ideal vacuum that was thought to have been created by the exclusion of religion in the public sector has actually been occupied by the subordinate vices: materialism and individualism. Stay tuned...
A word of truth, a blast of fresh air; refreshing and crisp; eye-opening and thought-provoking, crippling yet revitalizing,offensive yet life-changing, shocking yet revealing, rare and rich, challenging but oh so true!
Hmmh, if just one word of truth from a mere stranger who barely knows you could be so powerful, I can't help but wonder what a couple of words of truth would do to us; words of truth from SomeOne who knows us even better than we know ourselves.
But the thing is, words and truth demand a response.
Well, will I let this blast of fresh air flow past me and leave me unchanged and unmoved or will I breath it in, and be cleansed and changed by it? Will I then breath out the overflow to effect change on my surroundings?
And that's not a question just for me...it's for all you who stand in the paths of these refreshing winds, everyone who encounters those words of Truth.
Update: 11/6/13
I went to Prayer and Prophecy at the Prayer shed (behind the Jesus Burgers House) last Monday and it was being led by the Bethel team that came over this weekend. It's funny that the team that prayed for me, two of them had actually given me words the Friday before at Upper Room. So anyway I recorded it on my phone and it's in the video I made below. It was encouraging and gave me lots of confirmation. It reminded me about this post as well as "Let My People Go" and that whole series. But I'm sharing coz it's not just a word for me. It's a word for the this time and this generation so let's step into it together =)
(Message I shared with InterVarsity staff on Dec. 1, 2011)
1. Unity (including Racial Reconciliation) through Equality.
- I really feel like God wants to bring unity in the fellowship through bringing equality (Equality will bring Unity). (I've been learning a lot about that through my Black Studies class but I'll spare you the details... for now). I also learned that through the verses I shared last night:
a.) Galatians 6: 2 "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." vs. 5 "for each one should carry their own load."
- What's "their own load" ? = "each other's burdens."
- God wants to bring equality in burden-carrying. NOT one-sided burden-carrying- That's only Jesus' job. Jesus tells us to do everything in unity ("that they may be one as We are one").
- And we cannot love each other deeply ("fulfill the law of Christ") if we there's no equality in burden carrying.
-In the world leadership is all about hierarchy, power and control. In the body of Christ leadership is all about equality, humility and servanthood and having an influence through that. We know very well that you staff are "here for us," "here to serve us" and that's true but it should be mutual. Leadership is servanthood. We are actually all here to serve each other (=lead each other) using the different gifts that God has given us. One-sided servanthood/leadership leads to a high expectation of staff to meet all the needs of the fellowship and lots of dissatisfaction and complaining when that doesn't happen and that's a huge burden for staff. God wants to wake us up to the fact that we are all leaders/servants. You can read more about that in the post: "A Call for Unity in the Body of Christ."
b.) 1 Corinthians 12: 6-7 "There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good."
-vs. 24b-26 "But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."
(God's affirmative action plan (lol) for the sake of unity and equality)
c.)Practicals- So how can this be applied? When there is equality and mutuality in Common ground and all our different kinds of meetings. When its not just a time for one set of people to give (staff n worship team, any leaders) and another set of people (students= the "audience") to receive. We all should be giving and receiving. That way people feel part of what is going on and would actually want to come to be a part, to be known by others and to be used by God. That kind of sharing brings equality because this is what it turns into: "It doesn't matter if I'm staff or a student, it doesn't matter what year I am, whether I am a leader or just an "attendee", it doesn't matter what gender I am or what culture I am from, all that matters is that we are all one in Christ and I have a voice, spiritual gifts, talents and a cultural perspective to be used for the body and I want to give as much as I want to receive."
-Unity is all about equality in giving, all about equality in sharing -The early church (multi-ethnic and racially reconciled through Christ) gave all they had to each other so that no one lacked, whether it was materially or spiritually (ex. encouragement), just all aspects of giving.
"What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church." (1 Corinthians 14:26)
- In the first email I sent you guys at the beginning of the quarter, I already shared some ways that I saw this being put in practice in Kenya so you can revisit that email. And I have a lot of more ideas, for example, how the Arts can be used as a form ministry and worship.
-So yesterday, you guys kinda went on a debate about whether structure is the problem and why or why it should be reduced/ removed.
-But I don't think its about structure. It's NOT about structure. It's about worship, our spirit interacting with the Spirit. It's all about the Spirit.
- There's 2 things going on:
a.) Our spirit, our heart- We've kinda dealt with this one. In Kenya we had roughly the same structure of "events" as we do here: bible study, discipleship, prayer meetings, church, Christian Union ("Common
ground"). So the difference is at a heart-level, the spiritual level-> Why do some people here feel forced to come to "events," good enriching events or stop coming, while others in Kenya have the same events but its never a burden but a joy and new people are always joining in? {Fruit & growth} So we answered that: It's a question of whether they are going to participate in what is going on (giving) and not just being in the audience (receiving) but both.
b.)How the Spirit moves and our spiritual response to Him moving- It's not about structure. So we can have structure and plan in advance BUT we should'nt be bound by it -> Our set structure should not limit how the Spirit may feel like moving that day and how and when people feel led to respond. For example, at the Real conference, it was during the first worship set and even before the Speaker was introduced that the Spirit was leading us to stand in awe of God and confess our sins n lay down our burdens. That wasn't in the schedule. They had planned to sing a few songs, have the speaker then prayer at the end but that wasn't how the Spirit wanted to move that night and not how the people felt led to respond. So the worship team stayed on that one song that we were responding to, to give us room to respond to how the Spirit was moving and Mattie and Erna invited us to get prayer in the back at that time during worship (not waiting till the end as was scheduled). I have other examples if you want.
Like Jesus told the Samaritan woman: (It's not about structure, its about deep calling out to deep-> our spirit interacting with His-> worship)
“Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” (structure)
“Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. (Not about structure) You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” (John 4: 19-24)
3. "Shadowing"- Learning through Another's (and each others) experience as well as experiencing something different for ourselves
- At my internship we went through a painful 36 hours of lecture/talks/ "being equipped with tools and information" but that wasn't enough for us to start working
our shifts. It was mandatory to shadow other experienced interns- to go alongside them (letting them lead you) as they did what now came naturally to them.
-I think the same thing is important for you guys as staff and us as leaders. In Worship team we started being more of a community (not just a bunch of different people singing and playing instruments together) and there's now room for open discussion for changes we wanna see and new things we wanna try. I would share my ideas with Shayne and Bubba, but most of the time nothing would change and they would be like "Ok thanks for all this insightful information, but what are we supposed to do about it?"
-That's when I realized, "It's one thing to teach people stuff by telling them things that could change, but its another to let them experience for themselves how that change is being put into practice = to shadow" .
- So Wilson first, then me, strongly suggested to the rest of the worship team to all go and experience something different together at Isla Vista Church. Stuff always came up but they were finally able to :) (I was in my intership training that day:(
- Anyway, in the same way, I think its great you guys are going to be further equipped with racial rec tools next week (have fun! and we'll be praying for you!) but I think its also important for you guys to "shadow" because there are some tools you won't know how to use that someone else does due to their cultural background and personal experiences. So you guys can go to IVC (Sundays at 4pm at the Korean church on Sueno) together or any other church that has a flowy, 1 Cor 14:26 kinda structure, or any church from a different culture, just to see how others do it. Not just to "see" but letting them lead you into worship as they know it. Essentially, this is what it means to displace yourself, that is, to get out of your comfort zone, what you're used to, in order to learn from another and experience God in a different setting (All about Jesus). Just a suggestion (a strong one:) ( *Update: InterVarsity, we don't have to go too far to displace ourselves, we are a multiethnic community let's start where we are. This was the idea behind having the "Black Church Experience" for one Common Ground but it got cancelled in Winter quarter :(
K have a blessed day! :)
Attachment: I have an image of racial rec in my head => People of different ethnicities/cultures coming together and holding hands (unity) and singing kumbaya (Come by here Lord). It's ironic that that's what people think we shouldn't be doing. People always use that phrase, "its not like we'll hold hands and sing kumbaya then everything will be fine, we have to do more." BUT I think that is actualy what it's all about Unity in everything (singing, praying, laughing, crying, working, resting...) not just for Christ but by Him (we need Him to bring unity).Unity in and through Christ our Lord, the Head, the main Shepherd, that's what holding hands and singing kumbaya represents.
Related Post:Check out "A Call for Unity in the Body of Christ" (The devil's plan is to bring disunity because he knows the power of being one in Christ) and Spirit of UNITY (only the Holy Spirit can bring Unity we cannot achieve it by our own strength and good intentions like the world tries to and fails).
Prayer Song: Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” (John 21:15)
I think Jesus is asking us the same thing. "Do you love me more than_______?:
Like the song let's ask Him to ♫ Come make war on every other lover... ♫
And Read 1 John =) Be blessed! Let's remember God is with us as we do our papers, midterms and prepare for finals. All the best! =) (Message I shared with InterVarsity on Nov. 17, 2011)
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22: 37-40)
♫ What does love look like? is the question I've been pondering ♫
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you,so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” - Jesus ♥ John 13: 34-35 ♥
2/13/2013 -> In the Journey post God was encouraging me that I'm on my way home. Yes I've encountered many obstacles and setbacks but nothing is wasted. He was showing me what was in the way of me being myself, what was in the way of me loving others. I learnt a lot and He's been renewing my mind. I already mentioned some of the obstacles that I identified but through my experiences over the break and coming into this quarter God showed me another one that I hadn't noticed and I think this just might be the last one: I really care about unity so I want to see reconciliation so I try to get everyone on the same page. I try to get everyone together to reconcile through waiting on God, fighting for each other using spiritual weapons such as prayer and worship. Which is also what God wants to happen and what He had told me to share. But then nothing happens then I feel the burden to try to make people understand why that is the solution so we can all apply it together. And I wait for that to happen because I know things will be easier after that. Things will flow. People will finally understand what I'm saying and I'll be accepted. Everyone will care about each other more and love each other deeper. So I wait for that to happen.
LOVE LIKE JESUS DID. LOVE INDIVIDUALS. LOVE ALWAYS.
So God was showing me where my approach was wrong. Yes He had told me to share the solution, the shortcut to unity and reconciliation. But He was telling me that it wasn't my burden to carry. I felt obliged to carry it since I care for unity but it's not my job to make everyone understand. He told me to stop defending myself since it's His battle not mine. His Word not mine. What He revealed to me about myself really pierced my heart. He showed me that I was waiting for things to get easier so that I could love people. I was waiting for the right conditions or permission to be myself. I was waiting to feel welcome and accepted for me to give my heart away to people. And He showed me that's not real love. I want to love people but at the same time I don't want to inconvenience them by initiating if they don't seem to want me/ need me in their lives. But He showed me that it was self-defensive and to love I need to die to myself. I need to love like Jesus did. To love in the face of rejection/ not being included, opposition, apathy, being misunderstood, being unknown, being different. I just need to love always. He told me stop worrying about what people think about me because He sees my heart. So just to follow His lead and give His love away. I thought I had to get everyone on the same page so we can all apply stuff together so I tried and failed and kept trying and kept failing. But He just told me to keep it simple and love my friends. To love my neighbor. Yes unity is great and it's gonna happen eventually but everything needs to start at home, at the individual level. To love and treasure everyone He has placed in my lives right where they're at and right where I'm at without waiting for some change to happen first. That was really freeing for me to hear! I don't need to wait anymore. I don't need to fight anymore. I am free to be me and free to love others! Thank you Lord for your great mercy for me and for renewing my mind with Your Love and Truth! =) I Believe in the miracle of Love =D I'm excited to apply this! Leaving the past behind since God makes all things NEW! :D
♫ You must love Me with arms wide open, a heart exposed, sometimes bleeding ♫ Update: 4/3/13
So at the beginning of Winter quarter God told me this: "Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." (John 12:24)
And now, after my last quarter at UCSB, I am still a single seed :( ...I should have let my emotions get in the way... Vulnerability will be the death of me. It will be the start of new life.... Listen to the arms wide open song again.... More details to come.
(Message I shared with InterVarsity on Nov. 8, 2011)
Introduction
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16-17)Like I always say, I like to share what God teaches me from His Word. So if He teaches me, rebukes me, corrects me and trains me, I like to pass that on. It comes naturally to me to want to share what I learn with you guys so that I don't benefit from it alone and also so that we can help each other apply God's Word. (That's why I always say "we" in my messages since God is speaking to me as well.) Freely I receive, so freely I give =)
My Obvious Problem
As you already know that my method has been problematic with the purpose and use of this page (not the gift of teaching or writing). I'm not apologising for the length because I think God is the one who leads me to say all that needs to be heard by different people in different situations. But I didn't like how it filled the whole page and I had resolved to use my blog in order to avoid that. So why didn't I do that? Why didn't I start using my blog immediately??
The Not-so-obvious Problems: Issues with PRIDE and LOVE
The thing is, I had been slacking on writing stuff that God had been revealing to me from the beginning on the quarter. [No, I don't hear a loud voice from heaven nor do I get crazy visions or get caught up in the 3rd heaven or anything like that....For me, God usually speaks to me through my thoughts. I just get a thought/feeling that I should share something or do something, and I have come to learn (through experience, disobedience mostly) not to ignore such thoughts (that line up with God's Word) since God speaks to me that way.]
So since I hadn't shared that previous stuff, more stuff kept coming up that was more relevant to the present time so I felt like I had to share it before it lost its relevance. So I didn't start to use my blog since I knew I had to write that previous stuff first in the order that God gave me and so I kept using this page for the recent stuff.
But God really convicted me this past weekend that I was being proud. I was really confused because I knew He is the one who told me to say that stuff and He had confirmed that to me in different ways. And I thought I was not being proud because I was not "trying to exalt myself above other people," which is the definition of pride that I'm used to. But God showed me that there is a different way of being proud, but it still is what it is, PRIDE and He hates it. -> At church this Sunday that was the topic (Daniel 4). God made me see that not putting Him first was a form of pride. Because when He would tell me to share something (when that thought came up) I'd put it aside and decide to do it when it would be most convinient for me (which was usually never), since I knew how to manage my time better than God's suggestions?! (oooooooooh! that spells out P R I D E ! ! !)
And as you know Pride comes before a fall and yeah last week I got to experience that for myself. So God's been telling me that the stuff He told me to say was from Him but since I did not say it in the order He told me, that was disobedience and it was not received well by most of you since I said it in my own order not the order God gave me, which is the order that works. (If you want, check out the Trust/Love Issues anyone? post. It's a call to abide-> That's the first thing I felt like God was telling me to share but I have been putting it off (not putting Him first).
And yeah I also have issues with love.
One thing about that: To love God is to obey Him.
And He actually commandsus to love Him and love each other as ourselves. Those are the 2 greatest commandments (not suggestions) so if we don't we are disobeying Him :( But thank God for His grace and mercy for us!
So yeah, staff confronted me about all these problems that I brought onto myself by disobedience (not following God's order, not putting Him first) and now I know, its much easier to obey God in the first place instead of not obeying Him and then trying to clean up the mess that comes up after (conflict resolution is no fun!)
But thank God we can learn from our mistakes! And I really learnt a lot from resolving conflict with Marissa. Our conversation really opened my eyes to that fact it's not just me with problems, we all have problems, and we are, in some ways, responsible for each others problems (or lack of application of the solution).
"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." (1 Peter 1:23)
Thanks for reading. Sorry for any way that I've hurt you. I didn't mean to. If there's anything in specific let me know and I'll apologize and clarify. Let me know if you have questions. Love you guys (I want to love you more though, let's work on that together and encourage each other to Love God first and with our all:)
On Nov. 11, 2011:
Thanks for the encouragement Shirley! :) Yes its easy to fall for the devil's discouragement to try to change myself to conform to people's opinions of me and to keep me from speaking out what God teaches me (I fell for that before, God delivered me & I don't want to fall for that again).
I don't want to tone down the Holy Spirit's fire coz the Word says I shouldn't (1 Thess. 5:18). Yeah I don't want to do that!
"He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)
That's what I want to do. Especially because of this verse:
"Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." (James 3:1)
So I will keep sharing what God teaches me. Truth may be hard to hear most times so I want to improve on communicating God's truth (teaching, correction, rebuke) in love (emphasizing God's grace, mercy and love because in Him there is no condemnation; rebuke may sound like condemnation but it isn't; its calling out the devil's schemes with the aim of leading us into repentance ...so I wanna try to make that truth more clear).
We are all to use our gifts for the body. Paul says, if it's teaching then teach. But for the rest of the body on the receiving end, we also have a responsibility to listen, not to take Truth lightly, and to test whether its God's truth or not so that we can keep each other in check and not be misled.
"Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good,reject every kind of evil." (I Thess. 5:20-22)
cloudy night. driving down the 91 with my mum. we come up a bend. and wow! what a sight! the half moon is hUgE and low in the sky as if resting on the mountains. shining with a radiance only second to the sun. and beneath it, a sea of twinkling lights. no, not from the stars above, but from the tiny houses posted on the mountain. on the radio: the song "God You reign" just ends and "Indescribable" begins. we coast along. dark clouds fill the sky.(the moon exits the stage). a light rain patters against the windshield. seconds later, the moon reappears with clouds wrapped around it. shining even brighter. now higher in the sky. now, no earthly lights twinkling in competition. only darkness resounds against the hills besieging the freeway. the rain ceases.the clouds step aside. the half moon shines. it shines bright and proud. for all I care, in this dark night, half moon, you have been my sun.
is diverse in many aspects including in religious beliefs hence it was in the best interest of accommodating this diversity that this wall of separation was erected. In other words, instead of having one religion established and the others disregarded or dissolved, this “neutral ground” was created as a compromise solution. However, does the interpretation and implementation of the first amendment match up to it original purpose? Was “neutral ground” created whereby no one religion is promoted nor any religious beliefs prohibited?
our shifts. It was mandatory to shadow other experienced interns- to go alongside them (letting them lead you) as they did what now came naturally to them. 
(Message I shared with InterVarsity on Nov. 8, 2011)